Category: Insights & Perspectives

Sharing insights and points of view

Recent Posts

Open and true communication

There seem to be so much communication going around, but when we take a closer look a lot of it is just noise. It is distracting, confusing and even creating division instead of understanding.

We do not use communication for what it was ment to be, to show ourselves truly, to exchange points of views and experiences, to than gain better understanding of “the other”. Instead we show a false persona and speak hollow words.

Instead of true communication we lie, cheat, manipulate, fool each other (and of course ourselves, as we try to convince ourselves very often through our talk). Why? Because we think we are not good enough. That we wouldn´t be accepted when we show ourselves truly and freely. We believe to be seen as weak or vulnerable when we really speak our truth.

Well, I find the opposite to be true. The more I am aware of my own strenght, the more I am able to be open. When something is needed in this time of masks and illusions than it is true, open communication.

Real communication brings us to a place where we are able to see what we might have in common and that leads to a union beyond our diversity. There is always much more we have in common with people, than what seperates us from them. Even enemies have often much in common: Their fear, their investment in lack-mentality, their longing for safety and their believe the other would prevent them from being safe and having enough.

People are afraid others wouldn´t respect them, if they knew their weakpoints. Well, when you allow yourself to show your true self you will respect yourself for your strenght and authenticity. If you respect yourself, your weakpoints stop being weakpoints, it is just the perfect imperfect way the divine shows itself through you. The ones that than turn their back on you, not allowing your honesty, have never been a real match. It is perfect that they run to worship another illusion, to distract them from their own vulnerability. You want people that love you for who you are, and they are not able until now.

Someone told me lately that I would be too open, that I would expose myself, when talking about childhood trauma or about having had an ailment. That as a healer, teacher and a living Rose I should be an example of the divine and therefore be the best I can be. Well, I had a good laugh. Cause that is what I am. Being aware of my divine self, although I was abused as a child or having myomas. I chose that path, to be as divine AND imperfect as everyone else. To show that we are always perfect in our imperfection. Always loved, no matter what happens and that we can heal ourselves, cause everything we need to overcome our obstacles is already within us and around us. Showing my perfect imperfections is the very best I can provide.

The new healer, teacher is not showing only one aspect of himself, the divine self, s/he is showing them all, cause the most important teaching and healing s/he is providing is the truth, that you have it all inside of you also. If they are imperfect humans, your imperfection is okay, if they are divine, you are divine.

True communication shows all that you have inside. Others will  compare notes and choose what is helpful for them. In this way we benefit from communication. We have fooled ourselves and others long enough. Time to get real, to really show up, to really exchange our knowledge and truth.

When people speak to me one-on-one they dare to be real, to speak their truth, show their weakpoints. They know they can trust me, because I have been through it all myself. I know darkness, that´s why I can hold the light. I am compassionate, not because I am more holy than they, but because I am human, just like they. We have to make peace with our human self to embody the divine self.

When there is nothing to hide, that´s how we truly shine your light!

The freeing of the throat chakra

I am living a life that is filled with wonders. It really is, they are sometimes happening to me, sometimes happening through me or witnessed by me. Often these wonders have had many little steps of preparing before a huge groundbreaking step could be made, that seems like an unbelievable wonder, coming out of the blue. Literally in this case, as the color of the throat-chakra is blue.

I have been silenced and killed for speaking my truth so very often, like so many of us have been. Experiencing to stay in silence when we should have spoken up, or to have spoken, when we should´ve stay silent. Whatever we did, it always had lead into trauma of some kind.

Exactly one year ago I was told by a guy that I should be more careful with my self-expression, as I´d not be aware of the power of my words. I looked at him and thought that he is not aware, that this power he projected onto me, was also his own and that he silenced me so often in other lifes because he struggeled with his own power and voice. Well, this time he didn´t kill me physically, but took my voice in other ways with much cruelty. We were a perfect match of suppressed self-expression. But it could do me no real harm, as I am using all adversities now  as stepping stones and try to transmute all energies. And a lot of it had to do with freeing my throat and taking back my voice.

