Tag: true self

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The I-dentity Game

From the first day when we arrive on earth people tell us

a) who we are

b) who we are supposed to be.

To me that´s been the biggest issue on my spiritual path. a + b used to disconnect me from my true self and spirit.

It´s the cause of all self worth issues on this planet and the root of all the distortions we create.

Until this very day people throw their judgements onto me. My spiritual path makes me “crrrazy” in their eyes. My dedication to my path is seen as “naive”, “pointless”, “unrealistic” by people whom see success only when it comes in titles and money. Oh, and  don´t  get me wrong, being judgemental is not only an issue of everydays people, the spiritual communities are sometimes even worse, as there are a lot of people in it who want to be better in some way. The spiritual role can be totally distorted. They have just changed their topic from youthfulness and versace to yoga-positions and vegan cheese. It´s still an attempt to make the own ways the better and the other as “less”.

And all of it has been just an issue as long as I accepted it. When I look back it didn´t even matter if I still believed in their judgement or later felt into my inner truth and resisted their accusations. It really doesn´t matter if we buy into the ways of the distorted ego, or fight and resist it – we still feed it when we give any attention or energy into it. Until we don´t. End of game.

Dare it. Don´t compromise yourself for false friends. Be true to yourself and it won´t really matter who you loose, all you will win is your time, money, energy and self worth. Someone elses point of view has nothing to do with our own relationship with ourselves. What is the one that really counts on the long run.

All else might come and go, but “you with you” – that´s for eternity.

The ego, what is a huge topic in many spiritual teachings, is only arising when the self is denied. There´s no need to deny or fight the ego, if we allow us to simply be, the ego will no longer be an issue. It´s the ultimate coming home.

Please never feel bad about the human experience. Once we chose to express ourselves in the adventures of physical experiences, where we feel apart from source. There´s nothing wrong about it, we are the bravehearts of the multiverse for going into this density. And when we incarnate we need a kind of identity, so we create roles. But it should be our own creation and choice and we should be aware that we can change it every moment, as we are a fractal of all that is, free to be whatever we choose. The ego is arising the moment when we deny ourselves for the above mentioned a + b of others. It has invested in the lies and holds on to them for dear life. Have compassion for its fears, but choose your true, eternal being.

How can we know if it is a false identity or our true self, that we express? Whenever we act out of our true being, we feel in alignment with creation. We feel at peace and at ease. Often we can experience this kind of flow when we are creative in some way. For me writing for example feels natural, as I am at ease and love this kind of selfexpression. There´s no time when I am in the flow. Also nature works for me and many others to get in touch with the eternal self.

The more exhausting an identity, a role, is – the further it is apart from our real self.

That´s why a job for a paycheck is often exhausting and our true calling is normally fun. Well, and often the pressure is what kills the pleasure. We have to create out of an inner passion and fire, coming from our soul, otherwise we lose even interest in our most beautiful activities.

May you be happy with no ending. One and in love with your true self.

Free to be me

Therese Wenk, Muriel Shickman and myself have co-created another Quantum Healing Webinar. This one shall help you to let go of all of your old stuff, may it be physical or emotional luggage that you carry or unhealthy bonds to people and circumstances, that hold you back.

There´s nothing wrong with our past, things have been perfect, even if they wasn´t. We have been in training and allowed people and circumstances actually somehow to hold us back.

But 2018 brings in fresh air. Things are changing really, really quickly. To make these changes as smooth and comfortable as possible we have to go with the flow, not against it. Therefore we have to let go of all that is no longer needed.

I can assure you that you will not loose anything that belongs to you and that is connected in love. So, there´s really nothing to fear, but so much beautiful things to explore and open up for. What will enter your life, as you become a sovereign, is really in alignment with your essence.

We will assist you on a quantum level in this process. As our last event #metoo Quantum Healing Space has showed, our energies and modalities are adding in a perfect way to the great benefit of our participants.

