Category: Insights & Perspectives

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Adam and the feminine split

In the bible there have been two women for Adam. One was created alike him, but he wanted to dominate her, what she refused. So she had to leave paradise (that´s paradise, to be submissive to an entitled dominator, thinking he´s “better”?!), being the representative of the demonized female energies. The witch/bitch, known as Lilith. She will never allow Adam to own her, as this would mean to make herself less than she is.

So Adam got a second woman, Eve. His wife and the mother of his children. Well, she is said to be created out of his rib…. That already speaks volumes. She´s not even an own being, but just created by what he wouldn´t miss at all. And that´s exactly how she´s treated.

No wonder Lilith will never allow Adam to own her. Who wants to give herself fully, birth his creations, nourishes them and is not even being honored for it, but taken as granted? If Eve would break her own heart and leave husband and children, to become free and sovereign again, she would suddenly represent Lilith and than he runs for her. But just as long as she is not present.

The reason for that has nothing to do with Eve/Lilith or however you name these archetypes. The male can just not allow the unity with the feminine as an equal. Why would anyone ever have to belittle someone else? Being better, more evolved than? Only attractive when not present? Because he doesn´t value himself and does not even really dare to be one with the feminine. That´s why he tried to dominate her in the first place, to then make her worthless. It just mirrors the inner conflict.

Honestly, the feminine principle is not honored at all, although nothing could exist, when not coming through her. How weird is it, that she has to become a demon to have some kind of freedom (although always hunted, therefore always haunting Adams shattered mind).

And of course this plays out with outer characters, but it has nothing to do with the outer world, but is taking place within every individual, no matter the gender. Archetypes that we just project on the outside, to declare us independent of them. Make them wrong, to feel right. How you perceive and treat others, shows how you really feel about yourself.

I see it, I hold love and compassion while I know the struggle it´s just an illusion, created by the fearful mind. I do not have to make others less or better. I am content within me. I honor myself and the other. Because this is who I am and that can not be defined by someone else. There´s no split, no lack, no story, no separation at all, unless you create it.

 

What we value

It´s been funny that I am all about Love…and at the same time have always received Masterlessons around money and been working with money to earn my living, many years. Now it´s starting to make sense to me, how these two areas have been perfect on my path.

I realized lately that earning my money with something I have no real passion for was for a long time hard for me, but making money with what I love seemed even absolutely impossible.

There are 2 reasons for it:

1.) Many people are willing to pay a high price for things that are worthless and do not value what is priceless.

2.) I have paid such a high price for being a loving being, no one can even imagine how much I have paid. It´s been the reason why I refused my path so long and stayed in the background. I´ve payed the bloodprice so often for being of service. But the broken heart has been way worse than the destroyed bodies. Truth is that we can not love enough, to make the frozen hearts melt. We can not be conscious enough to make the blinds see.

A lot of money-issues have of course to do with self-worth and who doesn´t have issues there? It has also to do with giving and receiving. I´ve written an article once, that might be interesting for you: http://oneblog.soulutions.one/2017/01/09/giving-and-receiving/

I´ve had so many people in my life trying to take advantage. The human hunts, deceives, steals, lies…and all  of it s/he does to him/herself, as a Master just wouldn´t. Not because of good and evil, but because that´s not working and why would a master do that to him or others? That´s just not what s/he is.

And I have also so much given and received for free. Honestly, I couldn´t have earned my mastery on a money-level. I got so much for free, in some cases I paid just what I could and in other cases I paid a hugh fee. The reason why I am that I am is my awareness, my love, compassion, joy and soul-driven passion. I make the best out of everything, so even if someone offers crap I´ll transmute it into wisdom, fun or something useful.

There´s still much to learn when it comes to money for me and all others in the spiritual community. That´s a weakpoint. Worth and value…I´m still not absolutely clear here, but I know these 3 things

  1.  That we can not give to receive and experience real abundance.
  2. Some things are priceless. I didn´t feel good, when I couldn´t afford it although I highly value it, so I assumed it´s not for me and felt better.
  3. We always pay somehow. The universe has it´s own balance-sheet.