I have described a few weeks ago in a blogpost, how my creativity had been suppressed in my childhood and how I had started with writing almost 12 years ago. Many things happened to free my throat in these years. Bringing out my first two books the last 5 years, I have had  a writers podcast, I´ve been creating this blog a year ago, in a language that I almost not even dared to speak, because of mean mocking about my abilities to express myself in english. In the beginning of 2017 I even started to have little vids on a YouTube-Channel and I recorded two guided meditations into the “Inner Rosegarden”. Recently I had started a german blog about my childhood abuse and speaking about my true self as a Healer of Hearts. I have started to express myself in many ways, but I never dared to sing, as I´ve been unable to hold the tone and have been deeply shamed for that. I had also described in that blogpost how I nevertheless once have sung a song to my daughter when she was a baby and how she had felt the love in my voice and stopped crying and fell asleep.

But still I couldn´t hold a tone and was very shy even when singing a happy birthday together with others when my voice was hardly heared at all. Well, yesterday I went to an online meeting via zoom, hosted by Merita Bat Shoshan, who created and used the BlueRose you can see above. She did that meeting together with Julita Gonera and Colette Liose, all three adding their personal healing skills for the topic:  “Balancing you throat chakra”.

Today I suddenly starting singing. And don´t get me wrong, I´ll not start a new business and I will not become a great singer. But I used my voice naturally, expressing my feelings openly and not feeling ashamed at all. To prove it I have today recorded the song I have been singing to my daughter as a baby. It was created out of two Elvis-Songs, that came to my mind that night 30 years ago, when I had tried to comfort my crying daughter. Today this song, you hear when opening the link: The freeing of the throat-chakra had closed a beautiful circle. I have just changed the lyrics a little bit.

A deeply, deeply felt “Thank you” to everyone, that helped me to become free, like a bird in a tree.

We can only perceive our own nature

I was wondering a long time, why people can not see the love and beauty all around them. And I´ve got to confess that for a very long time I tried to help them see. But we can not. It´s been a lesson that took me quite some years, made me knock so often at the wrong doors, or wait for people that they finally move to a nicer state of being. But that has been just a distraction from my own path and a total waste of time and energy…well, but of course it doesn´t really matter, as there is no lack of time and energy in the multiverse.

Must have been eight or nine years ago, when I wrote a story about an angel, visiting hell and trying to tell the tortured souls they might just very easily leave their pots of boiling water. But noone listened, they just wanted her to stay next to them, to hold their hands while they moaned about the pain, instead of just leaving it behind. There was even one guy, trying to convince her to join him, as this would be a luxurious yacuzzi and they might have a hot pot party. If I find that story, I might translate it in english and post it, it is quite funny – and true.

For a long time I thought people are just fooled into darkness, but more and more I see, that it is their free choice. You might offer them as much love and light as you want, they´ll not be able to deal with it. Even when they pretend that they want it, they do not. You can send them a Jesus and they´ll nail him to the cross, sell the pieces and parts of that cross, kill and torture others in the name of Jesus…and not understand one of his words.

For a long time I thought something must be wrong with me, cause somehow people just couldn´t see or hear me. Literally. People almost run into me very often. Physically seen it is not easy to oversee or overhear me. Some people told me it must be my faulth, that I do not see myself, or do not show myself. And of course I was so willing to see it as my failure. It is not, all is well and I received some masterlessons lately.

I tried to tell people in my office that I do not want to hear things about violence, rape and sexual abuse, especially not the details out of a police report…but they just did not hear it. They reacted on the first half of my sentence (cause they normally listen), but the rest they just did not hear. If they would have listened, they would have to face their hunger for destortion, and that´s not what they want to see…and change. Today I even left the room in the middle of their talk, without saying one word, I turned around and simply left, let them literally speak into empty air and they did not react at all to my unusual and rude behaviour. Astonishing.