To sign up, please follow the link: https://www.edudip.com/w/283424 In case the page shows up in german just scroll to the bottom and change the language setting from “Deutsch” to “English”. The fee for the event is only 12€ and includes the replay. In this way we express our gratitude towards the people that help to create the  event, as they contribute as representatives for mankind. The normal price for the replay afterwards is 36€. And as this is taking place in the quantum field, the ones that tune in lazer, into the replay, will still have the complete experience and effect.

We have created a Facebook-Eventpage, where you can ask question, discuss topics and get inspired all around the event. Feel free to connect there, if you are interested.

 

 

 

What free to be me means for me

I have taken a lot of steps over the years in my life, to free myself from my past and to finally be able to be myself. The last one occured in 2017 and brought total destruction in the area of my personal relationships, especially with “friends”.

I had to realize that I still had people around that tried to dominate, control and feed off me, just they´ve been more subtil meanwhile. When I refused to feed these behaviour patterns, they tried to give me a hard time, but all it did was to open my eyes. And I did. Plus I opened my heart for myself and I opened my arms to embrace life. The funny thing was that when I felt inside of me I just felt free, although my whole area of relationships went down, down, down, all at once. I looked around and instead of feeling beaten up, I felt happy and free. For the first time in my life I had plenty of time and energy for myself. I lived in a kind of vacuum, just me with me. And one day I suddenly opened my mouth and a melody just came out of me and I literally sang “I am free, I am free, I am free to be me. I am free, I am free, I am free just to be.”

Since then everything changed for me. I am open for everyone, but at the same time I became very choosy and picky whom to give something of my precious time and attention. Everyone can do and be whatever s/he chooses, but not everyone is a match to the energies I want  to express. It’s as simple as that.

When we “loose” something we often think we did something wrong, while it is a sign we did something right. We started growing and our old life is no more fitting. Let go and welcome what comes next.

I express this freedom in all areas of life. Whatever comes my way I feel inside, how it feels to me, if I want to interact, engage, how to react in alignment with my true being. I am a very tender, loving person. But free to be me means to also stand my ground and to not give in to games others play in their life. Free to be me means to play all melodies from klassic to rock, as a perfect dance in alignment with my own being. I always find happyness, love, fun, wisdom, in every situation, no matter what comes my way.

We shall never ever corrupt ourselves, to please someone else. Feel inside what is your own song, vibe, melody? What makes your own heart´n soul sing, dance, jump for joy? And then just do it.

If you could need a bit assistance with your own energetic clean-up, than join me and my lovely coworkers the 4th of march 2018 on edudip. If you can not make it at the given time and date, the replay will also work for you.

We are three Masterhealers, co-working on the quantum-level for these webinars, and combining our skills we move mountains out of the way, when you give intend to really be free.

Shine your light beautiful Soul!

 

Outstanding

You cannot strive for enlightenment by following someone else’s path. You cannot become a Master by commanding and controlling others. You´ve gotta master yourself, by unbecoming all that you are not. This might take endlessly or happen in an instant. It doesn’t matter, just follow your path and let go with ease and grace.

All my life I was a living contradiction. On one hand I could relate to almost everybody, on the other hand I never fitted in. I enjoy diversity, I love to learn and to connect with people, I’m able to see what’s special about them, that’s why it is totally easy for me to connect with people. And people feel that, they feel at home and safe next to me. I literally see them and I love them for their true self. But when they are not in contact with their true self, they try to make me one, the same. And I am not and will never be. My oneness is that of the ocean, being one with all the water, loving every drop as an expression of this amazing beauty, so why would you try to limit and control him, if you can just enjoy him?

Groups have been especially difficult for me, as I could relate, but never could be assimilated by a group, as they are too limiting for me. I see through the group-dynamics of manipulation, regulations, control and energy-feeding. People entering a meditation class to than repeat all their life this one form of meditation, meeting every tuesday evening for decades of their life. Why? To belong, to feel special. But in truth they sacrifice all that is special about them, to be accepted in a prison of sorts. I enter, learn the technic, go and keep a few friends or not and integrate the teaching into my huge tool box. The same goes with everything. I love to widen my horizon, but do not build up attachment. Why would I imprison myself in such a way?