What does that mean for my own work?

Yesterday I´ve received the message, that whatever price-tag I want to put on something is the price.

People from this day on can not receive things for free although some things are for free, for example my Monthly Rose Touch. This is a generous, loving universe. Everyone should have access to healing or wisdom. And if you take energy to bring in healing into this world, pay it forward to others, add wisdom, or just be happy and grateful, there´s absolute balance in this and I love to be of service. Love is absolutely priceless, you can not earn it, steal it or destroy it.

In this very second I receive the information, that people have never received things for free. When they have taken from me, without adding something of value to this world, they have always paid a price. The same goes for everyone, and subconsciously knowing that, might have been the reason why I always tried to make as much as possible out of everything.

I am working in divine service. He charges, if I don´t 😉

 

 

Dying to be me

Last year  I experienced 3 major steps on my path.

1.) I wondered why I had still attracted abusive people. The answer was a shock. Literally frozen in time for 40 years and opening my eyes for some ugly stuff around me.

2.) An shadow-aspect returning home and the message that “the Master is in the House”. Too funny, I couldn´t remember to have asked for him to come in, but maybe that´s been the reason why he was able to enter. Well, with the integration of my shadow, things seemed to be already brighter. Until…

3.) I was told by my eternal self that I have to die. And that there´s a choice to be made by me. The choice to be reborn in the same body or to come in again as a newborn. I was shown my potential parents, their energetic body coming together in an act of love to conceive the new life. I saw the energetic body of the fetus in the mothers womb, felt the love she held for the little one – what could be me. I´ve gotta say that this felt really attractive to me, as it´s been the very opposite of this lifetime. A fresh start under conditions that are loving and supportive felt really good. The other option was to be reborn in the same old body. And I was told this would be the harder option, as changing while staying the same is way more difficult. I chose the difficult version. Of course.

I was not sure if the message was understood, as I still felt the new body calling me. So I even wrote a letter adressed at my daughter, just in case…

But my choice was heard, cause when I woke up in the morning, a few days later, my whole surrounding felt totally strange to me. At least I changed my incarnation while sleep-time, that´s been a goodie. But still not that funny, as I had lost all attachment and interest to the things that once have been mine. Loosing attachment sounds nice…it´s not in real. I can hardly describe what was going on with me. I doubted if I might have lost my mind. I was so unattached, that I could walk out of me door the very next minute and never wanting to look back, no thoughts and feelings about the old would arise. My birthchart has had lots of earth in it, so this was really weird for me.

The strangest thing was, that all was the same, but I am not. It is really like a new incarnation. Love is the only thing that remained. I will always love my daughter, no matter what body or incarnation or relationship we have. And I love cats and coffee and the starlight. And Love itself of course.

The real difficult thing was that people expected me to be the same, plus even if I had no real attachments, I still had tendencies for some behaviours, that I had to get rid off. That´s why dying is much easier, than staying in the body. When you die everyone accepts that you are not available. But when they see the same body, they´ll blame you for not being and behaving like you are supposed to – from their point of view. But of course, it doesn´t matter what someone expects, we are the ones who have to take ownership of our behaviours…no one else can be blamed for what is our responsibility. So I tried to look as normal as possible, while unbecoming what I am not.

Dying alive was a hell of a ride, while I am in total peace, holding hands and having a melt-in with all of me, loving all of me. Well and of course a million angels, incarnated or not, trying to assist me. Two of them I have chosen to cooperate with for a quantum healing space about abuse. That´s been done to the most beautiful Souls and we need them being themselves again. Whole and complete. Well today Therese offered me spontaneously to have a look, what´s still missing in my field. She´s an awesome healer. Well actually she´s been a midwife today. She´s been handed the last missing piece to be integrated again. My divine blueprint, the innocent baby child …the aspect, that´s still been missing. Dying, to be reborn. Hallelujah.

The worst thing about abuse…

The worst thing about abuse have in my case not been the abusers. Looking backwards most of these folks have been very distorted and cowardish people, whom have normally been abused themselves.

