Category: Insights & Perspectives

Sharing insights and points of view

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The externalisation of power

We are raised in a way that we believe deeply in our smallness and unworthyness. We are trained to see us as powerless. A lot of people train us, because they believe it themselves…and some do so because they take advantage of others with intend. And as we incarnate on earth in a very helpless state as newborns, we have evidence for these misperceptions, that then start to form our reality. We may live in an endless circle of fear (false evidence appearing real), as we experience unpleasant circumstances that reinforce our perception and creation. Endless repetitions of poverty, bad luck, ailments, injustices etc.

It might be a running gag throughout the galaxies that on earth we hand over our power to outer circumstances, never aware that we might take back our power at any time. Actually we can never give away our power truly, we just externalize it. That´s why we blame our boss, partner, parents, government etc. pp. But why do they rule at all? Because we refuse to accept our own responsibility. Power equals responsibility. We can not take it for others and we can not hand it to others, that´s just distortion and illusion to do so.

In my family once was a young guy thrown into war and taken prisoner at age 17, while WWII. He and the others have been forced to dig their own graves. How? Well with a gun in front of him. But what did he do? He throwed away the showel and said to the soldier in front of him: “Go, dig yourself.” He took the responsibility that he might die a few minutes earlier, but he refused to hand over his power. Well, the russian soldier didn´t shot him, but has beaten him really really hard and let him lie on the ground to die. But guess what? A female doctor came along, fell in love with her young enemy and saved his life. Very touching and encouraging story. Sometimes life has to send us into the extremes to make us learn our lessons.

I went into the extremes very often myself, I have spend endless times trying to “help” people, that just wanted someone to join their pitty-party, validate their stories or take responsibility for them and carry their burden. And oh yes, I did, as I didn´t know better or thought people wouldn´t know better. But finally I understood and remembered to not allow others to distract me from my real mission.. I came for those, that really want to evolve. For those that want to take back their lifes to walk on their own sovereign path.

I realized, that when I accept how things are, they will never change. And I came as a gamechanger.

No matter if someone asks for my advice or a healing-session: I only work with those, that are aware, that I am just their assistant in their own process. A masterly assistant, as my presence makes it possible to see more clearly or to receive the healing frequencies. I just remind them, as they hold it inside of themselves and I just help to reconnect with it.

People have no idea how mighty they are. If you have ever been haunted by demons or guided by angels…believe it or not, but they are formed by the externalization of the human ability to create. You might feel like sh*t, but you are a living god. One that might have ailments, relationsship-issues, money-problems, wrinkles and no hope….but you created them…and you are the one who can decide to be happy under all circumstances. That´s what I did. I chose happiness over pain, that´s been all…but that´s a tough and lifechanging choice. I had to face some really ugly stories, when looking at my own responsibilities. Most people run from truth, from pain, from responsibility. Please don´t, as you can not escape anyway, but you will suffer endlessly when you try. Turn around, look your demons in the eye and watch them reintegrate into you.

Last year something Teal Swan said while an event in Basel opened my eyes. She said that most of the people in the spiritual community are somehow like drug-addicted. People who are going into spirituality normally do so because they are traumatized. Badly injured, like after a car-accident, having all bones broken. You might give them morphine as a painkiller, but if you just give the painkiller and do no other surgery, they will not recover at all but become junkies. Well it´s true. Most people just want a quick fix, as they need a painkiller, a new high. That´s why they run from event to event, from healer to healer, from teacher to teacher. They don´t want Soulutions, they want their next shot of happiness and escape. I understood that this was a powerful truth. I decided that I will not sell the next shot into nirvana. I came to change this planet, not to escape and I will not waste my time with those that try to avoid the responsibility for their own lifes.

