Category: The HeArt of Creation

Creating reality is an artform and you need the power of your heart for it.

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The freeing of the throat chakra

I am living a life that is filled with wonders. It really is, they are sometimes happening to me, sometimes happening through me or witnessed by me. Often these wonders have had many little steps of preparing before a huge groundbreaking step could be made, that seems like an unbelievable wonder, coming out of the blue. Literally in this case, as the color of the throat-chakra is blue.

I have been silenced and killed for speaking my truth so very often, like so many of us have been. Experiencing to stay in silence when we should have spoken up, or to have spoken, when we should´ve stay silent. Whatever we did, it always had lead into trauma of some kind.

Exactly one year ago I was told by a guy that I should be more careful with my self-expression, as I´d not be aware of the power of my words. I looked at him and thought that he is not aware, that this power he projected onto me, was also his own and that he silenced me so often in other lifes because he struggeled with his own power and voice. Well, this time he didn´t kill me physically, but took my voice in other ways with much cruelty. We were a perfect match of suppressed self-expression. But it could do me no real harm, as I am using all adversities now  as stepping stones and try to transmute all energies. And a lot of it had to do with freeing my throat and taking back my voice.

I have described a few weeks ago in a blogpost, how my creativity had been suppressed in my childhood and how I had started with writing almost 12 years ago. Many things happened to free my throat in these years. Bringing out my first two books the last 5 years, I have had  a writers podcast, I´ve been creating this blog a year ago, in a language that I almost not even dared to speak, because of mean mocking about my abilities to express myself in english. In the beginning of 2017 I even started to have little vids on a YouTube-Channel and I recorded two guided meditations into the “Inner Rosegarden”. Recently I had started a german blog about my childhood abuse and speaking about my true self as a Healer of Hearts. I have started to express myself in many ways, but I never dared to sing, as I´ve been unable to hold the tone and have been deeply shamed for that. I had also described in that blogpost how I nevertheless once have sung a song to my daughter when she was a baby and how she had felt the love in my voice and stopped crying and fell asleep.

But still I couldn´t hold a tone and was very shy even when singing a happy birthday together with others when my voice was hardly heared at all. Well, yesterday I went to an online meeting via zoom, hosted by Merita Bat Shoshan, who created and used the BlueRose you can see above. She did that meeting together with Julita Gonera and Colette Liose, all three adding their personal healing skills for the topic:  “Balancing you throat chakra”.

Today I suddenly starting singing. And don´t get me wrong, I´ll not start a new business and I will not become a great singer. But I used my voice naturally, expressing my feelings openly and not feeling ashamed at all. To prove it I have today recorded the song I have been singing to my daughter as a baby. It was created out of two Elvis-Songs, that came to my mind that night 30 years ago, when I had tried to comfort my crying daughter. Today this song, you hear when opening the link: The freeing of the throat-chakra had closed a beautiful circle. I have just changed the lyrics a little bit.

A deeply, deeply felt “Thank you” to everyone, that helped me to become free, like a bird in a tree.

We can only perceive our own nature

I was wondering a long time, why people can not see the love and beauty all around them. And I´ve got to confess that for a very long time I tried to help them see. But we can not. It´s been a lesson that took me quite some years, made me knock so often at the wrong doors, or wait for people that they finally move to a nicer state of being. But that has been just a distraction from my own path and a total waste of time and energy…well, but of course it doesn´t really matter, as there is no lack of time and energy in the multiverse.

Must have been eight or nine years ago, when I wrote a story about an angel, visiting hell and trying to tell the tortured souls they might just very easily leave their pots of boiling water. But noone listened, they just wanted her to stay next to them, to hold their hands while they moaned about the pain, instead of just leaving it behind. There was even one guy, trying to convince her to join him, as this would be a luxurious yacuzzi and they might have a hot pot party. If I find that story, I might translate it in english and post it, it is quite funny – and true.

For a long time I thought people are just fooled into darkness, but more and more I see, that it is their free choice. You might offer them as much love and light as you want, they´ll not be able to deal with it. Even when they pretend that they want it, they do not. You can send them a Jesus and they´ll nail him to the cross, sell the pieces and parts of that cross, kill and torture others in the name of Jesus…and not understand one of his words.