Well, it turned out that all that seemed to be difficult, is just perfect. The areas of our life that had the most obstacles are the ones where our mastery will show up first. All that never seemed to work, was never supposed to work.

I am a carrier of the new energy, how should I have functioned very well in the old? I´ve got the ability to bring together very different people and hold an energetic space for them, where they can reconnect with their true self. And I am working with groups now, never doing the limiting stupid stuff others did with groups. I will not lead them, I will not master them, I inspire them to become their own sovereign self. And this sovereign self is exactly what I described, able to relate with everybody, one with the ocean of life, connected with everything while free and untamed.

And guess what? Now I find the ones that are different, but of the same kind. Souvereign. And we work together as free creators, without any obligations or attachments. My ability to hold the space fits perfectly with their skills. We encourage each other to be the best version of ourselves, but no one owes anything to anyone. There’s no competition, no jealousy, no contracts, no pressure, only love, joy, sharing, inspiration, love, laughter and grace.

Now I know why I never fitted in, I was never meant to be limited, because I’m just outstanding. And I know why I can relate to everyone, it´s because I can sense their sovereign being, their eternal self. I know now, that I have tried all my life to encourage people to bring this forth, I tried to show them how to be outstanding, while they tried to make me fit in. And the moment when I myself stopped trying to fit in, to be understood or accepted, but allowed myself to be outstanding was when my life changed. This is what I came for.

And all of my obstacles have been just perfect, because they trained me for my mission. I´m the one, to assist you to remember who you truly are. But I can not do it for you nor would I! Please only enter my life, when you are willing to be outstanding too. Being outstanding has nothing to do with a pumped up ego, out of lack of self-worth. A Master is humble and grandiose at once. He´s a living contradiction. He enjoys water as if it´s champagne. It’s the abundance of your true being, as an equal with others, out of self-awareness, as a sovereign self.

Do not follow me, but get inspired by me to ignite your own fire, to shine your own light <3

 

Credits to Manuela Grotz, she created the picture for my first book. It shows a modern version of the three weaver.

 

Free Rose Touch Session – The ChristmasBirthday Party

This is a recording of a free session I gave while still connected with the energies of the last Monthly Rose Touch on January 7th 2018.

Topics that came up while the session are: Honoring the gift, that we are bringing in with our incarnation, making connection with the divine feminine and masculine principle to melt them together inside of us. And then there’s been a bridge formed to bring in the divine Lovelight and entering the cells of your body. Talk to your cells, have a divine party inside of you. You´re the vessel of all these beautiful energies, uniting within you.

https://youtu.be/V8HMyLrh8yI

 

Tune in and InJoy dear Ones  <3

Distractions

People are constantly under the influence of distractions. Their mind is held busy all day long. When we are not working, we care for a thousand obligations and as we are so stressed out, we use TV and Social Media to “relax” in our free time. Every single minute we are distracted and stay therefore away from all that has real meaning to us.

Often we don´t even know what has real meaning to us. What might that be? We can only find out, when we walk our own path, instead of following the distractions.

This goes for  the individual as also for the collective. Why do distractions occur at all? To lead us astray. I´ve got to confess that I got a few times quite distracted in my life. So I really understand how something or someone can catch our attention.

In 2015 I have searched for advise for my Souls Path, as the message to follow my path as a healer has shown up again and again at that time. I spoke to Kahuna Kaleiiliahi about this important topic. She agreed that it is indeed my purpose to heal and teach others and that it has been the reason why I went through all of my experiences and hardships. And than she told me to be careful, as relationships, especially romantic ones, had been a huge distractor in my life, trying to hold me back. That I shall not allow a need for companionship or love to lead me astray from my own calling. It´s been a wise advise that helped me a lot along my journey.

What you give attention to, you feed energetically. I´ve got a lot of spiritual energy and the ability to focus. That´s why I´ve been really yumy for all energetic vampires. As I know this weakpoint now, they are never allowed very long in my field, as my energies are needed for my own journey, that will co-create with many on their path, instead of feeding a few.