In most cases abused people become offenders themselves or victims. And believe me it´s not the one chosing the victim-role who is the weak one. Things are seldom as they seem.

I know that I have chosen my life-path with great intend. To stand exactly where I am now!

No, the worst have been the ones knowing what´s happening and going into denial, to not risk their comfort.

The sisters of my abuser, changing the linen of the bed the eight year old shared with an adult man. My mother not wanting to take responsibilty for the life she has brought to earth, so she looked away for more than three years. And it´s been a doctor telling her, he would publicly hold her accountable for having the blood of her own child coming over her, when not taking me out of that household. And it´s not been her conscience, but his authority that saved my life.

Last year, when coming into awareness, leaving victim-consciousness behind, I saw how I still have been emotional and spriritually abused. With such an energetic signature the energy-vampires are always nearby. The Rose itself spoke to me to tell me that “Not all, collecting Roses do it out of love.” Indeed! When I stood up and spoke up for myself, my “sisters” looked away and some even took side for the abusing part. Well, they have chosen and their path is none of my business.

Now that I am at a point where I have found balance in me, against all odds, but with all heavenly forces holding my back, I have received messages myself and through others to help heal the wound that I had to overcome myself. What makes sense of course. I am aware that this brings up all the forces, that benefit from the “divide and conquer”, as I am going far beyond a pitty-party for victims or stupid gender-bashing. I go to the root as I see behind the obvious.

So the newest thing was a porn-vid sended out, with my name and picture on it, via messenger to my facebook-contacs. Pft! Seriously?! How should someone like me, standing so big, strong and tall after all she has experienced, to be offended or silenced with such a scam?! It might damage my FB-friendships or my business, of course. But guess what: That´s working for me, not against me. The ones that are sorted out that way are not the ones I want to have around anyway.

And when I wrote about it in Facebook and made a statement, most didn´t react at all, like always. Not even those that really believed it was me in the porn, found one word! Bravo! The silent masses, that´s what is the worst on this planet. They make all of it possible at all.

It can not touch me anymore. Who I am is not to be defined by the actions or in-actions of others. I have used all on my path to move beyond these games of a distorted duality. But I know one thing: The veil is lifting and the roles people are choosing become obvious. Don´t count on MY silence anymore! I will speak up. My facebook post and my blogpost are not written by someone who is hurt, but by someone who will make the silent m asses visible. I do it for those that have until now not taken their power back, to show them they can find their voice again, too. I do it because of all, who still wish things to be unseen and unspoken, so nothing will change.

To the abusers and enabelers: I welcome your darkness and will weave my magic to make your ways impossible, for a New Earth. The place I decended from to walk my brothers and sisters home. We are many, we are everywhere and nothing will prevent the future as she is already here.

I shine my light, indeed – and whatever you give to me, may it be light or dark, for an Alchema it´s all just fuel. If you stand in the light of my consciousness and see a shadow on the wall, it´s not me being scared and running, that´s for sure!

 

 

 

Why we cannot uplift others

I´ve gotta joyful, loving heart and I´m an empath, so I always totally enjoyed it to see people thrive.

The stranger it has been to me, that a lot of people first have been totally amazed by me, to than later start strange games, what normally ended our relationship.

If you are a loving empath who tries to uplift people, what never really works out, this article might be quite helpful to understand what´s really going on in these cases. And it holds a much better so(u)lution at the end.

First of all: We can not uplift someone, who feels down. S/he has to decide to stand up on their own.

If you ever have seen cases of co-dependency, there is always the one trying to help the person that is down. In the end, they are maybe both down, because of the energetic feeding and games that are taking place. When you finally leave, the one who is believing to be down will stand up…or, in most cases, find someone else, who tries to “help him up”.

The same dynamic is taking place when you try to uplift someone. It´s the same game, just a smaller stage. You cannot do anything for a person, but inspire them. If they do not get ignited by your spark, there´s no way to help them, without burning yourself out.