For a long time I thought something must be wrong with me, cause somehow people just couldn´t see or hear me. Literally. People almost run into me very often. Physically seen it is not easy to oversee or overhear me. Some people told me it must be my faulth, that I do not see myself, or do not show myself. And of course I was so willing to see it as my failure. It is not, all is well and I received some masterlessons lately.

I tried to tell people in my office that I do not want to hear things about violence, rape and sexual abuse, especially not the details out of a police report…but they just did not hear it. They reacted on the first half of my sentence (cause they normally listen), but the rest they just did not hear. If they would have listened, they would have to face their hunger for destortion, and that´s not what they want to see…and change. Today I even left the room in the middle of their talk, without saying one word, I turned around and simply left, let them literally speak into empty air and they did not react at all to my unusual and rude behaviour. Astonishing.

I exposed some really unknown chapters of my life lately and people that are normally following every move of me and that are really curious just did not see it. Interesting.

Yesterday I read an eye-opening story in “Memoirs of a Master”. In this story the Master visits a shop in an Elvis-Las- Vegas-Dress and at the end there is a message over the loudspeaker saying “Elvis has left the building”…and noone reacts. People do not see and hear what is out of their own vibration. And in this story it is explained that this happens for safety-reasons. So when I was trying it today, acting in a rude manner and people didn´t respond at all, I realized it is true.  And for the first time I felt good, when not being seen and heared. I´ve been dragged to the pyre too often by people that called it a bonfire, as destroying what they weren´t able to build had been their passion by free choice. No need to hang around with them. We can not make the blind see, unless they want it.

Today when coming from work I entered the tram, that´s been overly crowded, as it´s been rush-hour. On the ground there was a broken white Rose, maybe it felt out of a bouquet. Noone saw the flower, I wondered how it comes that they did not step onto her. So I picked her up, carried her home and gave her water. I posted a picture and the comment of Coco, that this flower is like fresh snow, pure, made me realize, that she would have seen and picked the Rose also. Her words showed who she is. People can only perceive purity and beauty, when they have it themselves.

We can not heal the darkness of others, just remove our own (we all have it to some degree). But when we shine our light, the right ones will see it. Isn´t that perfect?

Receiving the Monthly Rose Touch myself

Yesterdays Monthly Rose Touch-Session had so beautiful energies in it. I felt really happy, light and joyful, when the energies where transmitting. And I was sweating really hard, as so much energies came through, it was really an intense experience.

As always, I´d love to hear about experiences from participants, if they feel like sharing, cause I am learning myself every session. But you all felt great from my perspecive 😉

Yesterday the session had overlenght and at the end I received the RoseTouch myself, what is not always the case. The reason why I am sharing my own experience is, that by sharing we are learning and gaining greater understanding.

Being a healer doesn´t spare us ailments and hardship. Just the opposite. Many of us went through tough times as a prepation for our calling. It is important to understand that our ailments aren´t the real problem. They are no punishment and they do not show up to make us suffer. They show up, as a call to release the suffering and pain, that already exists. There is already an imbalance and the ailment brings it into awareness. And very often we incarnate into a family that has that issue since a long time.

I have had a difficult month, as really traumatic suppressed childhood memories showed up. And it´s not only been this memories I had to deal with, but it changed the perspective on my whole life, what felt like totally loosing ground. And that had an impact on my physical body as well, that reacted with all kinds of stuff. I am a healer of hearts, I know not much about physical illnesses. But I experienced again and again that physical ailments have a root in energetic imbalance and therefore healing the emotions, bringing in awareness, changes the body often also.

When remembering the sexual abuse in an already totally disturbing childhood it was literally a shock to my whole system. I really have to thank my daughter, as she recognized the shock and provided first-aid. I learned from that, that nothing is more important after a shocking experience, than to give a safe space where one can process the experience. I didn´t have a safe space in childhood, therefore the shock was frozen (trauma is out of my point of view a frozen state, a time-trap). When it now showed up, there was first the same experience to not have a safe space to process, until my daughter recognized that and helped me.

