Tag: pain

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The danger of opening the heart

I just came across someone stating that “opening the heart can be dangerous”. I know many people believe the same and of course a broken heart is the main reason why people search my advise and healing skills. Well,…what is indeed dangerous are people that don´t dare opening their heart. If you look around in the world you will recognize it´s the ones that do not dare to love whom are causing the trouble. Obviously they create pain for others, but on the long run also for themselves. And when we allow it, pain is infectious.

What people mean when they say they fear to open their heart is, that they do not trust in their own abilities. The abilities to make wise decisions, to have integrity, decisiveness…and when all of the above fails: in their ability to recover.

The benefit of an often broken heart is that you´ll discover that you are invincible.

Truth is that when you are a loving kind person, you’ll attract lots of nice people, but between them will be a few that take your open heart for weakness and try to take advantage of it. Happened a million times to me…until I realized nothing ever happened to me. I am happy, alive and thriving, while a lot of those people trying to fool and hurt me are miserable, unhappy or already dead. The old ways don’t work anymore. The light is winning and to enter the team one has to open the heart. There’s no other way to thrive in the new energies.

What happens when an open heart meets a closed one? Truth is that I prefer loving kind people, but in the end all is serving me, that is coming my way. And I have found my strength and integrity when I dared to love myself and others. There´s a saying:”What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” Well even when it killed me, it made me not only stronger, but also wiser. I know I can handle everything and still love deeply.

Because I love deeply, I can handle everything. That´s what you´ll find out, when you dare it.

Hurt people hurt people. When you close your heart you´ll add to the problem. When you open your heart you become a living so(u)lution.

Shine your light, dear One <3

 

#metoo The stages of pain, denial and healing

I am one of many women who postet #metoo. The Weinstein-Exposure startet a discussion that comes very late, as the affected have been left alone for so long. But it is a little miracle in itself, that the topic finally entered the collective stage. The hashtag #metoo is already 10 years old, but time wasn´t ripe before…and the names maybe not famous enough.

I wrote a few month ago about my own suppressed trauma from childhood, that suddenly showed up after 40 years. It showed up, when I asked my higher self why I still attracted abusive people after all the healing work I did. The answer was a shock. I asked myself why my consciousness didn´t let it out earlier, as there´s been already quite some other incidences later in my life that I´ve been conscious of. The answer is that what happened to me as a 8 year old, was just too horrible and the remembered episode has been the only one where I was awake, as for some reason the barbiturate wasn´t working that day. It happened over years and normally I was drugged and used and thrown away like a doll, seemingly even selled to others. The whole story showed up in layers to be integrated. My own consciousness is just a mirror of the collective, that denied what it couldn´t deal with. And the collective denial continues and will be unveiled in layers.

The reason why there´s so much dispute in the discussion, are the different stages of processing the involved persons are representing at the moment, as expressions of the collective.

When Pain starts to talk to Denial, there´s no way they can have a proper conversation, not to mention a connection that brings healing.

Out of own experience I want to encourage Pain to express the stages of pain, rage, sadness and whatever it might be you feel. To feel it is needed for the proper integration. Feel it fully, express it…and than give love to yourself. Comfort yourself. Be proud that you were brave enough to express yourself. It is important to value all stages of processing, as only this can bring healing. That goes for the individual as for the collective.

I experienced myself, as a child and this year again, how it feels to be left alone. Or how people even use it against you, to pump up their self-worth and make you “less than”. Yes, this is painful, but I welcomed the clean-up in my life anyway. Maybe you can also try to get a point of view that helps you instead of hurts you.

In later phases, when there´s already peace in the system, there might occur a greater picture. Facts like that the ones that are in denial have not been brave enough to face the topic themselves, to literally step in your shoes. There are many reasons why people deny pain. They might have been victims themselves, they might have been perpetrators, but in both cases they can not deal with the pain. Sometimes they went from victim to perpetrator. It´s a well-known fact that this happens very often. For some reason they don´t have the courage until now to deal with it. And you can not force people to face their shadows, without becoming somehow assaulting yourself. Do not enter the destruction and distraction circle.