I exposed some really unknown chapters of my life lately and people that are normally following every move of me and that are really curious just did not see it. Interesting.

Yesterday I read an eye-opening story in “Memoirs of a Master”. In this story the Master visits a shop in an Elvis-Las- Vegas-Dress and at the end there is a message over the loudspeaker saying “Elvis has left the building”…and noone reacts. People do not see and hear what is out of their own vibration. And in this story it is explained that this happens for safety-reasons. So when I was trying it today, acting in a rude manner and people didn´t respond at all, I realized it is true.  And for the first time I felt good, when not being seen and heared. I´ve been dragged to the pyre too often by people that called it a bonfire, as destroying what they weren´t able to build had been their passion by free choice. No need to hang around with them. We can not make the blind see, unless they want it.

Today when coming from work I entered the tram, that´s been overly crowded, as it´s been rush-hour. On the ground there was a broken white Rose, maybe it felt out of a bouquet. Noone saw the flower, I wondered how it comes that they did not step onto her. So I picked her up, carried her home and gave her water. I posted a picture and the comment of Coco, that this flower is like fresh snow, pure, made me realize, that she would have seen and picked the Rose also. Her words showed who she is. People can only perceive purity and beauty, when they have it themselves.

We can not heal the darkness of others, just remove our own (we all have it to some degree). But when we shine our light, the right ones will see it. Isn´t that perfect?

Receiving the Monthly Rose Touch myself

Yesterdays Monthly Rose Touch-Session had so beautiful energies in it. I felt really happy, light and joyful, when the energies where transmitting. And I was sweating really hard, as so much energies came through, it was really an intense experience.

As always, I´d love to hear about experiences from participants, if they feel like sharing, cause I am learning myself every session. But you all felt great from my perspecive 😉

Yesterday the session had overlenght and at the end I received the RoseTouch myself, what is not always the case. The reason why I am sharing my own experience is, that by sharing we are learning and gaining greater understanding.

Being a healer doesn´t spare us ailments and hardship. Just the opposite. Many of us went through tough times as a prepation for our calling. It is important to understand that our ailments aren´t the real problem. They are no punishment and they do not show up to make us suffer. They show up, as a call to release the suffering and pain, that already exists. There is already an imbalance and the ailment brings it into awareness. And very often we incarnate into a family that has that issue since a long time.

I have had a difficult month, as really traumatic suppressed childhood memories showed up. And it´s not only been this memories I had to deal with, but it changed the perspective on my whole life, what felt like totally loosing ground. And that had an impact on my physical body as well, that reacted with all kinds of stuff. I am a healer of hearts, I know not much about physical illnesses. But I experienced again and again that physical ailments have a root in energetic imbalance and therefore healing the emotions, bringing in awareness, changes the body often also.

When remembering the sexual abuse in an already totally disturbing childhood it was literally a shock to my whole system. I really have to thank my daughter, as she recognized the shock and provided first-aid. I learned from that, that nothing is more important after a shocking experience, than to give a safe space where one can process the experience. I didn´t have a safe space in childhood, therefore the shock was frozen (trauma is out of my point of view a frozen state, a time-trap). When it now showed up, there was first the same experience to not have a safe space to process, until my daughter recognized that and helped me.

And I´ve gotta say that in the beginning I really wondered if I would be able to continue my work as a healer without any impact, cause I went through flashbacks and a lot of physical stuff, that´s been typical for trauma. But when I felt inside, the Rose always sended calm, loving signals, so I tried to just relax and trust.