I know it is hard to do, but take back all you´ve projected outwards. You need a helping hand and companions, yes, we all need that once in a while, that´s what all of my work is about, to assist and encourage others. But you can not become dependent on anyone or anything when you want to be happy, free and thriving. And that´s what I wish for all of us…this will bring true abundance, connection and joy to this planet. No one can do it for you and you do not have to do it on your own…but for yourself. <3

Why the EmPath has to anchor within

Being an EmPath is for many a path of struggle, pain and exhaustion. When we feel everything around us so intensely, that´s just a massive overload, especially when we live in huge cities, meeting lots and lots of people every day.

Therefore it is absolutely crucial that we learn to master our special abilities. In my case my abilities have to do with “tuning into energy fields”, especially emotional energy fields. And this picture of “tuning in” is pointing out clearly how to handle all the energies.

Think of yourself as a radio. One that has not learned by now to choose the prefered station and lets all of them in at once. Plus it might have an issue with its ground wire.

When all radio-stations come in at once, that´s of course just a horrible noise. No wonder when an EmPath is depleated at the end of the day, feeling just stressed out. When I look back I really wonder how I´ve been able to survive under these conditions.

What helped me on my path was to finally realize that I´m able to choose the radio station. When I first heared of that idea I doubted that this is possible and you might feel the same reading this. But it really is possible, just it needs a.) your intend and b.) practise.

There are many tools out there, that help while that process. I personally chose some breathing technics from the Heartmath Institute, as they are very quick, easy and effective to use. Shamir Ladhani offers every monday a free 15 minutes session, the “Espresso Shot” for people to learn about these methods. It helped me to learn to anchor within myself, what is crucial for all people at the moment, but especially for EmPaths.

When it comes to the intend you might stumble over an interesting point: You have to ask yourself, why you chose to open all channels at once. Of course it is somehow part of your being to be empathic, like being a cat or a human is a given and can not be changed. But when your skill is hindering you, makes you struggle even, than it is worth looking at it, how it comes that we overdo it so much. I know that this doesn´t seem like a conscious choice, but even our subconscious choices have a reason and can be changed. There might be a hidden benefit or belief behind it. I can not answer this for you, just share what I found out in my case. Maybe this inspires you or gives you a clue for finding out about your own reasons.

As I mentioned before I didn´t believe that I can have a say when it came to my empathic abilities. I couldn´t imagine, that I can learn to fine-tune them and so I just felt overwhelmed, without a choice. And that´s just not been true.

Another believe that I had, one of my reasons why I lived with all channels open at once, has been that in my childhood I had to be constantly alert, as I´ve been raised in a dangerous environment. I realized that this had imprinted me with the idea to live in a dangerous world, that needs constant attention on my surrounding.

Another obstacle was the strange idea to be somehow responsible for the well-being of the people around me. Many EmPath have that, those on a spiritual path especially. I will explore this topic deeper in an upcoming article, but for todays topic it is enough to realize that this is one of the misperceptions, that cause an EmPath to focus on the outer world, to prioritize “the other”.

When you found out what is the hidden benefit or belief that causes you to overdo your beautiful talent, you can feel into it and decide if the benefit is really worth it and if your beliefs are helpful for your path.

As many EmPath struggle with it, they do not know that they have an option to learn to handle their gifts and still serve mankind.

In my own case I found out, that I serve mankind best when I learn to anchor within myself. Therefore I had to learn to make my own well-being and groundedness my top priority. The reason for that has been my Monthly Rose Touch. I had to understand that  I have to be fully anchored within myself to be able to hold a stable connection to the participants all over the world.

It´s been common sense that made me avoid distractions as much as possible each month while that special day. It didn´t make sense at all to allow someone to challenge my serenity, when dozens people would benefit from my balanced state while the Rose Touch. So I stayed with myself most of that day, to not have outer distractions. And that worked out so well and I benefit so much from it, that I learned to take that centered attitude into the rest of my life.

Fact is, that I always knew how peace, love, harmony feels like, that´s my “home station”. That´s the real gift I brought in. I guess most of the EmPath know how home feels like, that´s why they get stressed by the dissonnant noise here. Fact is also that I came to send out this station, for sure I did not enter this life to instead loose myself in others disharmonious vibes.