Over the last month I learned much about cowardish behaviour. Funny enough the “spiritual” community is the best…in creating forms of denial. And it´s making sense. Most people in the spiritual community still want to be “better than” or somehow special, totally unaware that they are the best when they are just themselves and drop all of that special advanced BS. People just have to be “better than” when they didn´t learn to love themselves and others fully.

The second reason was spoken out loud in Basel from Teal Swan on stage. She said, that most of the spiritual stuff is Novocain, a painkiller. Doesn´t heal anything, just makes people run from one event, book, teacher to the next, to get their shot of release. I couldn´t agree more, been there, done that …until I realized it. Well the second reason has much to to with the first reason, as the biggest pain is the lack of self-worth.

So please, when you have to process pain search for help and stay away from people that are still in stages of denial. Do not waste your time and energy with a fight against other peoples shadows. Use all your energy to face and heal your own shadows. Do also not search for revenge. The best revenge is to be a healed, happy and free being. Go for it. I am by your side and many good men and women are too.

Sending my love and compassion to every one <3

Make sure that nothing harms you, even if it did harm you

Yesterday I´ve been speaking with someone about painful experiences in my childhood. When I recognized she was feeling bad, just out of her beautiful ability to have empathy, I immediately told her to please change her point of view. That I wouldn´t be the person I am without these experiences. And that it is really not an easy path, but that it made me compassionate, strong and independent, so all is well. Make sure that this goes also for you. Make the bad stuff strenghten you, so you will thrive, no matter what.

The hard thing about being abused as a child was that I still attracted abusive people. The hard thing about having a covert narcissist as a mother was the energetic imprint, that would attract people, pretending to be loving and kind…that would than turn out to be covert narcissists. And that they are even existing in the spiritual community. But makes sense of course, it´s way too yummy for the wolfs to not go where their supply hangs around. And as Matt Kahn once said, there´s nothing worse than a spiritual narcissist.

All of these experiences are just painful, as long as we allow them to hurt us, without getting the benefit out of it.

I don´t know how you see it, but one thing that did hurt me was a feeling of imbalance and the idea of “that´s not  right that they get away with it and maybe even harm more people”. Well, drop it, actually they don´t. Noone escapes him-/herself on the long run. Noone is seeding without reaping, but it´s none of your business. Just take care of your own seeding and harvest. If you would stay in pain and misery, the Law of Attraction had to bring more pain and misery. Choose something better instead. Cause you can bring in balance for you, and you are only responsible for you, when you bring in a benefit to balance the harm.

An example: Someone told me a story, to get my attention, time, money. Although I felt something was weird I gave them what they wanted. Should I feel hurt when I recognized they tried to use me? Or instead say: I paid for the lesson to next time listen to my inner voice and to learn to say “no” ?! I chose the last point of view. When the same scenario happened to me lately the other got my “no” and than tried to manipulate me, accuse me, said mean things to bring me down. Didn´t hurt me at all. He showed his true colors, not mine. I laughed my ass off. Nice try.

A lesson learned doesn´t really hurt any more. There might be an echo, like a story from a pastlife, but not more.

But do not deny your own feelings of anger or pain. They have a message for you, they show you something that is not the truth of your soul. Just do not  linger in these feelings, when they have delivered their message. Anger for example might carry the message: “I am not a victim!” or “I want this situation changed!” And that is true, but there´s no need to harm someone else to prove that point. Use your anger, that is compressed energy, and let it unfold in something constructive. Clean your house or run a mile or two. Compressed energy is like fuel, use it to move forward and do not lit a candle, because you are a lightworker, and make it finally all explode 😉

There´s always something beautiful we can find even in our darkest experiences. Having made so many experiences with abusive people crossing my borders and not respecting my free will, made sure I am very careful when working with other people to make sure to respect their free will and serve them in the best possible way. My abilities of tuning into others energy field could be very easily misused and I met those, that misuse their own abilities to get what they want. And it´s the reason why some people, that are hungry for power, wanted me in their team. Just it didn´t work, as even the best masks fall one day and than the game´s over. I search only the power over myself. That´s more than enough to master. Instead of overtaking others, I assist them to be whatever they choose. And that really rocks!