I had a really hard moment when I remembered how my abuser, who died 1981, had contacted me arround 2009/2010. Well, dead people have never been dead to me, but normally I met them in my dream-state at night. His way to contact me was unusual, first showing his presence with inner pictures and than coming through, while I was chatting with a clearvoyant friend in another town. She saw and heared exactly the same I did. I saw it and she typed it. And today I know why she witnessed it. She was the perfect energetic match. Well, when he came through he had a personal message for my mother. In the end, he told me he´s sorry and showed me a Rose and golden Light. I will never forget this experience, because I felt the loving energies of the Rose, what is unforgettable. Just I didn´t understand the Rose he gave me, cause it would take 7 years before I´d experience it again, to than embody it myself. At that time I had accepted his appologize, but now I had to understand what he was really sorry for. I will not go into any details, but it´s been really traumatic. He´s been an alcoholic and I´ve been living alone with him. And than he was the one to show me the Rose-Energy? Hard to  process.

Well, there is always a bigger plan. After my journey to Israel 2015 I had contacted Kahuna Kalei, as I was so often told about my mission while that journey and I could feel it, but didn´t know how to bring it into my life. She told me to do Inner Child Work and that I had chosen this lifepath by intend, to show and teach what I learned. She also said, I had experienced so much sadness in my life out of contrast, as I wanted to bring my true essence, joy, here. She told me my childhood was a preparation for my calling. Just, at that time I didn´t know that it had been worse than I already knew.

So when I went up yesterday morning I was a bit unsure how the first group session would work out. Could I hold the energies as always? Well, yes, I could. And I received extralessons and teachings. I went out in nature, as always when preparing for the group session. The energies where building up beautifully and the picture above was taken under an apple tree. I ended my walk at a place with Rosebushes and benches, that is nearby my home. I sat at one of the benches, recognizing arround another bench there was dirt and broken beerbottles on the ground. I thought how strange it is that people come to such a lovely place to than create such a mess. Well, I looked at the Roses and felt the beautiful energies building up, when a young man came along with a sixpack. He chose the bench where all the dirt was, sat down, opened a bottle and dropped the bottle cap on the ground. I felt a bit uncomfortable as his energy really didn´t fit with the Rose and I always make sure to not interrupt the process of the building up energies. Well, plus I still felt kind of vulnerable, because of my childhood memories with the alcoholic. I felt inside, what to do and received the answer to stay and focus on the Roses, maybe to stand up and take a few pictures for Facebook. I felt better, when I moved arround to find the right angle to make a nice snapshot. Suddenly I recognized a strange movement from the bench with the beer-drinker. As if he would stoop down and hide behind a column. Weird. As he didn´t come closer, I kept on taking pictures of nicely blooming roses. The guy stood up, went to a trash-can to put the empty bottle there and than went away. As I´ve been in a totally other mood, it took me a while until I realized that he had thought, I might take pictures of him and he might get a bill from the municipal for cleaning-up all the mess arround the bench. Same situation, two people, totally other reality. Gorgeous lesson!

Than the Rose started talking, saying she ´s got a message for all victims of abuse or violence of any kind: “The experience is temporary, the villain in a suffering, very unconscious state. Do not join him there. Focus on your Inner Rosegarden, your true core. It stays whole, untouched and pure – always.”

I went home very happy. And later, when the transmission took place I felt so much love, joy and fun. Very high, light vibrations flooding through me to the participants. I was very glad that my memories didn´t create a blockage or anything like that, so I´ll be able to keep on with this beautiful work. At the end of the session, that had overlenght yesterday, I´ve been told to lay my left hand on my solarplexus and the right hand on my sacral-chakra, where I had the most trouble with, and I received the Rosetouch myself. Than the Rose gave me teachings, saying that even the drunken guy felt his behaviour was  not appropriate, when a much higher energy was present. She said the bad boys do not want to be exposed, because they fear punishment, but also because when they are exposed they would have to face their own behaviour and make the unconscious conscious, what they do not want. She than told me it´ll be part of my work in the future to help those woman that want to leave their trauma behind. They have to feel safe and empowered, to leave the victim mentality and build up their lifes out of a state of strenght.

The Rose is bringing to everyone what s/he needs to reconnect with their divine blueprint. Everyone has therefore a very unique experience. Sharing those is perfect, so not everyone has to make the same.