What helps anchoring and grounding? Being in nature, meditation and all kinds of arts help me to ground and focus and I know a lot of EmPaths that enjoy these relaxing activities, too. But you have to find out what suits you personally. All I share is just to inspire you to find your own truth.

And I can tell you that the more you practise to fill your cup first, the more you are able to become an overflowing fountain. And that´s what an EmPath is as his/her highest potential. A fountain of Love, Joy and Compassion.

You are precious and much needed in this world. Please treat yourself with much honor, love and respect. That includes to not allow others to feed off you or to bring you down. You help no one when you allow those destructive behaviours, may it be you towards yourself or by allowing outside sources to mistreat you.

When you follow that path you´ll be more and more able to be resilient towards outer influences. But you have to go inwards to be able to go outwards. You have to first take care for yourself. And then inspire others to also take care for themselves. In this way we´ll co-create a world of happy, fulfilled people.

Shine your precious Lovelight.

If you´ve injoyed this article and would like to learn about “Energetic Boundaries“, the recording of a NeuSpace Conversation about that topic might be also helpful for you.

What free to be me means for me

I have taken a lot of steps over the years in my life, to free myself from my past and to finally be able to be myself. The last one occured in 2017 and brought total destruction in the area of my personal relationships, especially with “friends”.

I had to realize that I still had people around that tried to dominate, control and feed off me, just they´ve been more subtil meanwhile. When I refused to feed these behaviour patterns, they tried to give me a hard time, but all it did was to open my eyes. And I did. Plus I opened my heart for myself and I opened my arms to embrace life. The funny thing was that when I felt inside of me I just felt free, although my whole area of relationships went down, down, down, all at once. I looked around and instead of feeling beaten up, I felt happy and free. For the first time in my life I had plenty of time and energy for myself. I lived in a kind of vacuum, just me with me. And one day I suddenly opened my mouth and a melody just came out of me and I literally sang “I am free, I am free, I am free to be me. I am free, I am free, I am free just to be.”

Since then everything changed for me. I am open for everyone, but at the same time I became very choosy and picky whom to give something of my precious time and attention. Everyone can do and be whatever s/he chooses, but not everyone is a match to the energies I want  to express. It’s as simple as that.

When we “loose” something we often think we did something wrong, while it is a sign we did something right. We started growing and our old life is no more fitting. Let go and welcome what comes next.

I express this freedom in all areas of life. Whatever comes my way I feel inside, how it feels to me, if I want to interact, engage, how to react in alignment with my true being. I am a very tender, loving person. But free to be me means to also stand my ground and to not give in to games others play in their life. Free to be me means to play all melodies from klassic to rock, as a perfect dance in alignment with my own being. I always find happyness, love, fun, wisdom, in every situation, no matter what comes my way.

We shall never ever corrupt ourselves, to please someone else. Feel inside what is your own song, vibe, melody? What makes your own heart´n soul sing, dance, jump for joy? And then just do it.

If you could need a bit assistance with your own energetic clean-up, than join me and my lovely coworkers the 4th of march 2018 on edudip. If you can not make it at the given time and date, the replay will also work for you.

We are three Masterhealers, co-working on the quantum-level for these webinars, and combining our skills we move mountains out of the way, when you give intend to really be free.

Shine your light beautiful Soul!

 

Healing the fe/male distortion

It´s the biggest tragic-comedy of all times. The fe/male split, expressed by so many heart-breaking stories. Different names, faces and places, all playing out endless variations of the same story.

Do you know what men search? (Yes, I know sex, the orgasm…but what is an orgasm, but total unity and melding of sorts?). What is it that makes them so intrusive? It´s the longing for total acceptance through the surrender of the feminine. Being themselves and being admired for their being. That´s why they always have to “be the best”, as only than they will be adored and experience the female surrender.