My empathy makes sure, that I couldn´t harm someone without harming myself. And we all do harm us when we harm others, just an empath feels it immediately, while a narcissistic personality might never realize she did cause it all herself.

Oh, by the way, to give you a practical hint: Covert narcissists are really sneaky and often pretend to be empaths, too. Well, they might be very good actors, but only concerned when it comes to their own feelings. You can hurt them with laughable things like not having given them a like on Facebook or not having given them a call the last week. But they are really only sensitive when it´s about them. They never ever think compassionate about someone else or about the harm they are creating in other peoples lifes. They give a shit when it comes to other peoples feelings…and if you are an empath you have to learn to be a bit more like them. Just 1% to be able to kickass if needed. I never thought this would be what I´d learn in between lightworkers, but funny enough that´s been one of my most important lessons.

Become an alchemist of the soul and find something that serves you in every experience. A lot of my work as a Soulutioner is about this, to assist my clients to find the point of view that helps them to move ahead. When you find the benefit in a situation, you suddenly feel a positive feeling like clarity, freedom or peace. That´s your indicator, that you made it. What you feel is the energy of balance, that is regained. You need no excuse of the other to find peace, balance, healing. It is all taking place inside of you. That´s an important step for mankind to realize you can move on, no matter what the other is doing or not. You do not need someone to say sorry, to be healed. You hold your own power to find balance, healing, harmony.

It needs two to make war, it needs one to be at peace.

May this article help you, may you thrive and shine your light <3

Photo: Flowering shadow 😉

The EmPath: Why we can not carry someone elses cross

My own shadow-aspect has been very much entangled with my empathic abilities and my love for humanity. As I can feel others imbalance and pain, I often tried to help them, out of a misunderstood longing for harmony and love. I want all people to be happy and joyful. Therefore I took their stuff onto me very often. Or allowed them to project their issues onto me. But it´s never been working out, as we can not carry others burdens and can not spare them their lessons, which they need to learn themselves.

Sometimes I see that others are not ready for their lesson and therefore stay silent when I should speak up. I know the other can not, or doesn´t want to, make the next step. As all resistance is causing pain, I see how the outcome will hurt them, so I tried to stay silent and help them carry their stuff. But truth can not be held back and being a martyr for love helps noone. When we carry other peoples cross, they do not evolve. And sooner or later the moment always came, when I realized my unhealthy behaviour and claimed they might take back their burden. Well, they´ve never been thankful, but instead blaming me for hurting them and accused me to create their cross. So whom did I help on the long run?

I had to realize that in most cases I agreed to help people that have almost no empathy and therefore compassion at all. As the empath is representing one extreme side of a dualistic game, he attracts the other extreme, people that have narcissistic tendencies. They want others to take the hardship onto them, while they might use the high-horse. We serve noone as long as we do that and agree to play this game of duality. They need their own cross to evolve and we, as the empaths, should care for our own stuff and make ourselves happy, not others. No matter if you are more on the empathic or narcissistic side of the equation, both have the same lesson to learn: self-love.

Noone can do that for us. So love yourself. No matter who you are or where you are on your path, love is the only question, option and answer.

 

Vulnerability isn´t the problem

We are afraid of our vulnerability, but it is not the vulnerability that is the problem. Our fear is the problem.

The earthworm is seemingly very vulnerable…but in fact he has an enormous ability for regeneration and he´s an important co-worker with mother earth. So tell me what is wrong about vulnerability? It is in fact an important ability to change, expand, create.