So, these are my insights:

  • We all need sometimes help.
  • The evolvement never stops.
  • All is conspiring in our favour, when we allow it.
  • We choose our frequency and the frequency chooses the perception of a situation.
  • Noone is condemned. No villian will be punished. They even try to help, when they finally really understand what they did.
  • Do not join the perpetrator in his vibration.
  • There is a masterplan at work, to turn even the worst into a blessing.
  • Love is the ultimate Masterhealer.

Thank you to everyone, walking this path and shining the light!

Why all spiritual teachings fall short

When we teach with words and concepts we come to a point where they can no longer teach. Where the path cannot be described, but has to be experienced without concepts.

First of all because every path and experience is different. There is a reason why the divine took endless roads to return to itself. And second because we have an idea of the meaning of words, what is filtering ideas, but the path goes beyond.

There are teachings that say we loose the I am, while I perceive it as the understanding and integration of the I am.

There are teachings, saying that the ego has to die, while I perceive it the way that it just doesn´t matter any more. No-thing is dead, all is a-live.

There are people describing the nothingness, while I perceive it as the “all”.

Because of the concepts and descriptions people take sometimes strange roads, when they follow them, instead their own inner guidance.

They hunt the ego, wherever they perceive it and so they create a new i-dentity, the ego-hunter. I´m laughing my divine ass off. Yes, I still have an ass that is perceived as mine in this moment although I know it is also not.

They become so holy, that they deny the expressions of divine, that are “not holy”. To me that is a joke, there is nothing that isn´t divine.

They suppress their feelings, cut off what had overwhelmed them, and declare their  robotic state of beingness as evolved. Well, I feel more than ever, I come to my senses, able to feel even a stone on the other side of the town.

They focus on one aspect of their being, the enlightened one, and ignore all else. But god/dess is not ignorant, but present in everything.

There is no right way, just the own way. Someone talking about the own way may inspire others, just like I do, but the own way can only unfold in a unique way. Why would the divine send out endless different aspects? There is no mistake in that. So enjoy your own path, no matter which one you choose to experience.

Shine your light and don´t mind your ego, identity, right, wrong, better, less, holy, unholy. Just be and have fun…or not 😉 <3

You don´t know what you don´t know

As the light is getting stronger, the things hidden in the dark show up. A lot of people make these experiences at the moment, where the unknown becomes known. It shows up, cause we are now ready to face it, transmute it…and change whatever is needed to be changed.

I´ve experienced with others and myself, that things that are unknown have an impact on the own biography and stop our evolvement. In my own family something my grandfather once had done and that burdened him with a deep feeling of guilt has had an  impact of sabotage on his own life and the generations to come.

We have to make the unknown known to stop the destructive repetitions. Cause they occur, no matter if we know about the cause or not. I didn´t think that there might be much unknown stuff in my own case. I have memories from really early childhood, from other lifetimes and even remember how I once chose to go to earth and why.

But there had been difficulties still showing up, that really didn´t make sense to me, especially when it came to relationships of any kinds. I attracted psychopaths. Although I seemed to have made all my homework, healed issues of abandonment, people-pleasing and whatever may have caused it, one really strange experience occured last year again. Just that I didn´t knew I had attracted distortion again, cause he´s a “spiritual” guy and everyone thinks him to be just wonderful. I realized one could really wonder what he was ful(l) with. It took me a long time and some hints from the lightforces and friends (as I couldn´t understand his mindset) to realize what had been hiding in the dark. After finding out I had a serious talk with my Higher Self, saying “Enough! I deserve better! Stop it!” It didn´t make sense to me. So, I´ve been shown what has caused my attraction of distorted, abusive people: Childhood memories showed up…out of the blue and really scarry, distorted and traumatic.

