Freeing shadows and opening the round table

Every time we experience something that we can not handle and are not able to deal with, an aspect of ourselves is split apart. He is than living in the shadows, holding the unwanted.

When wanting to become whole again, there is no other way but going into the shadows and opening up for these abandoned parts of us. In the shadows are our painful experiences, trauma, anger, fear etc. We do not want them. Especially in the new age community is a tendency to create a holy image of ourselves, that for example does not allow us to become angry. We want to create peace and harmony, therefore we do not allow our angry aspects to exist. I am someone who absolutely loves to focus on the positive in life. I love joy, happiness, creativity and peace. But I have experienced it myself firsthand and witnessed it with others, that there is no way to move ahead and to leave aspects of us behind. And think about it. How cruel is it to not allow all of you to exist? That´s not enlightened, that´s faint-hearted. If you try to escape yourself, you´ll experience these unwanted parts on the outside and they might easily go on a rampage. Whatever shows up on the outside, that you really, really dislike, is something that is also existing in your own shadows. Whenever you point fingers, three of your own fingers are pointing on yourself. And the more you deny them to exist, the more distorted the shadow will show up on the outside, until the issue is “right in your face”. You can than blame the other for all that isn´t working in your life. This is your free choice. Just you will run in circles and repeat the same story again and again. You can put the unwanted even in a box, label and compartmentalize it: “Men are relentless” or “Rich people are thieves” or “Woman are weak”. These will than become your filters of perception and seeing the world through these filters, you will block everything that doesn´t fit into your mental boxes. You will meet a thousand weak woman until you turn your attention inside and meet your own fear of being somehow weak and vulnerable.

In my own case it have had aspects of myself that I somehow saw as male, that I disliked. I couldn´t deal with anger and aggression, as these had caused trauma in my life. Well, when I made contact with my own male aspects a few years ago I realized I have had pastlifes as a warrior and that these aspects have been able to violate others, what is a horror to my sweet, loving aspects. The unwanted has been living inside of me. 4 years ago I decided to marry myself and to bring these “male & female” aspects together. Such an integration happens in many layers, but my aspects became coworkers. My warrior loves and protects “his lady” with all of his might. Cause when we release the unwanted aspects, they free also the gifts and talents they have been hiding in the shadows.

When the lightworker abandons his inner warrior he might fall prey for the wolves and he might lack the power and strenghts to bring out his gifts to this world. The divine makes no mistakes, our soulaspects are in their sum perfect to create exactly the personality we came to embody. So do not doubt the heavenly architect, that builded your house and welcome all the inhabitants.

I´m very glad to give love and acceptance to all of me now, to create my queendom. I was a bit astonished when I saw how my inner male aspect turned out to be a noble knight. He even showed me a round table and seated all the other aspects at this table. This is how we become whole again. So this shadow-aspect became a blessing. My very sensitive female side, when being one with the fiercy bold warrior, knows her path and noone is able to stop her or to make her walk someone elses path. She doesn´t buy others people shit anymore and if others try to harm her, she steps aside with a gentle smile to let them fall into their own traps. The warrior, married to the priestess, knows there are no enemies, but that others need their lessons, too. How else would they ever start to integrate and love all of their aspects?

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