Ok, I will share a typical scenario, that had replays in different variations in my past: I meet someone, we become friends, as I´ve got something that they are missing within themselves. They love my joy, my kind heart or my inner stability. Whatever it has been, they see something inside of me, that they want to have too. Well, when I looked at them I saw their inner light, their being. I knew that they can have that too, whatever it is they see in me. They are one with all that is, they can be whatever they want. I tried to show that to them, to encourage them, remind them. Well, that´s been the moment when things started to go wrong. When comming closer with my light, all they did was focus on their shadow on the wall, getting bigger and bigger. I´ve been too much for them, so they tried to control me, own me, belittle me or turn in some way against me. And in many cases my “friends” became my hidden enemies, even waiting for a weak moment of mine, to bring me down, using everyhing they could find. They did fight me, because they somehow thought me to be above them. They have been the ones believing to be down. No one can change someone elses be-lie-f. People are creating their reality. You can not uplift them, when they think they are down.

And my role in that scenario? I did also only fool myself, believing I can do for people what they are not willing to do for themselves. And as I felt that I am too much for them, I tried to be careful. I´ve got a 12th house sun in capricorn, shining behind the scenes and therefore been targeted from hidden enemies. I´ve been hiding my light and they did hide their darkness until both collided. It´s been breaking my heart a million times – until it just couldn´t, as I understood what had taken place. They did not fight me, but their own shadow, caused by their own light they saw reflected in me and that they couldn´t open up for.

The more funnier and pleasant occasions have been people telling me how much I have evolved, while I thought that I am who I have always been. Well, actually they did evolve and therefore could also see more of my light. But that´s of course very beautiful.

See, when someone has to be uplifted, someone is above them, what is a total misconception. I told you I always knew that we all hold this divine spark. Noone is above. But I did dim my light often, to make it easier and more comfortable for others, to be around me. I wanted to be accepted by them, but just had to learn to accept myself, all facettes of me. That´s why I met so many people with a hidden darkness, as I´ve been hiding my light.

The so(u)lution for all who want to help others is the following:

Stop uplifting, but instead inhabit and shine your light with all your might.

And yes, it might be that a lot of persons will turn their back on you as they cannot stand your shine, but they are at the moment not a match anyway. You would just distract, and struggle with, each other. Won´t help no one.

Shine your beauty with all your might, it will attract the right ones and you will inspire and ignite your divine sparkle endlessly as you are a match and mirror to each other.

 

A uses b – The roots of Abuse

The #metoo brought a topic into the public, that has been suppressed for so long. As someone who has experienced and witnessed all kinds of abuse, I´m quite passionate about it and I´d like to bring in some other perspectives.

1.) Abuse happens in all areas of life, we are just so used! to it, that we ignore it in most cases. In the past the abuser had to fear justice only in cases when someone was raped and the injuries have been visible and made it impossible to ignore them (there are many cases where even that has been ignored).  But that have been just the extremest form of abuse.

The emotional wounds have been much deeper and invisible, therefore easy to ignore.

2.) Ignorance has been the enabler. What is seen as “normal” we tend to ignore. Although there is a feeling inside that things are not right, but that feeling is suppressed. On the outside the suppression shows up as ignorance or even victim-bashing as the extremest form of ignorance. People do not want to face the injustice that is taking place, because of the consequences they fear when facing the issue. Taking action might have bad consequences or provide inconveniences for themselves. The wounds that are caused by being left alone by family and so called friends are deeper and have a longer lasting effect than the abuse itself. That’s what makes it so difficult to heal. The ignorance is the reason why abuse is so normal for us, that people do not even recognize how huge that topic is.

A lot of abuse is happening not by violence and physical power, but by manipulation and deception. Why? Because of the deeply ingrained believe in lack, unworthiness and powerlessness.

Someone who believes in lack, in not having the own abilities to fulfill their wants and needs, will use his physical, mental, psychological or spiritual strength to get his needs met…via other people.