Our subconscious knows it all. We are on an energetic level like a computer, that is running a programm. And there might be a virus in our system, causing us serious harm. We have to look at it and transmute it, to change our energetic setup. We are all doing it at the moment, on a personal and collective level. Seems to be really hard sometimes, I´m the last one that would say that it is easy. But the future can not change, when we are not doing the work in the now.

One thing that I realized is, that the silencing has been one of the worst things about my own abuse and for many others. The people around, pretending to see nothing, just to keep their comfortable lifes or even benefit somehow. People that even blame the ones that would need support, care and their back up. Scapegoating, to not take responsibility for the own dark feelings, like guilt, fear, shame. And perpetrators, trying to “use” the situation to cause even more harm. The affected people are left alone and after a while stop to even ask for help. I´ve been talking with a woman of a help-organisation yesterday and she agreed it is the worst about all of it. So I chose to go out and write about it. I´ve been talking with the woman from the help-organisation about this decision of mine, also. She said, that it could indeed help myself, help others and is needed in society. But of course, when we expose ourselves we might be targeted also. But finally I decided: “I´ve been targeted so often anyway. This planet isn´t safe until the last child may sleep safe in his own bed, without experiencing rape or other forms of violence. I didn´t come to earth to be safe, I came to be a lighthouse, nothing less.” And while I type these words, Bob Marley starts to sing in my mind: “Get up, stand up.” So thank you for the heavenly support, brother of the light.

I have created a blog, that is in german, but has a translation button at the end of the page. If you are interested, just klick on the Link: https://ichsein.soulutions.one/. The topic is abuse, its effects in my life and my path of healing. I know, that there will be people, that will dislike it, but I´ve gotta be myself and do not need anyones approval. Their judgement doesn´t say who I am, but who they choose to be. I have nothing to hide and nothing to fear, but secrets and darkness itself – and I don´t! They cannot exist where light and truth have taken reins.

 

Martyrdom is a misconception of the divine service

It took me a while to put this inner truth into proper words, but I hope I am now capable to do so, so you can understand my message and benefit from it.

Martyrdom has to do with guilt somehow and guilt is not a truth. Both are the result of a misconception. When we serve others out of that feeling to be somehow responsible for them, for their well-being or suffering, than we create an energetic distortion, as we act against divine truth. Martyrdom and guilt is the denial of the divine I AM of the others and their abilitity to create their reality.  When I see helpless creatures in them, people that are “less than” or if I deny my own divine self and see myself as “less than”, than the distorted idea arises that they have to save me or I have to save them. This energetic imbalance creates a point of view that is confused. It would mean that I would owe them, or they would owe me somehow. To do it for the other, because we think we have to “save” someone is never a good decision as martyrdom denies the divine self, the creator that exists in all of us.

I´d like to offer another option and point of view: Serve others, but do it for yourself, because it expresses who you are. Do it because it expresses your divine self.  I´m not a loving, compassionate and generous person because I have to or because I want to be a good person. That once used to be my intention, before I dared to be selfish enough to care about how I feel. And I want to feel good, in alignment with my divine core, therefore I do not try to force others to be who I want them to be – just the opposite: I am who I want to be, all else is not my business. I am free and they are free. And I choose more and more with whom I spend my time. Nothing is more important to me now but with whom and in what mood I spend the moments of my life. It´s an honour to spend time with me. Why? Cause I can be perfectly happy when being on my own watching the clouds move or the stars twinkle above me. I have found peace and happiness inside of me. I do not need to spend my time with someone. I do not need someone else to make me happy. When I´m with myself and with nature I am happy, in peace and harmony. So why would I spend my time with you? Because I care. Because I love you as you are another part of my divine self. I love this divine spark in you and I´d love  to see you thrive. But in case you want to suffer or play silly powergames, I am out. I will never again suffer in the name of love. I see you as free and I see myself as free. All else is too less for me.