I am sure this fits for many. Some get distracted by their relationships, others by media, their jobs, all kinds of unnecessary obligations and “important” demands. But take a closer look. Is it our life purpose to argue with others about the tweets and headlines of distractors? Attention is energy. That´s why we will see a lot of stuff in the media, trying to harvest humanities energies, while we fail at the same time to go for our real goales.

Please go for the real gold, not for the shiny glitter.

And don´t get me wrong. It´s not that “doing nothing” or just having fun on Facebook is wrong. You might find me watch the starlight for hours or I post pictures of puppies in my timeline. Sometimes being not productive is not a distraction, but gives space for healing or it is just for fun. Fun is always in tune with our souls mission. We are joyful, adventurous beings. What I mean with distractions is about “getting hooked in” and loosing us, about feeding the dying old earth energies instead of building the new, the one we came for.

Follow your own dreams. Even when we might have to purify them, they are still serving our own purpose. For example: I used to dream of writing a bestseller. Along my path I found out, that I just want to write, no matter the circumstances, as being a writer is my nature. The dream of success has been a distraction, as I wanted to prove my worth at that time. As I can stay now with my true self, I do not need distractions any longer. Cause that´s the reason behind allowing the distractions. Fear of being present with the own true being. Don´t.

There´s nothing more beautiful than your true self. Shine your light.

 

 

When you love yourself you become free

Today its been four years ago, that I decided to “love, honor and respect myself”. I married myself and started a journey to integrate all of my aspects and to create peace within. I acted spontaneously, because I had enough from the distorted games between men and woman. I understood that searching for fulfillment through someone else was madness. I had always taken other people way too serious and that made me vulnerable and undermined my self-worth. Others had been able to fool, manipulate or dominate me…in the name of love. I realized that to “need” another being to be happy, was pure madness. It´s been normal, everybody played these distorted games, but that didn´t mean that their normal was healthy for me.

To “marry myself” not only changed my point of view on partnering, but on all kind of relationships. I hereby freed myself and those around me. I started to accept myself more and more, to bring back my own aspects and I started to live the only eternal lovestory we all experience, the one with my divine core, my essence, my soul self.

When we need “the other” to be our fairy tale, s/he has to behave as we wish and expect them. That´s not love, that is slavery. You are the one to make yourself happy, to fulfill your dreams. To love ourselves is the end of all excuses. If we are not happy it is because of us, not because of someone else.

Most of my relationships of all kinds became much better the last four years. As I do not need others, I can really enjoy being with them. I love to co-operate with others, to exchange wisdom, points of view,  experiences…or to just be with them, to enjoy our being together. That doesn´t even need a reason at all.

Of course there are still people I do not get along with very well, but I just let them be. Everyone is as free as I am. The only real trouble I experience once in a while is with needy people. They will try to hold me accountable for all they do not create themselves in their lifes. As they are no sovereigns, they will try all: domination, manipulation, lies, demands, blame, shame, guilt, scapegoating, projection, denial and revenge. And they find a thousand reasons why I have to be, do and act as they want me to.  But it all comes to one point: They need slaves to fulfill their needs, as they do not dare to be sovereigns and to take responsibility for their own being.

Please do, as to love, honor and respect yourself will free you <3

Full Moon conjunct with Pluto: Overcoming fear

This weekends Full Moon is in conjunct with Pluto in Capricorn. And Sun and Mars are in the opposite sign of Cancer. What does that mean? It says it is the perfect timequality to face and transmute your fears. Look at your obstacles. And Jupiter in Libra might make the issues become huge, as Jupiter is blowing up everything he touches. This is a T-Square formed to announce that now is the time for shadow-work. Taking back the own power and not allow outer circumstances to keep us away from our true path.

To be able to overcome your fears you have to look them in the eye. Feel their message. Understand that you created that obstacle to train your strenght. It is not your enemie, but your sparrings-partner, training you to become really strong. As this happens in Capricorn and Cancer this has to do with safety, with the structures in our lifes. An eggshell is protecting the growing life, a little bird for example. Until it is outgrown this structure, than it has to crack the shell open to escape the prison the egg has become now. And when the bird tries to crack the egg open it might seem the shell is preventing him from flying. But no, it protected him and now it resistance makes sure the bird will be strong enough to fly into his new life.