And I´ve gotta say that in the beginning I really wondered if I would be able to continue my work as a healer without any impact, cause I went through flashbacks and a lot of physical stuff, that´s been typical for trauma. But when I felt inside, the Rose always sended calm, loving signals, so I tried to just relax and trust.

I had a really hard moment when I remembered how my abuser, who died 1981, had contacted me arround 2009/2010. Well, dead people have never been dead to me, but normally I met them in my dream-state at night. His way to contact me was unusual, first showing his presence with inner pictures and than coming through, while I was chatting with a clearvoyant friend in another town. She saw and heared exactly the same I did. I saw it and she typed it. And today I know why she witnessed it. She was the perfect energetic match. Well, when he came through he had a personal message for my mother. In the end, he told me he´s sorry and showed me a Rose and golden Light. I will never forget this experience, because I felt the loving energies of the Rose, what is unforgettable. Just I didn´t understand the Rose he gave me, cause it would take 7 years before I´d experience it again, to than embody it myself. At that time I had accepted his appologize, but now I had to understand what he was really sorry for. I will not go into any details, but it´s been really traumatic. He´s been an alcoholic and I´ve been living alone with him. And than he was the one to show me the Rose-Energy? Hard to  process.

Well, there is always a bigger plan. After my journey to Israel 2015 I had contacted Kahuna Kalei, as I was so often told about my mission while that journey and I could feel it, but didn´t know how to bring it into my life. She told me to do Inner Child Work and that I had chosen this lifepath by intend, to show and teach what I learned. She also said, I had experienced so much sadness in my life out of contrast, as I wanted to bring my true essence, joy, here. She told me my childhood was a preparation for my calling. Just, at that time I didn´t know that it had been worse than I already knew.

So when I went up yesterday morning I was a bit unsure how the first group session would work out. Could I hold the energies as always? Well, yes, I could. And I received extralessons and teachings. I went out in nature, as always when preparing for the group session. The energies where building up beautifully and the picture above was taken under an apple tree. I ended my walk at a place with Rosebushes and benches, that is nearby my home. I sat at one of the benches, recognizing arround another bench there was dirt and broken beerbottles on the ground. I thought how strange it is that people come to such a lovely place to than create such a mess. Well, I looked at the Roses and felt the beautiful energies building up, when a young man came along with a sixpack. He chose the bench where all the dirt was, sat down, opened a bottle and dropped the bottle cap on the ground. I felt a bit uncomfortable as his energy really didn´t fit with the Rose and I always make sure to not interrupt the process of the building up energies. Well, plus I still felt kind of vulnerable, because of my childhood memories with the alcoholic. I felt inside, what to do and received the answer to stay and focus on the Roses, maybe to stand up and take a few pictures for Facebook. I felt better, when I moved arround to find the right angle to make a nice snapshot. Suddenly I recognized a strange movement from the bench with the beer-drinker. As if he would stoop down and hide behind a column. Weird. As he didn´t come closer, I kept on taking pictures of nicely blooming roses. The guy stood up, went to a trash-can to put the empty bottle there and than went away. As I´ve been in a totally other mood, it took me a while until I realized that he had thought, I might take pictures of him and he might get a bill from the municipal for cleaning-up all the mess arround the bench. Same situation, two people, totally other reality. Gorgeous lesson!

Than the Rose started talking, saying she ´s got a message for all victims of abuse or violence of any kind: “The experience is temporary, the villain in a suffering, very unconscious state. Do not join him there. Focus on your Inner Rosegarden, your true core. It stays whole, untouched and pure – always.”

I went home very happy. And later, when the transmission took place I felt so much love, joy and fun. Very high, light vibrations flooding through me to the participants. I was very glad that my memories didn´t create a blockage or anything like that, so I´ll be able to keep on with this beautiful work. At the end of the session, that had overlenght yesterday, I´ve been told to lay my left hand on my solarplexus and the right hand on my sacral-chakra, where I had the most trouble with, and I received the Rosetouch myself. Than the Rose gave me teachings, saying that even the drunken guy felt his behaviour was  not appropriate, when a much higher energy was present. She said the bad boys do not want to be exposed, because they fear punishment, but also because when they are exposed they would have to face their own behaviour and make the unconscious conscious, what they do not want. She than told me it´ll be part of my work in the future to help those woman that want to leave their trauma behind. They have to feel safe and empowered, to leave the victim mentality and build up their lifes out of a state of strenght.