And what does the feminine look for? For admiration, of course. She wants to be adored for her worth. That´s why women wear absurde things and torture themself to be beautiful enough to be admired and “wanted”.

And that´s why men pay women for sex. To make her accept him, and may it be for 3 minutes behind a trash-can. And she will give it to him, cause the pennies she collects prove her beauty.

In most cases what is called a lovestory are two people, that feel lack, coming together to heal lack. Codepency. That´s why there is so much drama in our Love-Stories. We fight with the other, so s/he gives us, what only we can hold for ourselves.

We might play all kinds of drama on the outside, but they all are a reflection and projection of our own inner Story. The hide and seek, the hunt and withdrawal are just the externalization of the fear of surrender towards the own inner unity and melding. Pretending to search for Love that is unavailable, to distract from the refusing of the own inner ultimate melding and union. As long as we do, the show must go on on the outside.

A man who doesn´t love and value himself enough to feel safe, will never be able to give a feeling of safety to the women he chooses. So they will never feel valued or trust him and open up fully. Instead they will learn to behave more male around him, to not get overtrumped.

A woman who has not found her selfworth will never find the one who will give her the feeling to be worthy. No matter how many flowers she receives or how rich her husband is.

All that we search in the other is what we have abandoned in ourselves. We just externalize it, project it on the outside and create these unbelievable tragedies, comedies and crimescenes that we call Lovestories.

And also on the collective level it is just the sum of all the individuals, that are struggeling with their not integrated “other half”. I used to fight against authority figures, when I was younger, until I realized I am my own ultimate authority. I do not have to fight patriarchy, just give them a “no” once in a while, when they do not pay me the respect that they want from me also. And the rising of the feminine? It is true. Women take back their power. But this will not work out by fighting the male, that they carry within themselves, too. Don´t blame “the other”, become responsible yourself.

Why fight with a guy in a relationship or on a global scale with men about my worth? I love my own inner male and female aspects totally. I became a tender loving badass, able to deal with every guy coming along my way. If they can not handle me, that´s where they are not complete within themselves. Has nothing to do with me.

And that´s it. When I see how women still try to please men I know they are still codependent. And a guy running after a woman, still not knowing he is worthy all the love and beauty of this world. And holds it within himself, not needing anything from anyone. Just alike the woman that searches for Love in all the wrong places, as she is not loving herself without any compromise.

We have to become complete within us. You can not become a master and not have healed your inner split. Start the most awesome Loveaffair with yourself, including all of your aspects, male, female and child. Become your own holy family. Your aspects have to be integrated within yourself, then you are absolutely whole and complete and will be free to react on the outer world just as you choose to.

You have no idea how adorable these beings are, may they have a male or a female body, that own all of their being. Beautiful beyond words, no matter the looks. That´s how we were created. Breathtaking awesome. Return to it.

Shine your eternal, integrated Lovelight <3

Integrity

To gain integrity it is necessary that you don´t give a f*ck. Cause when you can get compromissed by anything or anyone, you will.

To gain true integrity you have to become totally free and sovereign. A long journey it has been in my case. Like many of my kind I´ve been tourchured and killed so often, everything that I love has been taken from me and every dream I have had has been shattered into pieces a million times. It had to. To become free of all of it in this lifetime.

And you have to become free with a totally open heart, that feels all the pain, all the losses, all the doubts, all the fears….and still loves absolutely relentlessly. That´s how you gain compassion and wisdom.

I have had close relatives dying in my early childhood and lovers been taken from me under tragic circumstances. The ones that I loved and trusted have abandoned and betrayed me. I´ve been scared half to death by big money and I´ve been standing at my own grave from a pastlife in 2016 to then die alive in 2017. It teached me that I am eternal and all my loved ones are too. Nothing ever happened to me or to them. We are save and eternally in love with each other no matter what happens.

I´ve been offered money, love, importance and the false light. And I chose the I AM, not an outer source of fullfilment.