The Full-Moon happens at this weekend, but it is highlighting an issue that we have been dealing with for quite a while now and it´ll not be over after the weekend. The weekend but will show you crystal clear what you do want. Well maybe by pointing out what you don´t want. But that´s fine also. Learn about your true calling.

It depends on the energies in your own chart, to see which areas of your life are adressed. People with personal planets from 15 to 19 degrees in the signs of Capricorn, Cancer, Libra and Aries might feel it the most. In my own case the T-Square is even a grand-cross, as this Full Moon conjunct Pluto is happening directly over my 12th house Sun, squaring Saturn in my 2nd house. Well, my Pisces-Venus that is sandwiched in between Sun and Saturn joins that Party also. So believe me, I know how this time-quality feels like. But I also know that it is a huge rebirthing process. Nothing is working against us. Do not resist but use these extrem forces, that are out there at the moment, to get out of the old egg-shell.

Here are some helpfull questions to make it easier: What is it, that you fear? What is holding you back? You know that you have to let go of all details in your life anyway?! Why not let them go by your own decission, going with the flow – instead of being forced by outer circumstances? What is it, that your heart truly, truly desires? Find out and learn to fly!

Receiving the Monthly Rose Touch myself

Yesterdays Monthly Rose Touch-Session had so beautiful energies in it. I felt really happy, light and joyful, when the energies where transmitting. And I was sweating really hard, as so much energies came through, it was really an intense experience.

As always, I´d love to hear about experiences from participants, if they feel like sharing, cause I am learning myself every session. But you all felt great from my perspecive 😉

Yesterday the session had overlenght and at the end I received the RoseTouch myself, what is not always the case. The reason why I am sharing my own experience is, that by sharing we are learning and gaining greater understanding.

Being a healer doesn´t spare us ailments and hardship. Just the opposite. Many of us went through tough times as a prepation for our calling. It is important to understand that our ailments aren´t the real problem. They are no punishment and they do not show up to make us suffer. They show up, as a call to release the suffering and pain, that already exists. There is already an imbalance and the ailment brings it into awareness. And very often we incarnate into a family that has that issue since a long time.

I have had a difficult month, as really traumatic suppressed childhood memories showed up. And it´s not only been this memories I had to deal with, but it changed the perspective on my whole life, what felt like totally loosing ground. And that had an impact on my physical body as well, that reacted with all kinds of stuff. I am a healer of hearts, I know not much about physical illnesses. But I experienced again and again that physical ailments have a root in energetic imbalance and therefore healing the emotions, bringing in awareness, changes the body often also.

When remembering the sexual abuse in an already totally disturbing childhood it was literally a shock to my whole system. I really have to thank my daughter, as she recognized the shock and provided first-aid. I learned from that, that nothing is more important after a shocking experience, than to give a safe space where one can process the experience. I didn´t have a safe space in childhood, therefore the shock was frozen (trauma is out of my point of view a frozen state, a time-trap). When it now showed up, there was first the same experience to not have a safe space to process, until my daughter recognized that and helped me.

And I´ve gotta say that in the beginning I really wondered if I would be able to continue my work as a healer without any impact, cause I went through flashbacks and a lot of physical stuff, that´s been typical for trauma. But when I felt inside, the Rose always sended calm, loving signals, so I tried to just relax and trust.

I had a really hard moment when I remembered how my abuser, who died 1981, had contacted me arround 2009/2010. Well, dead people have never been dead to me, but normally I met them in my dream-state at night. His way to contact me was unusual, first showing his presence with inner pictures and than coming through, while I was chatting with a clearvoyant friend in another town. She saw and heared exactly the same I did. I saw it and she typed it. And today I know why she witnessed it. She was the perfect energetic match. Well, when he came through he had a personal message for my mother. In the end, he told me he´s sorry and showed me a Rose and golden Light. I will never forget this experience, because I felt the loving energies of the Rose, what is unforgettable. Just I didn´t understand the Rose he gave me, cause it would take 7 years before I´d experience it again, to than embody it myself. At that time I had accepted his appologize, but now I had to understand what he was really sorry for. I will not go into any details, but it´s been really traumatic. He´s been an alcoholic and I´ve been living alone with him. And than he was the one to show me the Rose-Energy? Hard to  process.