The Rose is bringing to everyone what s/he needs to reconnect with their divine blueprint. Everyone has therefore a very unique experience. Sharing those is perfect, so not everyone has to make the same.

So, these are my insights:

  • We all need sometimes help.
  • The evolvement never stops.
  • All is conspiring in our favour, when we allow it.
  • We choose our frequency and the frequency chooses the perception of a situation.
  • Noone is condemned. No villian will be punished. They even try to help, when they finally really understand what they did.
  • Do not join the perpetrator in his vibration.
  • There is a masterplan at work, to turn even the worst into a blessing.
  • Love is the ultimate Masterhealer.

Thank you to everyone, walking this path and shining the light!

The Choir of Energies – My calling

 

To me it is a beautiful, divine joke that I am gathering people for group sessions. I really love being on my own, as I am very sensitive to energies and easilys distracted by others energies. I love being in nature, as there every being is just following their flow, all is connected and itself at the same time. And that is my real magic, being able to perceive and feel that connection with all that is and in nature that feels great. With humans not so much usually. We are all more or less distorted as humans, we have lost this ability to be part of all that is and being ourselves at the same time.

But I remember how this feels like. I had a memory all my life, that didn´t seem to fit into this life and not even into my pastlifes. I remembered a place where I felt like a child sitting on a beautiful meadow, being totally happy, in peace and in love with all that is. I was connected in a very loving way with other beings, also living there, we had an inner awareness of the other. And than something horrible happened. Some of us went into a kind of cave (the soul thinks in pictures) and one being that was very close and dear to me, went into it and got lost. The inner connection was cut off. I reached out and couldn´t sense him. He didn´t answer. Another one went there to search for the first one, but the same happened. It felt horrible. And although the cave felt like really great danger, I couldn´t stand it to have no connection and not knowing if they are fine. So I went into the cave also, because I wanted to help them, but also out of curiosity and adventure. I knew it is dangerous, one could easily get lost, just like the others. The last thing I remember was pure blackness and horror. Welcome to planet earth and to a world where people do not know that they are one with all of creation. Where connection was made to dominate or manipulate and not as a natural expression of the own being.

2009 I met a guy named David Brown. He was from South Afrika and channeling Kryon, but more working with emotional topics like the Inner Child. I had started to write and thought about writing books and he told me that this is fine, but it would lead me to be “A Healer of Hearts”. I thought he is making jokes. But no, he insisted that this is my calling and what I came for.

2010 I listened to a guy named Alberto Villoldo, a medical Anthropologist and also a well known Shaman, as he was teaching what he learned from the Indigenious People. He said they were telling a tale about a heavenly meadow where we all have been living in harmony until a huge and beautiful angel came along and told about this earth and that people here need help. And some chose to come here and this are the lightworker. I stood there mouth open and thunderstruck when he told that story. How could a tribe in the Amazonas know my memory about the heavenly meadow? And well, I understood that I came here, cause even some lightworker had lost their inner connection with all that is. And of course I did also…just I had a precious memory, the ticket home, in my pocket when I came in.

When having my Initiation last year the prohecy of me being a healer of hearts came true. The Rose is all about Love and Compassion and these are the Masterkeys for any form of healing and well-being.