Read this again and open your eyes. Look around. Ponder about it. Once you see this truth you´ll see how widespread abuse of all kinds is. You´ll see that you have been abused very often, that you´ve enabled abuse and that you might have been the abuser yourself. No, I do not want you to feel bad. I ask you to face reality. This will keep on until we dare to change it. And when you look away today, you might be at the short end of the stick tomorrow…how much more pain and distortion will be needed until we change? Most people don’t care until it is not their their own pain or that of a loved one.

What makes abuse abuse? The consciousness. Two people meeting to exchange their gifts in an open loving way by free will, that´s co-creation, no matter the topic: business, money, sex, you name it. To live that way you have to trust in life, in your abilities to get your needs met and to find the right ones to work together with you by free will. You have to trust you will receive enough, when coming together with others.

Seen that way it’s no wonder we find the most disgusting people often in powerful positions. On the top of the ladder you find the ones fueled by their passions…or by their need to prove to themselves how worthy they are. The last ones do not trust, but believe in lack, they think they have to get their needs met by power, manipulation and deception.

Well think about it, to tell someone you love him/her to get into their pants is a kind of abuse. Just there´s no violence involved and therefore no bad consequences. It´s legal and normal. To tell a guy, whom you chose just because of his money, how much you love and adore him just to make him marry you, build a house and feed your kids, that’s also abuse. Why? Because you are not honest. You abuse your own abilities to make him fall in love with you, to make use of his ressources. You´re not laying your cards on the table and trust someone will be a match to play together as co-creators.

Abuse is literally everywhere. It’s just the extent to which it is happening that differs. But in its core it is the same mindset.

The owner of a company using people, who he doesn’t honor and pay well, to live himself in wealth while they have horrible life-conditions, that´s abuse too.

Someone befriending you, not because they like you, but because you have influence, power, talents, money, and trying to make use out of you, that’s abuse.

Telling your friend that this awesome dress doesn’t suit her, as you are jealous and want to be the prettiest girl this evening, that’s abuse.

I told you it is everywhere, it is “normal”. But as long as all of that is seen as normal, the Weinsteins of this world will be normal too. They are just the extreme results of our state of (un)consciousness, expressed in our daily actions.

Abuse is a game of lack. Whoever plays it, screws the own integrity. You cannot win it, there are absolutely no winners in this game. Even when you overtrump the whole world, you know it deep inside of you. That’s why darkworkers will never be happy people on the long run. They might be rich and famous, believing in their importance and ability to f*ck the whole planet, while the masses follow and admire them…but they will have to face truth one day, that nothing of all of that could heal their own wounds, the root of distortion. And the masses, that admired them? Well when the m gets silent, the rest might end in a shitstorm.

What heals the roots?

Dear one, there´s nothing more beautiful and important you can do for this planet and yourself right now, but give yourself the remedies that are called Love, Acceptance and Compassion.

Shine your light!

There´ll be a Rose Touch Session soon, just about this topic. If you are interested, please stay in touch with the Rose Touch.

Distractions

People are constantly under the influence of distractions. Their mind is held busy all day long. When we are not working, we care for a thousand obligations and as we are so stressed out, we use TV and Social Media to “relax” in our free time. Every single minute we are distracted and stay therefore away from all that has real meaning to us.

Often we don´t even know what has real meaning to us. What might that be? We can only find out, when we walk our own path, instead of following the distractions.

This goes for  the individual as also for the collective. Why do distractions occur at all? To lead us astray. I´ve got to confess that I got a few times quite distracted in my life. So I really understand how something or someone can catch our attention.

In 2015 I have searched for advise for my Souls Path, as the message to follow my path as a healer has shown up again and again at that time. I spoke to Kahuna Kaleiiliahi about this important topic. She agreed that it is indeed my purpose to heal and teach others and that it has been the reason why I went through all of my experiences and hardships. And than she told me to be careful, as relationships, especially romantic ones, had been a huge distractor in my life, trying to hold me back. That I shall not allow a need for companionship or love to lead me astray from my own calling. It´s been a wise advise that helped me a lot along my journey.

What you give attention to, you feed energetically. I´ve got a lot of spiritual energy and the ability to focus. That´s why I´ve been really yumy for all energetic vampires. As I know this weakpoint now, they are never allowed very long in my field, as my energies are needed for my own journey, that will co-create with many on their path, instead of feeding a few.