Well, there is always a bigger plan. After my journey to Israel 2015 I had contacted Kahuna Kalei, as I was so often told about my mission while that journey and I could feel it, but didn´t know how to bring it into my life. She told me to do Inner Child Work and that I had chosen this lifepath by intend, to show and teach what I learned. She also said, I had experienced so much sadness in my life out of contrast, as I wanted to bring my true essence, joy, here. She told me my childhood was a preparation for my calling. Just, at that time I didn´t know that it had been worse than I already knew.

So when I went up yesterday morning I was a bit unsure how the first group session would work out. Could I hold the energies as always? Well, yes, I could. And I received extralessons and teachings. I went out in nature, as always when preparing for the group session. The energies where building up beautifully and the picture above was taken under an apple tree. I ended my walk at a place with Rosebushes and benches, that is nearby my home. I sat at one of the benches, recognizing arround another bench there was dirt and broken beerbottles on the ground. I thought how strange it is that people come to such a lovely place to than create such a mess. Well, I looked at the Roses and felt the beautiful energies building up, when a young man came along with a sixpack. He chose the bench where all the dirt was, sat down, opened a bottle and dropped the bottle cap on the ground. I felt a bit uncomfortable as his energy really didn´t fit with the Rose and I always make sure to not interrupt the process of the building up energies. Well, plus I still felt kind of vulnerable, because of my childhood memories with the alcoholic. I felt inside, what to do and received the answer to stay and focus on the Roses, maybe to stand up and take a few pictures for Facebook. I felt better, when I moved arround to find the right angle to make a nice snapshot. Suddenly I recognized a strange movement from the bench with the beer-drinker. As if he would stoop down and hide behind a column. Weird. As he didn´t come closer, I kept on taking pictures of nicely blooming roses. The guy stood up, went to a trash-can to put the empty bottle there and than went away. As I´ve been in a totally other mood, it took me a while until I realized that he had thought, I might take pictures of him and he might get a bill from the municipal for cleaning-up all the mess arround the bench. Same situation, two people, totally other reality. Gorgeous lesson!

Than the Rose started talking, saying she ´s got a message for all victims of abuse or violence of any kind: “The experience is temporary, the villain in a suffering, very unconscious state. Do not join him there. Focus on your Inner Rosegarden, your true core. It stays whole, untouched and pure – always.”

I went home very happy. And later, when the transmission took place I felt so much love, joy and fun. Very high, light vibrations flooding through me to the participants. I was very glad that my memories didn´t create a blockage or anything like that, so I´ll be able to keep on with this beautiful work. At the end of the session, that had overlenght yesterday, I´ve been told to lay my left hand on my solarplexus and the right hand on my sacral-chakra, where I had the most trouble with, and I received the Rosetouch myself. Than the Rose gave me teachings, saying that even the drunken guy felt his behaviour was  not appropriate, when a much higher energy was present. She said the bad boys do not want to be exposed, because they fear punishment, but also because when they are exposed they would have to face their own behaviour and make the unconscious conscious, what they do not want. She than told me it´ll be part of my work in the future to help those woman that want to leave their trauma behind. They have to feel safe and empowered, to leave the victim mentality and build up their lifes out of a state of strenght.

The Rose is bringing to everyone what s/he needs to reconnect with their divine blueprint. Everyone has therefore a very unique experience. Sharing those is perfect, so not everyone has to make the same.

So, these are my insights:

  • We all need sometimes help.
  • The evolvement never stops.
  • All is conspiring in our favour, when we allow it.
  • We choose our frequency and the frequency chooses the perception of a situation.
  • Noone is condemned. No villian will be punished. They even try to help, when they finally really understand what they did.
  • Do not join the perpetrator in his vibration.
  • There is a masterplan at work, to turn even the worst into a blessing.
  • Love is the ultimate Masterhealer.