When 2017 started I was facing an interesting problem: How should I find time for all the people wanting to get to know the Rose or needing help and assistance, but couldn´t afford a private session? It wasn´t possible to help all and it didn´t feel right to exhaust myself, as I have to work at an office-job to pay my rent, I need time for my own evolvement and my writing work. When having a problem, we need to think totally outside the box. It seemed impossible to find a solution. So I asked  the higher self of a master-soulutioner: My own. I received very clear instructions: Bring together quantum healing and group sessions and dedicate one day every month totally to this work. Give no other free sessions, but take good care for yourself. So I gave the first group-session on january 7th, the evening before my birthday. Goodness, I couldn´t imagine what would take place, made me laugh and cry at once. Every month I learn more. The people that are gathering at a quantum level, all over the planet, are creating such an amazing choir of energies, that I couldn´t have imagined that in my wildest dreams. I´ve got the ability to connect with others through conciousness, the inner net, that is the precious gift of OneLove I brought in from our divine home. So I stretch my consciousness to all participants, gathering them at a quantum place outside of time´n space as we know it and they are all adding their energies to this choir of divine love. I know that this will be a new kind of energy healing on this planet. When science will be able to understand multidimensionality they will understand how we are all connected and such sessions will be very common.

One thing is also very important: One of my other gifts is to understand natural abundance. It is working like nature and like the choir of energies. Everyone brings in what s/he has and everyone receives what s/he needs. This is very difficult to understand with our cultural programming, cause all on the old earth was about energy feeding and stealing. When people loose their divine connection they are starving and therefore working with domination and manipulation to steal from others. All humans do that somehow. But when we learn to reconnect with our divine self this is no more needed, as we have access to endless energies.

I had people that didn´t dare to sign in for the monthly session as they didn´t want to take something when they can give nothing in return or they thought others might need the healing energy more. That is the old healing modality, but not what happens while the group sessions. When so many beautiful souls are connected with their divine self, there is more than enough as every participant is adding to a place of plenty and endless abundance. I started the monthly sessions out of love  for others and love for myself. This pure intend brings me back to the heavenly meadow, all connected to all, while being themselves. Thank you to all participants that are co-workers in bringing in the Choir of Love. It is really happening. We are bringing heaven to earth.

Keep on shining your beautiful light!

Martyrdom is a misconception of the divine service

It took me a while to put this inner truth into proper words, but I hope I am now capable to do so, so you can understand my message and benefit from it.

Martyrdom has to do with guilt somehow and guilt is not a truth. Both are the result of a misconception. When we serve others out of that feeling to be somehow responsible for them, for their well-being or suffering, than we create an energetic distortion, as we act against divine truth. Martyrdom and guilt is the denial of the divine I AM of the others and their abilitity to create their reality.  When I see helpless creatures in them, people that are “less than” or if I deny my own divine self and see myself as “less than”, than the distorted idea arises that they have to save me or I have to save them. This energetic imbalance creates a point of view that is confused. It would mean that I would owe them, or they would owe me somehow. To do it for the other, because we think we have to “save” someone is never a good decision as martyrdom denies the divine self, the creator that exists in all of us.

I´d like to offer another option and point of view: Serve others, but do it for yourself, because it expresses who you are. Do it because it expresses your divine self.  I´m not a loving, compassionate and generous person because I have to or because I want to be a good person. That once used to be my intention, before I dared to be selfish enough to care about how I feel. And I want to feel good, in alignment with my divine core, therefore I do not try to force others to be who I want them to be – just the opposite: I am who I want to be, all else is not my business. I am free and they are free. And I choose more and more with whom I spend my time. Nothing is more important to me now but with whom and in what mood I spend the moments of my life. It´s an honour to spend time with me. Why? Cause I can be perfectly happy when being on my own watching the clouds move or the stars twinkle above me. I have found peace and happiness inside of me. I do not need to spend my time with someone. I do not need someone else to make me happy. When I´m with myself and with nature I am happy, in peace and harmony. So why would I spend my time with you? Because I care. Because I love you as you are another part of my divine self. I love this divine spark in you and I´d love  to see you thrive. But in case you want to suffer or play silly powergames, I am out. I will never again suffer in the name of love. I see you as free and I see myself as free. All else is too less for me.

I know that my mission here on earth is one of service. Cause being of service is actually divine. People still get that wrong. They treat people that are of service with disrespect, cause here on earth all values had been upside down. I always knew that. I knew that the highest position is those of a wo/man that is serving the people. Think about it: The ones that changed this planet for the better all have been humble somehow. They all served. And do not get me wrong. I may serve you, but doesn´t mean I will accept it, when you treat me somehow with disrespect. That´s the best way to make me enjoy the starlight or the singing birds on my own. In this case I´d decide I´d serve you best, when leaving you behind.