All is vulnerable. Even very strong, hard structures change. Last week the “Azur Window” a very beautiful limestone natural arch on Gozo has been destroyed. It´s been literally gone with the wind, as a storm made it crumble. It made me sad when I heared about the destruction, but I´m happy that I´ve visited it while a stay in 2014 and it is a  reminder that no form will stay the same forever.  We are supposed to change, we are supposed to be vulnerable. And in fact our fear that wants to prevent us from change is way more destructive than any vulnerability will ever be.

Love your ability to change. Yes, sometimes it is painful, but the pain is not caused by the vulnerability. Pain arises out of the resistance. I´ve learned that lesson when I gave birth to my daughter. When I stopped fighting, the rest was easy and light. Literally. I experienced it at an emotional level again and again myself and when I witnessed others in their processes. When we surrender and go with the flow, the pain fades away.  The lifeforces that create through change are stronger than any resistance will ever be. So let go and enjoy change and creation.

Shine your light!

 

Don´t allow others to contaminate your temple

Insights & PerspectivesPosted by Natalie Wed, November 23, 2016 15:26:00
Something that catched my attention lately

a) because I had health-issues myself
b) I examined others health-issues in sessions

is the fact that an emotional wound can cause quite painful physical experiences also.

As this has been the planet of madness for a long time, we all experienced quite unpleasant things. And when you experienced painful encounters maybe very intensely, or maybe very often plus you may have a genetic disposition in your family, as this is an old issue from your ancestors, you might literally get sick from someone elses mean actions and words towards you.

Seems to be very injustice, that these persons can do you harm. Yes and no.
See, hurt people hurt people. They did you wrong, cause they themselves are living in a kind of hell. And you, somehow, let them into the temple, that is your bodysystem.
When we are lightworkers, maybe very empathic, open, loving and want to help others, we might be too open for all kinds of influences.

If we see our body as the temple for our holy soul, we first have to clean him. If you´ve got an health issue you may travel to this part of your body, examine the issue and talk to your body. This is your body, cooperate with him.

We have to embody our body fully. The more we bring the light into the body, the more we unite body and soul. Than this body becomes our temple.
Others are very welcome to this temple – when they come with love and respect.

Imagine you´d be a priest/ess in a holy temple. For sure that´s easy to imagine. Most of us have been in other lifetimes. How would you welcome someone to the temple? Very open and loving. And when they don´t behave? What if they come in drunk, making noise, bringing in dirt, yell at the priest/ess, try to sell their stuff?

Well, you will remind them where they are, tell them that you like to have them here, but that this is a holy place. If they don´t listen? You tell them to leave. If they still don´t behave? Kick them out!

People are at very different points in their journey. You won´t reach everyone with nice words (but much more than one might imagine). But some are just looking for trouble, some are just full of poison and hatred. They need to play that out before they are ready for the next step. Well they don´t have to act it out in your life, having an impact on your body. Don´t allow it.

Be open like a membran – with semipermiability, letting the wanted stuff in and the unwanted out. We´ve got to learn that ablity.

Well sometimes stuff that hurts us is coming from people that are very close and dear to us, the closer they are the bigger might be the impact on our emotional and physical body. As described above it might help to talk to yourself, to find out what is the issue and to heal it.

Make yourself aware, that the one trying to attac you did so because s/he has been forgetful in that moment. We all are once in a while. If they are very often forgetful, remind you that you are the temple and don´t let them. Everyone that is hateful, angry, rejecting or tries to bring you down in any form, feels this way about him/herself. It is true that they are doing that literally to themselves. Imagine in what a hell they might live. Well, and than decide to not share that hell, cause that won´t help them, but injure you. Instead bringing in awareness that you are the sacred temple and keep your temple clean.

Shine your light!

No more abandonment and rejection

Insights & PerspectivesPosted by Natalie Sun, October 30, 2016 07:04:06

Abandonment is an issue many of us had to deal with and it had been my own core-wound. As I know how painful it may be, I am dedicating this little article to all that are experiencing abandonment and rejection in any form. Know that you are dearly loved – always!