Thank you to everyone, walking this path and shining the light!

The new New Age – Beyond black´n white

I never fitted in. The “normal” society thinks me to be really weird, although they know not more of my real life, as that I am using alternative medicine and that I meditate. That´s already strange enough for them, but that´s just as much as they can accept. They do not know that I´m working as an energetic healer, as their perception is limited and metaphysics is for them fantasy or deception. Well, when my new book is coming out in a few month, they´ll know it. Might cost me the job that is paying my rent, what feels quite uncomfortable to be honest. But I´ve gotta be me, no matter who likes it or not.

Well, I´ve also never fitted into the New Age Community. I´ve been drinking coffee long before Lee Carroll and Geoffrey Hoppe made that acceptable. I´m wearing black very often, and often with intense colors on it, as black makes them even more shiny, I love that. I´ve been criticized  so often by the ones believing that wearing white would make them purer and better than me. For sure they need to be. Well, Paulo Coelho and Gregg Braden do also prefer black mostly, but noone would criticize them, cause they are famous. Others gossiped because of my overweight and the holy ones may be even more malicious as the normal folks. I´ve recognized it and could love them anyway, cause I know about their low self-worth, that needs to feel better than others. The New Age community often had just chosen other boxes, but until now not so many did really leave them behind.

Whenever I met those of ancient traditions, they never criticised my clothes or my overweight. The Shamans that crossed my path, whatever color they´ve been wearing,  spotted me in the biggest crowd, looked me in the eyes, smiled and nodded while passing by or layed their hand on the heart and bowed. They do not need to be right or better, they know their own I AM, so they can with ease honor mine.

I do also not fit in spiritual groups, as I enjoy the teachings, but sooner or later I will mirror the oppressed shadow of the guru aka teacher, and who wants to see and transmute that? I´ve been an invitation to be whole, instead of playing holy, but they normally chose other and that´s fine for me now. It used to make me feel lonely. But I found out that I´m in good company when being with me and that I will not pay the prize to sell myself, just to be accepted in someone elses box. I´m living in a city near the frontiers to france and switzerland and that mirrors my being, as I´ve always loved diversity. I´ve danced to “Highway to hell” so wild and joyful every devil would´ve felt his forgotten heart and I prayed for the peace of this world with the devotion of an angel and to me that´s not been a polarity, but life unfolding naturally.

I didn´t fit in, cause I represented the shadow, the very thing that society oppressed. The unwanted. But the treasure is in the shadow, as this is what makes us whole again. The normal society suppressed the magic of life. And the wanna-be-holies they´ve suppressed all they assumed as “not holy”, as its been too profane for their holy butts, producing only unicorn-poo.

I do not want to fit in anywhere no more, I came to go beyond it. I am the one knowing that all is holy. The dirt of the earth is divine, a Rocksong may be disturbing, or express the joy to be alive…it´s up to you, what you do with it. I´m going beyond black´n white. I´m the new New Age, as beloved Suzana named it yesterday in one of her many genius moments.

The new New Age is inclusive. It´s not denying the magic and it doesn´t wanna escape in Ivory Towers. I was 20 years old, when I stated: “Going into the Himalaja and getting enlightened is easy. Do it in everydays life, that´s a bit more challenging.” We didn´t come to escape this earth. We wanted to change her, through us. Not by building new boxes.

The wind that is playing with my hair, the sun kissing my rosy cheeks, the child coming along and exchanging smiles with me, the cat on the street, the coffee in my cup, my huge buddha-belly, the bird in the tree and the drunk homeless, they are all holy. Nothing of it is less, as all has the divine in it, otherwise it wouldn´t exist.

The new New Age goes beyond black´n white…it is colorful, just like life itself. I did not write this article to offend anyone, I´ve just expressed myself. I do not need likes, I do not need followers and I do not need approval. But I´ve gotta be me, in all my perfect imperfection. The ones that are my tribe understand that, the rest may do whatever pleases them, they are just as free as I am, shining my light and enjoying theirs.