And that I chose to be of service doesn´t mean I can have no luxery, of course I can, who deserves it more but the ones that  came to earth to serve. I remembered all my life that I did so. I remembered the place where we had been individuals, but with a connected consciousness. I had this memory, but didn´t know what it meant. Now I know it is the future of mankind. I remember the horror when I went into the darkness to help people find their inner connection again, that they had lost. I decided to be of service. Not because I had to, but because I chose to. That´s not martyrdom, that´s honoring my and your divine self.

Shine your light, that´s what you came for!

Expectations, disappointments and creative blockages

I remember when I was a little girl and presented my pictures or sang a song that noone took notice or even worse: how I had been deeply shamed with cruel words.

So I stopped painting, singing and all forms of creative self-expression at all. The only accepted form of arts have been literature, as books were necessary to get good marks at school and being well-educated hightened the social position.

The things I have presented as a child had been created with all of my passion, out of my little heart, the way all little children do. But they´ve been judged by the mind and that created a huge blockage within me. I cannot hold a tone although I love music, especially the human voice, and my paintings still look like the pictures of a five year old, as I stopped evolving in these creative areas.

When I was a young adult my little daughter had colics and as I didn´t know what else to do to comfort her, I started singing her a song out of despair. Noone else has been with us and she already cried terribly, so I dared  to try the last thing I could think of. And a wonder happened, she stopped crying and fell asleep. And that wonder not only happened once, but became a proven fact, as it did work always. She was a baby, she didn´t listen with her mind, she listened with her heart at that age. She could hear the love and love is the masterhealer  and the most comfortable place to be. Feels like home.

Today I realized how huge the blockage is that I carried arround since I was a child. As already mentioned books have been acceptable in my family, even my mother loves them. So when I started to express myself again it has been through writing. Well, I remember when I gave my last book to my mother. She came out of her bedroom the next morning and said she had kept reading half of the night, that this book is really not badly written. When she saw that I started smiling, she added: “Well, of course one can see that Jenny (my daughter) has written a lot of it.” I starred at my mother and said: “No, she´s very busy herself, she helped me finding mistakes, but this book was written by me.” My mother insisted: “No, there is a lot of very intelligent psychology in it, that comes from Jenny.” And I answered: “Well she is my daughter, she´s got some interests and talents in common with me. That book is mine. ”

Today I realized that I had connected my disappointments for not being valued, with all that I create from my heart. Noone likes disappointments, so I stopped creating. And when I started to create again I still expected that people would ignore or dislike it. And what we send out, we attract. The HeArt of Creation. I have an imprint inside of me for not being valued for what is comming out of my heart and what I love.

But that imprint in itself is already wrong data. The mistake has not been my self-expression, but that I expected others would like it.  And what a strange idea to be appreciated by people that have totally other values…and a closed heart.

Today I swore myself, that I will write, sing, dance and express myself every single day of my life. Not for others, but because I might explode or end in deep depression if I don´t do it. We came here to express ourselves, everything that we do should come out of our heart. It is not important if others like it, but that we like it ourselves. And once in a while we stumble over like-minded, the ones that connect with us from heart to heart. What a blessing!

Shine your light, precious soul!

Transmute the energies of your birth-chart

One of my beloved Rose-Sisters wrote a very inspiring article http://www.carolineyazi.com/reflections/read-the-signs/  that I recommend, when wanting to know more about your true mission. I love reading signs myself and she mentioned Astrology as one of the tools to use. And that inspired me to write this article, as I am working with astrology sometimes, when I am not sure what the real issue behind a pattern is.

The way I am using astrology is very much soulutions-style-like. I do not linger in the destructive expressions of an energy, but I look at it to find a way to transmute it. Co-working with the energies to bring forth the most constructive expression. Energetic alchemy. The reason for it is that many years ago, when looking at a chart I realized that people have the most difficult energies in the areas of life, where the hidden treasures are. Therefore I do not only see the obstacles, but also the possibilities in it. The first hides the second. Your blockage will lead you to mastery in the areas that are involved, as I mentioned once in another article.

