Yesterday I´ve been speaking with someone about painful experiences in my childhood. When I recognized she was feeling bad, just out of her beautiful ability to have empathy, I immediately told her to please change her point of view. That I wouldn´t be the person I am without these experiences. And that it is really not an easy path, but that it made me compassionate, strong and independent, so all is well. Make sure that this goes also for you. Make the bad stuff strenghten you, so you will thrive, no matter what.
The hard thing about being abused as a child was that I still attracted abusive people. The hard thing about having a covert narcissist as a mother was the energetic imprint, that would attract people, pretending to be loving and kind…that would than turn out to be covert narcissists. And that they are even existing in the spiritual community. But makes sense of course, it´s way too yummy for the wolfs to not go where their supply hangs around. And as Matt Kahn once said, there´s nothing worse than a spiritual narcissist.
All of these experiences are just painful, as long as we allow them to hurt us, without getting the benefit out of it.
I don´t know how you see it, but one thing that did hurt me was a feeling of imbalance and the idea of “that´s not right that they get away with it and maybe even harm more people”. Well, drop it, actually they don´t. Noone escapes him-/herself on the long run. Noone is seeding without reaping, but it´s none of your business. Just take care of your own seeding and harvest. If you would stay in pain and misery, the Law of Attraction had to bring more pain and misery. Choose something better instead. Cause you can bring in balance for you, and you are only responsible for you, when you bring in a benefit to balance the harm.
An example: Someone told me a story, to get my attention, time, money. Although I felt something was weird I gave them what they wanted. Should I feel hurt when I recognized they tried to use me? Or instead say: I paid for the lesson to next time listen to my inner voice and to learn to say “no” ?! I chose the last point of view. When the same scenario happened to me lately the other got my “no” and than tried to manipulate me, accuse me, said mean things to bring me down. Didn´t hurt me at all. He showed his true colors, not mine. I laughed my ass off. Nice try.
A lesson learned doesn´t really hurt any more. There might be an echo, like a story from a pastlife, but not more.
But do not deny your own feelings of anger or pain. They have a message for you, they show you something that is not the truth of your soul. Just do not linger in these feelings, when they have delivered their message. Anger for example might carry the message: “I am not a victim!” or “I want this situation changed!” And that is true, but there´s no need to harm someone else to prove that point. Use your anger, that is compressed energy, and let it unfold in something constructive. Clean your house or run a mile or two. Compressed energy is like fuel, use it to move forward and do not lit a candle, because you are a lightworker, and make it finally all explode 😉
There´s always something beautiful we can find even in our darkest experiences. Having made so many experiences with abusive people crossing my borders and not respecting my free will, made sure I am very careful when working with other people to make sure to respect their free will and serve them in the best possible way. My abilities of tuning into others energy field could be very easily misused and I met those, that misuse their own abilities to get what they want. And it´s the reason why some people, that are hungry for power, wanted me in their team. Just it didn´t work, as even the best masks fall one day and than the game´s over. I search only the power over myself. That´s more than enough to master. Instead of overtaking others, I assist them to be whatever they choose. And that really rocks!
My empathy makes sure, that I couldn´t harm someone without harming myself. And we all do harm us when we harm others, just an empath feels it immediately, while a narcissistic personality might never realize she did cause it all herself.
Oh, by the way, to give you a practical hint: Covert narcissists are really sneaky and often pretend to be empaths, too. Well, they might be very good actors, but only concerned when it comes to their own feelings. You can hurt them with laughable things like not having given them a like on Facebook or not having given them a call the last week. But they are really only sensitive when it´s about them. They never ever think compassionate about someone else or about the harm they are creating in other peoples lifes. They give a shit when it comes to other peoples feelings…and if you are an empath you have to learn to be a bit more like them. Just 1% to be able to kickass if needed. I never thought this would be what I´d learn in between lightworkers, but funny enough that´s been one of my most important lessons.
Become an alchemist of the soul and find something that serves you in every experience. A lot of my work as a Soulutioner is about this, to assist my clients to find the point of view that helps them to move ahead. When you find the benefit in a situation, you suddenly feel a positive feeling like clarity, freedom or peace. That´s your indicator, that you made it. What you feel is the energy of balance, that is regained. You need no excuse of the other to find peace, balance, healing. It is all taking place inside of you. That´s an important step for mankind to realize you can move on, no matter what the other is doing or not. You do not need someone to say sorry, to be healed. You hold your own power to find balance, healing, harmony.
It needs two to make war, it needs one to be at peace.
May this article help you, may you thrive and shine your light <3
Photo: Flowering shadow 😉