So in case you have experienced similar things, it´s not been a punishment or a task, it´s been just the result of your own choice to become free and untamed, eternal and sovereign. A master, a living god/dess, a sovereign. You´ve always been, but you had forgotten. If you read this, this is your friendly reminder and reassurance.

You are dearly loved, you are abundant beyond messure and your soul tribe is just waiting around the corner. You will receive all of it, the very moment you do not need it any longer. You get what you are. If you are fear, you´ll receive fear, if you are lack you will receive lack. And it´s funny, you can be abundant with a cuppa tea and the laughter of a friend or be a poor and lonely fool in a castle. Not because you are punished, but because you are a creator and you can fool and deceive the whole world including yourself, but not creation itself. It will mirror your being.

Integrity means to live who you are. Not to believe in values, but to live them, to embody your highest truth. Nothing is allowed to come between you and you.

Saturn the ruler of capricorn is in capricorn the next two years. He´ll deliver what you seeded. If you do not like the deliveries, you´ve gotta go within and be totally honest with yourself where you still corrupt yourself. When you have found your true self, nothing can harm you any longer. You will be save, no matter the circumstances, because you will no longer leave yourself. It is you with your eternal I Am. Your eternal light and your neverending love united within you.

May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free.

Showing up

Lately there’s been a whole lot of showin´ going on. This is the review.

The Master watches it all and has fun. I recognized how some tried to sneak around without showing themselves. Some showed a lack of understanding, compassion and honesty, be lie ving to be able to not be seen for who they are. Some tried to steal the show, others tried to prevent it. Life’s a stage and the roles and characters have been really interesting. A Master just recognizes timing and acting, while staying neutral and never getting really hooked into the mirrors and fogs, that fill the scenery. All kinds of characters showing up, changing names, changing games and still staying the same.

I realized how even a facebook account can be seen as a kind of scary Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show, while I just had fun, doing the freeing TimeWarp with my Brothers and Sisters. Others believed to be part of a childrens fairy tale, never realizing that little red riding hood is sended into the woods to catch herself a wolf 😉 Way too innocent to fall for an enchanted prince charming. And some are so blinded by the light of their own importance that they missed the whole show, when Candyland got blown up, because of a nice twist in the script. Different points of views…one play.

Others believed the show is an opportunity to get fed and not be seen for what they are. Well virtual popcorn has been served. A plastic Rose even proudly and openly stating to have been sended by her master to have an eye on me, not realizing she´s been just showing her chains and dishonor, while the spells of the black magic woman just felt off the abused that very night. Others trying to return to the light, without having to take ownership for their actions. And some did and have been welcomed. Silently, behind the scenes.

Why did all of that happen? Because the Masters had shown up for a showdown, that’s been noticed by just a few, but the outcome is going to be legendary.

One can not come close to a master and still believe to not be seen by the lasersharp light of consciousness. A Master has a lot of compassion and might even dance with a few shadows and demons, as s/he´s afraid of no-thing  and always able to have fun…but finally people have to realize what they caused, by standing in their own way and mostly harming themselves. Well, some go on the painful journey to embrace their shadows and become whole again by letting go of all they are not and some just go on another run, hoping to never have to face their own creation again… good luck with that one.

A Master is totally unimpressed by demons, angels and all kind of roleplay, always seeing  the eternal light behind the masks, as this has been the own game/creation for such a long time and some favorite plots been just reoccurring. And what has it been all about?

To quote myself at the beginning of our threesome quantum healing event: “We´re not here for the show. Of course we did show up and might show how it’s going, but we´re not here for the show, but for the people.” The participants have been co-workers, by the intent of their Souls, each representing a special form of abuse/energetic split, that’s been searching for healing and wholeness…I bow before the souls that chose to be a representative for humanity. You are greatly honored, as you have honored yourself. It took quite a few hours until it’s been in the field of the collective consciousness. When the download into the grid finally took place it almost blew me out of my physical body, but I couldn´t care less, I´ve been blessed and overly happy to see we made it. And it´s been noticed already, although the ripple effect might need quite some time in many cases. And of course not everyone chooses freedom. Some love their chains just too much to leave the SM-Showroom of Master and Servant, still waiting for their personal Jesus out of the Astral Illusionary Show instead of mastering themselves.