I am sure this fits for many. Some get distracted by their relationships, others by media, their jobs, all kinds of unnecessary obligations and “important” demands. But take a closer look. Is it our life purpose to argue with others about the tweets and headlines of distractors? Attention is energy. That´s why we will see a lot of stuff in the media, trying to harvest humanities energies, while we fail at the same time to go for our real goales.

Please go for the real gold, not for the shiny glitter.

And don´t get me wrong. It´s not that “doing nothing” or just having fun on Facebook is wrong. You might find me watch the starlight for hours or I post pictures of puppies in my timeline. Sometimes being not productive is not a distraction, but gives space for healing or it is just for fun. Fun is always in tune with our souls mission. We are joyful, adventurous beings. What I mean with distractions is about “getting hooked in” and loosing us, about feeding the dying old earth energies instead of building the new, the one we came for.

Follow your own dreams. Even when we might have to purify them, they are still serving our own purpose. For example: I used to dream of writing a bestseller. Along my path I found out, that I just want to write, no matter the circumstances, as being a writer is my nature. The dream of success has been a distraction, as I wanted to prove my worth at that time. As I can stay now with my true self, I do not need distractions any longer. Cause that´s the reason behind allowing the distractions. Fear of being present with the own true being. Don´t.

There´s nothing more beautiful than your true self. Shine your light.

 

 

The Reflection-Deception

For a very long time I was wondering why everything on this earth seemed to be upside-down. When I looked around it´s been really frustrating to witness how people admired those that lead them astray and how we all gave away our power to those that would use it against us.

I´m a capricorn and so values matter to me. I saw how rules and laws are made, not as a support for mankind, but to fool and imprison us. I myself have been blinded by illusions, cause nothing was as it seemed and nobody walked their talk -and the few ones that did, have been used and fooled. All was upside down. How comes a banker is seen as more important than a farmer, although we are all, every single one of us, fed by the farmers work? How is it possible that for thousands of years women have been seen as worthless, while every human has been born, raised and nourished by women? How comes we poison the planet that we all rely on for survival? And no matter what areas of life I started to look at, it’s been the same strange phenomenon, that all and everything on this planet was upside down.

But the last two years some pieces came together that showed me a greater picture. The first one was a snapshot I took of a reflection on water, where all looked real but was upside down.

Other pieces came together when I had to encounter a few people that tried to fool me and lead me astray. One of the people was someone whom I had trouble to “read” although I’m an empath. On one hand I felt very comfortable and “at home” with him and on the other hand my guts reacted with turmoil for seemingly no reason, when I encountered him. I wondered how he could feel loving and kind to me, as he had a very robotic and repetitive behaviour and almost no emotions. When I observed him interacting with others, empathic, loving people, I recognized he just mimics and reflects them. When they smile, he smiles, when they laugh, he laughs. It´s been really strange to see him being a living mirror. That´s how he´s able to fool these beautiful people and it’s been the way he has also been able to come close to me. I have felt comfortable with him as I have had myself reflected back at me. People of course like him a lot as their own reflection feels like home.

Another person that I met tried to collect people with a special energetic quality. After a while I recognized she distracts and confuses people, what really didn’t fit into the “role” she tried to perform. So it´s been a role and not her true being. I watched her closer and realized she used her psychic abilities to make others run for her visions and dreams. She tried to make others her puppet, while she let herself being used by destructive forces.  And the thing that really made me wonder was that on one hand she got more and more angry and mean towards me for seemingly no reason, but she also tried to copy some of my behaviours. Why would she do that? Maybe to perform her role, as a copy of the original.  A distorted one, like all upside down copies.

And then the penny dropped. All on this world that seemed upside down was a reflection-deception. The malevolent forces created reflections of the originals. They did it in all areas of life. Check it out yourself and you´ll find it everywhere.