First of all we´ve got to make clear that another person might be abandoning you, but it is the own interpretation of not being wanted and accepted, that is bringing up feelings like unworthiness, depression, grief and heartbreak. Your own feelings about the actions of the other person are harming you.

Seen from a higher perspective these experiences and feelings will lead you to their opposite, to fulfillment, joy and unconditional love. And it is not „the other,“ but you owning the key for this paradise.

See, it is the human self of the other involved person, that is acting this way. When we take a closer look, s/he isn´t abandoning you, but the feeling within themselves that you are representing for them. And no, this feeling has in most cases nothing to do with who you really are, but how they percieve you and the situation.

If there ever existed an unwanted child it´s been me. Until this very day my mother can´t stand my face, voice or presence in any form. The reason for that has nothing to do with my true self and not even with my human persona. One of her reasons is guilt. For her this guilt is an inner reality and she doesn´t want to look at it. With every act of denial and rejection her guilt is even growing, but all of that has nothing to do with who I am. I don´t even believe something like guilt is existing. I wrote a whole chapter about it in my last book. Responsibility is a truth, but guilt isn´t real. But to my mother her inner feeling is reality, while I could stand next to her filled with love´n light, but that won´t change her perception and actions. As I found out, my inner light made it even more uncomfortable for her to be with me than it used to be while I accepted my role in this drama.

I describe this to make it obvious that it is not you being rejected or abandoned, it is the other person, cutting herself off from their feeling, that they for some reason associate with you. It has normally nothing to do with you at all. Read it again and understand it. It is not your faulth!

You wouldn´t feel abandoned if this person wouldn´t mean a lot to you and you might say your pain also comes from the feeling that the other person doesn´t allow your love. You might say it is painful to not being allowed to be with that person and to express your love.

That is not so.

First of all: Noone is able to forbid love. You might love the other one as long as you want. Heartache isn´t occuring because of the abandonment, but because of you trying to close your heart. So it is you hurting yourself. Don´t do that. Never stop yourself from loving. And in such a situation your most love has to go to yourself. When you are able to love you are a blessing to this world. You are created out of lovelight and you´re having access to your inner lovelight, no matter what the outer circumstances may be. Give your love to yourself, you really deserve it.

Abandonment was my best teacher for unconditional love, but it took me quite a while and many, many tears until I was able to learn it. I share this to make it easier for you.

My own turning point came in a strange relationship to a guy some years ago. It felt almost schizophrenic as it was obvious that we had a really strong inner connection, but we brought forth the worst in both of us. Every time I would come close somehow, he acted out really rejecting and cruel. So we had an on/off relationship with a lot of arguments and turmoil. The universe always gives perfect scenarios for our lessons.
See, this guy had the worst fear of them all: He´s been afraid of love, what is more common as one might think. So it´s been the perfect dance: I represented love to him and he represented love for me – but because of our wounds we coudn´t be together, without hurting each other deeply. In this case it had to be me who finally had to close that door. Not because I stopped loving him. No, it´s been out of love, for him and for me, that I had to leave and that´s been the so(u)lution for our unsolvable problem.

The higher truth is always one of love. It is also the higher truth behind your own situation, no matter how painful it may feel like.

To assist you changing your perspective, here are some questions that might help you:

1) Do you understand that you are the beloved child of god?

2) Do you love and accept yourself fully?

If there is a no, you have found the reason for your pain. It´s not the other. It is you, not seeing your souls truth. If you can´t give a yes, you are not alone, cause not many people on this planet can answer with a yes. So, that´s your point where you have to work on, if you don´t want to experience these painful situations again and again.

To help you letting go of „the other“ here are two more questions:

1) What might it be that you are representing for the other, that s/he cannot stand?