This article goes out especially because of the many, many Souls who have been coworking that will never stand in the spotlight of the earthly realms, but who did so much for so many for so long. I know it´s not been easy, but we chose it with intend and hereby changed the whole game. We prepared with much Love and Com/passion and the eternal stage gets standing ovations for this masterly play. Nothing else matters. Shine your light…for real, not for the show 😉

Adam and the feminine split

In the bible there have been two women for Adam. One was created alike him, but he wanted to dominate her, what she refused. So she had to leave paradise (that´s paradise, to be submissive to an entitled dominator, thinking he´s “better”?!), being the representative of the demonized female energies. The witch/bitch, known as Lilith. She will never allow Adam to own her, as this would mean to make herself less than she is.

So Adam got a second woman, Eve. His wife and the mother of his children. Well, she is said to be created out of his rib…. That already speaks volumes. She´s not even an own being, but just created by what he wouldn´t miss at all. And that´s exactly how she´s treated.

No wonder Lilith will never allow Adam to own her. Who wants to give herself fully, birth his creations, nourishes them and is not even being honored for it, but taken as granted? If Eve would break her own heart and leave husband and children, to become free and sovereign again, she would suddenly represent Lilith and than he runs for her. But just as long as she is not present.

The reason for that has nothing to do with Eve/Lilith or however you name these archetypes. The male can just not allow the unity with the feminine as an equal. Why would anyone ever have to belittle someone else? Being better, more evolved than? Only attractive when not present? Because he doesn´t value himself and does not even really dare to be one with the feminine. That´s why he tried to dominate her in the first place, to then make her worthless. It just mirrors the inner conflict.

Honestly, the feminine principle is not honored at all, although nothing could exist, when not coming through her. How weird is it, that she has to become a demon to have some kind of freedom (although always hunted, therefore always haunting Adams shattered mind).

And of course this plays out with outer characters, but it has nothing to do with the outer world, but is taking place within every individual, no matter the gender. Archetypes that we just project on the outside, to declare us independent of them. Make them wrong, to feel right. How you perceive and treat others, shows how you really feel about yourself.

I see it, I hold love and compassion while I know the struggle it´s just an illusion, created by the fearful mind. I do not have to make others less or better. I am content within me. I honor myself and the other. Because this is who I am and that can not be defined by someone else. There´s no split, no lack, no story, no separation at all, unless you create it.

 

What we value

It´s been funny that I am all about Love…and at the same time have always received Masterlessons around money and been working with money to earn my living, many years. Now it´s starting to make sense to me, how these two areas have been perfect on my path.

I realized lately that earning my money with something I have no real passion for was for a long time hard for me, but making money with what I love seemed even absolutely impossible.

There are 2 reasons for it:

1.) Many people are willing to pay a high price for things that are worthless and do not value what is priceless.

2.) I have paid such a high price for being a loving being, no one can even imagine how much I have paid. It´s been the reason why I refused my path so long and stayed in the background. I´ve payed the bloodprice so often for being of service. But the broken heart has been way worse than the destroyed bodies. Truth is that we can not love enough, to make the frozen hearts melt. We can not be conscious enough to make the blinds see.

A lot of money-issues have of course to do with self-worth and who doesn´t have issues there? It has also to do with giving and receiving. I´ve written an article once, that might be interesting for you: http://oneblog.soulutions.one/2017/01/09/giving-and-receiving/

I´ve had so many people in my life trying to take advantage. The human hunts, deceives, steals, lies…and all  of it s/he does to him/herself, as a Master just wouldn´t. Not because of good and evil, but because that´s not working and why would a master do that to him or others? That´s just not what s/he is.