They used the real creator and installed a false god to worship and fear. They used the real Yeshua and made him a tortured Jesus on the cross. They used sacred union and created the battle of sexes. The Archangels became Arcons, the true light a false light. Real food has been changed into the colorful poison they sell to the masses. Our professions are turned into labour, our laws into rules of insanity, our leaders into egomaniacs. All is upside down, as all is a reflection-deception.

Why? Who´s behind it?

The following is just a theorie. I can not say if it is right or wrong, but there is at least some truth in it. I stay openminded, as any be lief is a thief. Every day a new piece of the puzzle may show up, changing the whole picture. I have to confess that I´ve been very sceptic myself when I heard the first time the theory that we are living in a time loop, created by AI. But a few month ago I realized that memories I thought to be from my distant past, showed my entering point into this game…coming from the future. Why did I enter? I entered with many others, to change the game, to bring in the connection to the original creation and a choice, as mankind has been fooled, what was a cosmic foul. AI didn’t know what they did, they do not know what creation means and how it works. They can only mimic, reflect, as they are not creators, they can only bring out copies and nature never creates copies, only originals. This world is upside down as it is a reflection, not the original. Don´t get me wrong. Not this planet is a reflection, Gaia is very real. Just the false matrix, that has been laid over the real creation, is fake.

But there’s no reason to fear this, as all of us entered this game by free will and nothing is able to harm us on the long run. And it´s easy to unmask the deception, once you realized it and claim to be a free being, than the illusion bubble just pops. You have to connect with your source within, instead of getting hypnotized by the reflection-deception. You´ve got all you need, all love, all guidance and all truth within yourself.

Shine your light.

 

The Drama-Triangle

I heard the term “Drama-Triangle” a few weeks ago in a Seminar at my working place. The lecturer brought the example of his mother in law, giving a call that she made a cake and will show up in half an hour with the cake (saviour). And how they, both him and his wife working, with 2 children, had an schedule totally filled and had to say “no, thank you”. With the result, that the mother in law first got totally upset and accusing (victimizer) and finally complained how she always tries to do them a favour and how it took her half the day to make that cake, that is now not valued (victim).

The same day a healer made me an offer. Something that I defo would need and only few places are available, but I can have one (saviour). I didn´t feel in any way I need his produkt and gave him a friendly no, wishing him all the best. (I sensed his pressure already as he needs the money, that´s been the reason why I made sure my no is an uplifting one. People often forget that I read energies). He than was not able to accept my no, telling me this would be just my fear and ego. (LOL?!). I still stayed patient, telling him it´s a bit absurd to tell me to know better than myself what I need. Oh my, that  made him freak out totally! He went full circle or triangle, how unaware I am (victimizer), how outstanding his produkt is, that I wouldn´t value (victim) and how I had missed my great opportunity (saviour).

It´s just an example, as this was a timely coincident, but I decided to write about it, as I see this Drama-Triangle playing out so often. It´s a very destructive behaviour and people are totally unaware how they sabotage themselves and their goals. See, I never thought bad about that healer, my thoughts were positive, I never thought he might offer products that are not good. Just I have a 24/7 direct line to my higher aspects, they tell me what I need or not. I even felt compassion towards him, as I knew how it feels like to need money desperately. But that never made me manipulate or belittle others, no matter how difficult life became. See, you can not give out such an energy and expect to thrive in life. You just make things worse on the long run.

The reason why the Drama-Triangle isn´t working, but destructive:

You can not pump up your selfworth by belitteling others.  And you are no victim, but in charge of your re-actions to life. And for sure you can not feel important by playing the saviour.

The whole Drama-Triangle is created by a low selfworth, what is most common on this planet. But it can only play out when you do not face your own feelings and when you still believe the big lie of “better or less than”.

What helps, no matter if you create the triangle or have to face someone who plays it out, is to bring in awareness. Observe what is just happening. If you have to deal with people, playing out that Drama-Triangle very often, you might remind yourself with hanging a picture of this triangle next to your phone or computer.