Now astrology is using symbols for very good reasons. A symbol represents an energy, but you decide in which way to use it. Look at your birthchart: what are the energy-imprints, how do they show themselves in your life? You may look at the symbols that you find in a lot of books and articles in the internet to find inspirations what would be a more constructive way to express the involved energies. Tune in, feel what the message is. Play with it.

Here are some examples out of my own chart, to inspire you how that transmutation might work:

  • I´m a double capricorn. Capricorns may be overambitious, running for power or money. Or they might express integrity, gain self-empowerment and find the inner treasure-chamber. Feels way better.
  • I´ve got Pluto at the beginning of my 8th house. When I was 16 years old I realized that sexual energy could bring me all I could ever dream of, but even the idea felt horrible. This position also brought me to a place where I was working with a lot of money and could´ve easily misused the power. Instead of all of that nonsense, I am using my energetic imprint as an ability to transmute dark energies  and assist people to transform and heal. And I wrote a book about new economy.
  • My Virgomoon in my 7th house can easily tune into other peoples energiefield, analysing their patterns and behaviours. One could misuse that to manipulate people. But I use it in a constructive way to understand people and assist them to overcome their patterns. And of course I use this ability as an energetic healer.
  • My Neptun is in Scorpio, near the MC, what made me wonder a long time in my life, what my “mission” might be. Interestingly enough I struggled with the unknown, but didn´t realize at that time how unusual it was that I always knew that I came in with a mission. How about that topic now? Well, I can sense that I´m on my path, but I do not know what tomorrow will bring. And I am very fine with that.
  • My Piesces-Venus could easily be “all over the place”, but instead of loosing myself, I feel a deep love for all that is, I am connected with creation itself.
  • Having very earthly, but also Piesces/Neptun energy in my chart I felt for a long time a deep inner conflict between my spiritual path and the earthly needs. Now I understand that I am perfectly skilled to bring heaven to earth. I am able to find god in the dirt of the earth.

These are just examples. See the energies in your chart like colors that you may use to paint a picture. How you want to use these colors is up to you. You do not have to express these energies in the way they have been showing up until now. You can change your perception and use these colors/energies in a way that feels much better. Be creative and express your beautiful light!

 

The biggest conspiracy of them all

Quite some years ago I used to read a lot about conspiracies. But after finding out, that:

a) yes, a lot of them are true

b) what you fight against, is getting stronger

I didn´t spend further energy in more investigations. I went to search for light instead of stumbeling blind through darkness. Well, of course I´ve still recognized what´s going on. Maybe I saw it even clearer than ever before, cause only when you have no attachments are you able to see more and more of the bigger picture.

And finding out more and more about the bigger picture, I finally ran into the biggest conspiracy of all times. The universe itself, no the multiverse itself, is conspiring against every single one of us. Yes! And as it is creation itself, that is running the show, the options and methods are endless. It´s been sending psychopathic lovers, serving false friends and hard jobs. Nothing that it didn´t do: hunting me, hurting me, killing me. And I know they didn´t treat you much better.

But why in all the galaxies did creation do that? So much effort for every single one of us? The purpose must be a big one! And it is! All of it only happened to make us find our divine spark in the densest realms of them all. I found that all that occured to me only happened to make me find the light within. And I know I agreed on that rollercoaster ride, but had to forget that I signed in. It´s been me, conspiring against myself, to finally find myself. And you did the same. Why? My human mind is not able to understand it. But it´s because of Love.

Love is the only question, option and answer.

Watch your environment, nature talks to you

I was raised in a city and noone teached me the benefits or names of herbs. Just the opposite, I´ve been told dandelions are poisonous, the soil is dirty and when I was 8 years old I feared all little creatures crawling around. I am happy that this has changed and that I love nature very much, although I´ve still got not really a clue about herbs. But I´ve got intuition.

Last authum, when I felt really ill I started talking to my body and I  heared an inner voice telling me about foods to avoid and herbs to use. I didn´t ponder about my knowing, just did what my inner voice said and used it the way it felt right, without bringing the mind in very much. Month later I found the logical explanation for these insights and they´ve been just perfect.