I know that my mission here on earth is one of service. Cause being of service is actually divine. People still get that wrong. They treat people that are of service with disrespect, cause here on earth all values had been upside down. I always knew that. I knew that the highest position is those of a wo/man that is serving the people. Think about it: The ones that changed this planet for the better all have been humble somehow. They all served. And do not get me wrong. I may serve you, but doesn´t mean I will accept it, when you treat me somehow with disrespect. That´s the best way to make me enjoy the starlight or the singing birds on my own. In this case I´d decide I´d serve you best, when leaving you behind.

And that I chose to be of service doesn´t mean I can have no luxery, of course I can, who deserves it more but the ones that  came to earth to serve. I remembered all my life that I did so. I remembered the place where we had been individuals, but with a connected consciousness. I had this memory, but didn´t know what it meant. Now I know it is the future of mankind. I remember the horror when I went into the darkness to help people find their inner connection again, that they had lost. I decided to be of service. Not because I had to, but because I chose to. That´s not martyrdom, that´s honoring my and your divine self.

Shine your light, that´s what you came for!

Visit your own past and future – How I became my own angel

Our consciousness knows no limits. We have created the limits as we had to focus and function on a 3D-Level. But our heart-consciousness doesn´t know these limits, as I experience while my Rose-Sessions again and again. And recently I´ve even experienced twice a kind of time-traveling, that I want to share this with you, to inspire you to love and heal yourself.

A few weeks ago a disturbing, suppressed memory of an abuse, when I was around 8 or 9 years old, showed up. It´s been a very traumatic experience and in this very specific memory, I was so frightened that I remember to have left my body and I remember that I was astonished that when I opened my eyes again, that I´ve been still alive and in my bed as I had thought to die. Over the next days more details showed up and I was glad that I didn´t had to deal earlier with these memories, as I now know how to handle it.

Some years ago I had been at an event with Alberto Villoldo, who had talked about bringing aspects of the own soul back, that had split apart while trauma. After the event I bought a book about that process for someone I knew to have these splits, without knowing that one day this knowledge would help myself. And  over the last years I had sended sometimes a lovewave or a hug into my own past, as a lot of my childhood has been disturbing, and it felt good to give my child-self the love she had missed. But now when I found this memory of deep trauma I went into a special state of mind and I imagined to go to myself as a child and to hold myself in the arms and to talk to myself while that abuse to give my child-self the feeling of safety and comfort. Well, I did that process late in the evening and fell asleep shortly after that special time-traveling. When my adult self woke up the next morning I had a memory that as a child a presence, that I had assumed to be an angel, had been with me that traumatic night. Isn´t that strange, that I seemed to have changed my past and that I had been my own angel? But very beautiful and healing.

Well I´m training my heart-mind coherence at a class of Shamir Ladhani, who a few days ago teached such a trauma- time-traveling in his “Monday Morning Espresso Shot”, a free webinar he´s giving every monday. His description is pretty close to my shamanic approach and I loved it. He recorded the webinar and so you´ll find how to do it, if you need and want to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-gwXVDmup0

And it´s been also Shamir who asked his participants while another class to send a loving signal into the future. That´s been the second unusual experience that I had, cause when I did so, I received a loving echo from my own future-self, that felt very light and joyful. Amazing!

One could say, that these experiences are just an imagination. And I cannot prove, that I have changed my past or my future. But I see it that way: When I give my past or future self what they need, I am here and now in a healed and happy state of mind. I´m a pragmatic capricorn, I do not care very much about theories, when I have one fact that really rocks: It works!

Feel inspired and shine your light!

 

The treasure in the dark – New video available

In this video, I am offering a point of view that helped me personally to overcome painful experiences in my past. I´ve been stumbeling a few weeks ago over suppressed traumatic memories out of my own childhood. I´m very glad that these memories didn´t show up earlier in my life, as I know now how to integrate these aspects.

But when dealing with painful experiences, there is often a voice in our heads, that cannot understand the “Why?”. I try to offer you a perspective, that has been helping me on my path immensely and that is strenghtening instead of feeling victimized.

Let it work for you, not against you.