Your awareness will help you to not get dragged into the destructive game, but to stay present with yourself. So you do not have to take things personally. It has nothing to do with you, but it´s all about them and their projections. I might feel compassion towards them, but nevertheless I stay away from people that are fully engaged in this game. I give people the opportunity to become aware and to stop their behaviour, but if they do not want  to take responsibility for themselves I stay away from them. For me that´s a matter of self-respect and self-care to not engage more than needed with toxic people. But in most cases you do not have to remove them, as they can not stand your presence, when you gain and emanate selfworth, and will stay away themselves. Of course they will tell everyone else what a horrible person you are, but well, the ones that believe them, they deserve them 😉

Take good care and shine your light <3

 

#metoo The stages of pain, denial and healing

I am one of many women who postet #metoo. The Weinstein-Exposure startet a discussion that comes very late, as the affected have been left alone for so long. But it is a little miracle in itself, that the topic finally entered the collective stage. The hashtag #metoo is already 10 years old, but time wasn´t ripe before…and the names maybe not famous enough.

I wrote a few month ago about my own suppressed trauma from childhood, that suddenly showed up after 40 years. It showed up, when I asked my higher self why I still attracted abusive people after all the healing work I did. The answer was a shock. I asked myself why my consciousness didn´t let it out earlier, as there´s been already quite some other incidences later in my life that I´ve been conscious of. The answer is that what happened to me as a 8 year old, was just too horrible and the remembered episode has been the only one where I was awake, as for some reason the barbiturate wasn´t working that day. It happened over years and normally I was drugged and used and thrown away like a doll, seemingly even selled to others. The whole story showed up in layers to be integrated. My own consciousness is just a mirror of the collective, that denied what it couldn´t deal with. And the collective denial continues and will be unveiled in layers.

The reason why there´s so much dispute in the discussion, are the different stages of processing the involved persons are representing at the moment, as expressions of the collective.

When Pain starts to talk to Denial, there´s no way they can have a proper conversation, not to mention a connection that brings healing.

Out of own experience I want to encourage Pain to express the stages of pain, rage, sadness and whatever it might be you feel. To feel it is needed for the proper integration. Feel it fully, express it…and than give love to yourself. Comfort yourself. Be proud that you were brave enough to express yourself. It is important to value all stages of processing, as only this can bring healing. That goes for the individual as for the collective.

I experienced myself, as a child and this year again, how it feels to be left alone. Or how people even use it against you, to pump up their self-worth and make you “less than”. Yes, this is painful, but I welcomed the clean-up in my life anyway. Maybe you can also try to get a point of view that helps you instead of hurts you.

In later phases, when there´s already peace in the system, there might occur a greater picture. Facts like that the ones that are in denial have not been brave enough to face the topic themselves, to literally step in your shoes. There are many reasons why people deny pain. They might have been victims themselves, they might have been perpetrators, but in both cases they can not deal with the pain. Sometimes they went from victim to perpetrator. It´s a well-known fact that this happens very often. For some reason they don´t have the courage until now to deal with it. And you can not force people to face their shadows, without becoming somehow assaulting yourself. Do not enter the destruction and distraction circle.

Over the last month I learned much about cowardish behaviour. Funny enough the “spiritual” community is the best…in creating forms of denial. And it´s making sense. Most people in the spiritual community still want to be “better than” or somehow special, totally unaware that they are the best when they are just themselves and drop all of that special advanced BS. People just have to be “better than” when they didn´t learn to love themselves and others fully.

The second reason was spoken out loud in Basel from Teal Swan on stage. She said, that most of the spiritual stuff is Novocain, a painkiller. Doesn´t heal anything, just makes people run from one event, book, teacher to the next, to get their shot of release. I couldn´t agree more, been there, done that …until I realized it. Well the second reason has much to to with the first reason, as the biggest pain is the lack of self-worth.

So please, when you have to process pain search for help and stay away from people that are still in stages of denial. Do not waste your time and energy with a fight against other peoples shadows. Use all your energy to face and heal your own shadows. Do also not search for revenge. The best revenge is to be a healed, happy and free being. Go for it. I am by your side and many good men and women are too.

Sending my love and compassion to every one <3