2) Do you agree, that the other is an independent person, free to choose any perception and experience that is needed for their souls path?

You have to understand that god allows all of us to express themselves fully. If god lets them, even when they destroy themselves, it is not up to you to force anone to anything. If you feel like, it is your resistance and lack of trust in the higher purpose of all that is you have to work on.

But again the key to end your pain is in your own pocket, not in the others.

And in the end I´ve got to tell you a truth:
Abandonment is an illusion, it doesn´t exist.

We are all part of the OneLove of creation – how could one part of the eternal soup of love cut off another? The idea is even laughable.
If someone tries so, they are not in alignment with their inner truth, that is always one of love.

In the case of the guy that feared me because I represented love I made contact with his Higher Self, while leaving him in daily life behind. That´s been the reason, why I recieved a higher perspective. So I was able to let go, as I knew our love is true and real and all is well. I accidently met him again a few years later and there was nothing but love between us, but he´ll have a long path until he is able to integrate and live love fully, so we wont be together in this lifetime. He needs other lessons, that I can´t and won´t give to him.

You might try to connect your own Higher Self, maybe in a guided meditation, to find out what is the real lesson behind the outer experiences. If you did so and have been able to let go, you might than ask your Higher Self to make contact to the Higher Self of the other, to get the bigger picture.

That is what I am doing when cases like my mother show up in my life. See, no Higher Self of another person would ever abandon another. They are made out of pure Love. That is the reason why I said abandonment doesn´t exist at all, no matter how painful it feels like, it is not true from the higher perspective.

Even the Higher Self of persons abandoning and hurting you, are in love with you.

Allow that. Make peace and give love to the other and recieve love from the other. The eternal love is with you, every breath you take, every step you make. You are never without it. Can you allow it to be with you?

Feel loved, dear ones.

Shine your light!

One Love

Insights & PerspectivesPosted by Natalie Thu, October 06, 2016 10:12:09

When we love someone we think this love is created and is belonging to this person.
It is not!

Of course this someone is very special and the special „taste“ of love, you´ve experienced with this person, is unique. I´ve never ever loved two persons in the same way.
When two persons meet it is like very special spices coming together. They fit or they don´t. And if they fit, they´ll create a special flavour. But the other is always awakening your own love. He isn´t your love.

So if the other leaves, dead or alive, this special kind of loving goes away, but not Love. And not even this special kind of loving goes really, as we all meet again in the big spicy soup one day.
And believe me they also return in physical form sooner or later. I´ve met some past lovers in this lifetime. Noone gets lost. That´s the good and the bad news 😉

But what will always stay with you is Love itself. If heartbreak occurs, the problem is not the other going away, but your attitude if you stay in misery and pain.
The heartbreak is occuring because of wrong conclusions. Ideas like that we will never love again are causing the pain.
In fact the feeling of an aching heart is your heart not wanting to get closed, as this is against its nature. It´s you closing your heart, not the other leaving, what is so painful.

If you think you´ll never love that much again that might even become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as the next special someone coming along will only recieve a little bit of love, sneaking out of your armoured heart. But your heart is all about amour, not about armour.
A little bit of love won´t create a huge love story. So you´ll end up with persons that are also loving just a little bit.
I know most humans love that way. But it´ll never be my way. Love is too beautiful to live the small, traders mind, version. Traders mind means: I give a little bit if you give a little bit, so we are not alone.

Don´t do that. Love fully, even if that seems risky. Be aware that no love ever leaves you. It´s not possible. Hold their best as a pleasant memory and give from the beauty of your rich heart to the others that embody the One Love, that lives in all that is.

Shine your light!

Pain shows your soul is insisting

Your feelings are a good indicator of your state of well-being. Listen to them, they are serving you well.