 

The new New Age – Beyond black´n white

I never fitted in. The “normal” society thinks me to be really weird, although they know not more of my real life, as that I am using alternative medicine and that I meditate. That´s already strange enough for them, but that´s just as much as they can accept. They do not know that I´m working as an energetic healer, as their perception is limited and metaphysics is for them fantasy or deception. Well, when my new book is coming out in a few month, they´ll know it. Might cost me the job that is paying my rent, what feels quite uncomfortable to be honest. But I´ve gotta be me, no matter who likes it or not.

Well, I´ve also never fitted into the New Age Community. I´ve been drinking coffee long before Lee Carroll and Geoffrey Hoppe made that acceptable. I´m wearing black very often, and often with intense colors on it, as black makes them even more shiny, I love that. I´ve been criticized  so often by the ones believing that wearing white would make them purer and better than me. For sure they need to be. Well, Paulo Coelho and Gregg Braden do also prefer black mostly, but noone would criticize them, cause they are famous. Others gossiped because of my overweight and the holy ones may be even more malicious as the normal folks. I´ve recognized it and could love them anyway, cause I know about their low self-worth, that needs to feel better than others. The New Age community often had just chosen other boxes, but until now not so many did really leave them behind.

Whenever I met those of ancient traditions, they never criticised my clothes or my overweight. The Shamans that crossed my path, whatever color they´ve been wearing,  spotted me in the biggest crowd, looked me in the eyes, smiled and nodded while passing by or layed their hand on the heart and bowed. They do not need to be right or better, they know their own I AM, so they can with ease honor mine.

I do also not fit in spiritual groups, as I enjoy the teachings, but sooner or later I will mirror the oppressed shadow of the guru aka teacher, and who wants to see and transmute that? I´ve been an invitation to be whole, instead of playing holy, but they normally chose other and that´s fine for me now. It used to make me feel lonely. But I found out that I´m in good company when being with me and that I will not pay the prize to sell myself, just to be accepted in someone elses box. I´m living in a city near the frontiers to france and switzerland and that mirrors my being, as I´ve always loved diversity. I´ve danced to “Highway to hell” so wild and joyful every devil would´ve felt his forgotten heart and I prayed for the peace of this world with the devotion of an angel and to me that´s not been a polarity, but life unfolding naturally.

I didn´t fit in, cause I represented the shadow, the very thing that society oppressed. The unwanted. But the treasure is in the shadow, as this is what makes us whole again. The normal society suppressed the magic of life. And the wanna-be-holies they´ve suppressed all they assumed as “not holy”, as its been too profane for their holy butts, producing only unicorn-poo.

I do not want to fit in anywhere no more, I came to go beyond it. I am the one knowing that all is holy. The dirt of the earth is divine, a Rocksong may be disturbing, or express the joy to be alive…it´s up to you, what you do with it. I´m going beyond black´n white. I´m the new New Age, as beloved Suzana named it yesterday in one of her many genius moments.

The new New Age is inclusive. It´s not denying the magic and it doesn´t wanna escape in Ivory Towers. I was 20 years old, when I stated: “Going into the Himalaja and getting enlightened is easy. Do it in everydays life, that´s a bit more challenging.” We didn´t come to escape this earth. We wanted to change her, through us. Not by building new boxes.

The wind that is playing with my hair, the sun kissing my rosy cheeks, the child coming along and exchanging smiles with me, the cat on the street, the coffee in my cup, my huge buddha-belly, the bird in the tree and the drunk homeless, they are all holy. Nothing of it is less, as all has the divine in it, otherwise it wouldn´t exist.

The new New Age goes beyond black´n white…it is colorful, just like life itself. I did not write this article to offend anyone, I´ve just expressed myself. I do not need likes, I do not need followers and I do not need approval. But I´ve gotta be me, in all my perfect imperfection. The ones that are my tribe understand that, the rest may do whatever pleases them, they are just as free as I am, shining my light and enjoying theirs.