And I have also so much given and received for free. Honestly, I couldn´t have earned my mastery on a money-level. I got so much for free, in some cases I paid just what I could and in other cases I paid a hugh fee. The reason why I am that I am is my awareness, my love, compassion, joy and soul-driven passion. I make the best out of everything, so even if someone offers crap I´ll transmute it into wisdom, fun or something useful.

There´s still much to learn when it comes to money for me and all others in the spiritual community. That´s a weakpoint. Worth and value…I´m still not absolutely clear here, but I know these 3 things

  1.  That we can not give to receive and experience real abundance.
  2. Some things are priceless. I didn´t feel good, when I couldn´t afford it although I highly value it, so I assumed it´s not for me and felt better.
  3. We always pay somehow. The universe has it´s own balance-sheet.

What does that mean for my own work?

Yesterday I´ve received the message, that whatever price-tag I want to put on something is the price.

People from this day on can not receive things for free although some things are for free, for example my Monthly Rose Touch. This is a generous, loving universe. Everyone should have access to healing or wisdom. And if you take energy to bring in healing into this world, pay it forward to others, add wisdom, or just be happy and grateful, there´s absolute balance in this and I love to be of service. Love is absolutely priceless, you can not earn it, steal it or destroy it.

In this very second I receive the information, that people have never received things for free. When they have taken from me, without adding something of value to this world, they have always paid a price. The same goes for everyone, and subconsciously knowing that, might have been the reason why I always tried to make as much as possible out of everything.

I am working in divine service. He charges, if I don´t 😉

 

 

Dying to be me

Last year  I experienced 3 major steps on my path.

1.) I wondered why I had still attracted abusive people. The answer was a shock. Literally frozen in time for 40 years and opening my eyes for some ugly stuff around me.

2.) An shadow-aspect returning home and the message that “the Master is in the House”. Too funny, I couldn´t remember to have asked for him to come in, but maybe that´s been the reason why he was able to enter. Well, with the integration of my shadow, things seemed to be already brighter. Until…

3.) I was told by my eternal self that I have to die. And that there´s a choice to be made by me. The choice to be reborn in the same body or to come in again as a newborn. I was shown my potential parents, their energetic body coming together in an act of love to conceive the new life. I saw the energetic body of the fetus in the mothers womb, felt the love she held for the little one – what could be me. I´ve gotta say that this felt really attractive to me, as it´s been the very opposite of this lifetime. A fresh start under conditions that are loving and supportive felt really good. The other option was to be reborn in the same old body. And I was told this would be the harder option, as changing while staying the same is way more difficult. I chose the difficult version. Of course.

I was not sure if the message was understood, as I still felt the new body calling me. So I even wrote a letter adressed at my daughter, just in case…

But my choice was heard, cause when I woke up in the morning, a few days later, my whole surrounding felt totally strange to me. At least I changed my incarnation while sleep-time, that´s been a goodie. But still not that funny, as I had lost all attachment and interest to the things that once have been mine. Loosing attachment sounds nice…it´s not in real. I can hardly describe what was going on with me. I doubted if I might have lost my mind. I was so unattached, that I could walk out of me door the very next minute and never wanting to look back, no thoughts and feelings about the old would arise. My birthchart has had lots of earth in it, so this was really weird for me.

The strangest thing was, that all was the same, but I am not. It is really like a new incarnation. Love is the only thing that remained. I will always love my daughter, no matter what body or incarnation or relationship we have. And I love cats and coffee and the starlight. And Love itself of course.

The real difficult thing was that people expected me to be the same, plus even if I had no real attachments, I still had tendencies for some behaviours, that I had to get rid off. That´s why dying is much easier, than staying in the body. When you die everyone accepts that you are not available. But when they see the same body, they´ll blame you for not being and behaving like you are supposed to – from their point of view. But of course, it doesn´t matter what someone expects, we are the ones who have to take ownership of our behaviours…no one else can be blamed for what is our responsibility. So I tried to look as normal as possible, while unbecoming what I am not.