One name I heared when talking to my body was the german name for “Shepherd´s Purse”. I knew I had heared this name somewhere before, but had no idea what it is for and how it looks like. Well when I asked Aunty Google about the purse of the shepherd I starred at the picture. This plant had been growing in all the flower boxes on my balcony all summer long. I recognized that camomile had been growing there also and I needed her for something else. I remembered someone who told me that nature knows what we need and brings it to us. Indeed. Even on a balcony in a city our lovely Mother Gaia delivers the seeds which her daughter needs, long before the daughter knows she carries an illness. She made the wind blow the seeds onto my balcony, or inspired a bird to do his poo between my flowers and plant my cure.

Well, there had been another plant showing up on my balcony last year, the dandelion you see on the picture above. It even stayed there the whole winter and started growing now. I´ve asked inside and received the answer “cleansing” and “use also a lot of water.” The dandelion will enrichen my salads and smoothies. I spoke to him and blessed him and he smiled and said he loves to help me stay healthy.

I heared more of these stories in between, nature speaking clearly and growing cures. So I felt inspired to share this with you. Open your eyes what shows up around you, as it is attracted by your vibes. Know that you are one with nature. Bless her, she cares for you.

 

 

 

Why Selflove has to be the Top-priority for Lightworkers

Someone asked lately in a Facebook-group, why so many Lightworkers are living on their own, having went away from their families. There is a desperate hunger for a loving relationship within so many of my kind. I totally understand that, Love is for a lightworker what is honey for bees. But a lot of bees die, because they become ill on this planet. You may run for sweet sugar and find out it is aspartame, as a loving, clearvoyant friend called it.

Well, I´m very truthful and I really want to enable my clients and readers and so I have to tell them some facts, they may not like, but really need to know to get the bigger picure and to spare themselves pain.

  1.  We all have been hurt deeply and need to heal. You need alone-time for that and when you run from one distraction to the other you will just attract what mirrors your wounds. Well, that is exhausting and doesn´t help your healing.
  2. You have to learn to take good care for yourself. Lightworkers are great in caring for others. But you will only be a Masterhealer, Coach or Wayshower after you´ve learned to heal yourself. Taking care for yourself has to be your top-priority!
  3. When you listen to the outer signals all the time, you´ll not be able to install your own inner direct-line. She is the most important thing to install to become a Master.
  4. This world has ugly faces. You will only be able to deal with them, when you´ve embraced and accepted all your own shortcommings. As long as you´ve not managed to become whole, the vampires and wolfs of this world will take adventage of you. There´s no point in playing with the pigs in the mud unless you became the Lotus.
  5. You need free time and space to explore your skills and talents. My Ex agreed himself, that I´d never had written one book if I´d stayed with him, still taking care of all his stuff and being distrated by all his turmoil and distortions. There would not have been the room for all of my creative, healing and spiritual work.
  6. You´ve got to “fill your cup first”, than you´ll be the overflowing fountain of love. But you need free access to your own source before. Otherwise the fountain will run dry very soon.
  7. You did not loose family and friends, you made room for much better relationships. The most important one is the one with yourself. All that really belongs to you stays or returns.
  8. You´ve got to make inner peace, marry your own inner male and female first. Than you´ll be able to live your dream.
  9. We do not see our own blind spots. So trust your Higher Self and your Guides as they know exactly what they are doing!
  10. The more you concentrate on your own journey, while staying open for others, the quicker you´ll evolve.

I´ll be brutal honest here. Lightworkers are often Empaths and they´ve been hurt deeply, as they attract Narcissists and Psychopaths in a row. And the spritual community is like a chickenfarm for this type of person. We can not see and understand the wolf, cause it is not in our nature. I´ve attracted them myself again and again, because of my childhood-imprints, until I´ve installed my “Razorsharp Bullshit-Detector”, as a beautiful, wise and loving goddess called it. Living on my own has been the best I could do for myself.

Your loving guides want you to become your happiest, best version as soon as possible. You´ll recognize that you are healed when you no longer “need”others and when the wolfs start running away from you. Than you´ll start attracting like-minded friends of your own kind, to form again loving relationships of all kinds.

Shine your light!