If we feel emotional pain, we think the source of the pain is someone elses words or actions. Nope. It´s not. It is your Soul, saying you believe something that is not true and not grounded in love.
You might say: “Yes this cheatin´idiot didn´t express truth or love, when betraying me, therefore I feel pain.” Yes and no. It´s high likely that his actions haven´t been grounded in truth and love, but this pain is not about him. It is about you. What are your assumptions in this case?
“He never loved me. I´m unworthy.” Lie. Ouch.
“He chose her, cause she´s younger. I´m old and ugly.” Lie. Ouch.
“Why does that always happen to me? I must be stupid to fall in love with such a fraud.” Lie. Ouch.
“I´ve wasted the last 5 years, being with him. Should have known better.” Lie. Ouch.

See, to your Soul you are love. Your Soul knows no age, no time and no judgement about outer attributes. So it is your mind, telling untruth, that is causing the pain. You, handing your power to someone else, that is what is not truth and not love. That is painful.

And of course I would agree, it´s high like likely that your mates actions are grounded in non-love. But the only one that can really harm you, is you giving away your own power to a cheating guy and false assumptions.

Someone that loves and respects you wouldn´t hurt you with intend, here I would agree. But that goes home with him. The only one you are responsible for, is you. He, his reasons and state of (un)consciousness is none of your business or influence. Your past is also not to change, and regret is leading nowhere and therefore not an option. But now, in this moment, you are deciding about your future.

It´s no more important if he loves you, but if you love yourself, you´ll make sure to feel good about yourself. Give yourself what he didn´t. Love, honour and respect yourself fully.
If that includes to get rid of his cheatin´ass, than do that. If you wanna Keep him, because of whatever reasons, than do that. There are no rules, but what feels good for you. Whatever you choose, decide out of love for yourself.
Cause that will feel good. It´ll give you a feeling of strenght and selfworth. Ain´t that a good idea, someone doing you wrong and you are becoming stronger than before? That´s what it feels like, when you are in charge of your own life, cause that is what you came for.

Shine your light!

Projections and Scapegoats

Projections and Scapegoats

Finding SoulutionsPosted by Natalie Tue, August 23, 2016 16:29:50

Projections and Scapegoats

I realized lately why it´s been said that Jesus died for our sins. He didn´t. Noone dies for sins, may it be own or others. There´ll never be enough scapegoats and crosses to heal the pain of this world. So this saying just shows that Jesus hang at the cross because others projected their stuff onto him. They did him wrong and he loved them anyway, cause love is an undying force, noone can kill. I understood it, cause it happened also quite often to me that people used me as a canvas for their pictures of destortion. I guess that´s quite normal for lightworkers to be blamed. The ones that attack just hope their sins may die or vanish with the scapegoat. Won´t happen, no matter how often I´m dragged to a pyre or struggled to squash me. Sometimes I am even kind of bored by all this repetitions and I feel that it´s high likely Jesus not even stopped for a splitsecond to love Judas. Didn´t help anybody anyway, I guess, cause all the drama took place nevertheless.

Being the scapegoat is no fun as we all might have experienced. Actually it´s been quite painful to me. As I´m an empath I suffered because of their attack plus because I feel sorry for them and their pain, that makes them act the way they act. But after all I finally accept noone can unban someone else. You can´t love someone enough that he leaves hell. Everyone has to let go of the own shadows and demons by own intend. I had yesterday a little family drama going on and realized how much one involved person suffered and invested to build up her story, that makes her good and me evil, while it´s been the bloodiest lie of all times. But she had to, cause she could never live with the truth. Actually she could, cause she suffers because the soul knows it anyway, but that part she don´t understand. Only truth could end the pain and make room for love and grace, but won´t happen in this lifetime that´s close to an end.

So what to do if someone projects their stuff onto you? Well, I used to fight because of the inequity, I used to argue because of the lies, but it is all absolutely useless. They project their stuff because they need to, to make their own pain bearable and to keep the own illusions alive. They´ll keep going and you can´t stop them, no matter what you say or do.

So, I decided to let them all project whatever they prefer. Free will is king on planet earth. I´m out, playing in the sun and having fun.