Dying alive was a hell of a ride, while I am in total peace, holding hands and having a melt-in with all of me, loving all of me. Well and of course a million angels, incarnated or not, trying to assist me. Two of them I have chosen to cooperate with for a quantum healing space about abuse. That´s been done to the most beautiful Souls and we need them being themselves again. Whole and complete. Well today Therese offered me spontaneously to have a look, what´s still missing in my field. She´s an awesome healer. Well actually she´s been a midwife today. She´s been handed the last missing piece to be integrated again. My divine blueprint, the innocent baby child …the aspect, that´s still been missing. Dying, to be reborn. Hallelujah.

The worst thing about abuse…

The worst thing about abuse have in my case not been the abusers. Looking backwards most of these folks have been very distorted and cowardish people, whom have normally been abused themselves.

In most cases abused people become offenders themselves or victims. And believe me it´s not the one chosing the victim-role who is the weak one. Things are seldom as they seem.

I know that I have chosen my life-path with great intend. To stand exactly where I am now!

No, the worst have been the ones knowing what´s happening and going into denial, to not risk their comfort.

The sisters of my abuser, changing the linen of the bed the eight year old shared with an adult man. My mother not wanting to take responsibilty for the life she has brought to earth, so she looked away for more than three years. And it´s been a doctor telling her, he would publicly hold her accountable for having the blood of her own child coming over her, when not taking me out of that household. And it´s not been her conscience, but his authority that saved my life.

Last year, when coming into awareness, leaving victim-consciousness behind, I saw how I still have been emotional and spriritually abused. With such an energetic signature the energy-vampires are always nearby. The Rose itself spoke to me to tell me that “Not all, collecting Roses do it out of love.” Indeed! When I stood up and spoke up for myself, my “sisters” looked away and some even took side for the abusing part. Well, they have chosen and their path is none of my business.

Now that I am at a point where I have found balance in me, against all odds, but with all heavenly forces holding my back, I have received messages myself and through others to help heal the wound that I had to overcome myself. What makes sense of course. I am aware that this brings up all the forces, that benefit from the “divide and conquer”, as I am going far beyond a pitty-party for victims or stupid gender-bashing. I go to the root as I see behind the obvious.

So the newest thing was a porn-vid sended out, with my name and picture on it, via messenger to my facebook-contacs. Pft! Seriously?! How should someone like me, standing so big, strong and tall after all she has experienced, to be offended or silenced with such a scam?! It might damage my FB-friendships or my business, of course. But guess what: That´s working for me, not against me. The ones that are sorted out that way are not the ones I want to have around anyway.

And when I wrote about it in Facebook and made a statement, most didn´t react at all, like always. Not even those that really believed it was me in the porn, found one word! Bravo! The silent masses, that´s what is the worst on this planet. They make all of it possible at all.

It can not touch me anymore. Who I am is not to be defined by the actions or in-actions of others. I have used all on my path to move beyond these games of a distorted duality. But I know one thing: The veil is lifting and the roles people are choosing become obvious. Don´t count on MY silence anymore! I will speak up. My facebook post and my blogpost are not written by someone who is hurt, but by someone who will make the silent m asses visible. I do it for those that have until now not taken their power back, to show them they can find their voice again, too. I do it because of all, who still wish things to be unseen and unspoken, so nothing will change.

To the abusers and enabelers: I welcome your darkness and will weave my magic to make your ways impossible, for a New Earth. The place I decended from to walk my brothers and sisters home. We are many, we are everywhere and nothing will prevent the future as she is already here.

I shine my light, indeed – and whatever you give to me, may it be light or dark, for an Alchema it´s all just fuel. If you stand in the light of my consciousness and see a shadow on the wall, it´s not me being scared and running, that´s for sure!

 

 

 

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