Category: Embracing the Shadow

Recent Posts

Personal disclaimer

I should´ve been delivered with a disclaimer. But I wasn´t. Not even a tiny note, warning “Caution. Highly transformative.”

So I can´t blame people that they didn´t get it, that they should stay away when wanting to stay the same old, same old. I didn´t get it myself for a lot of years what it was exactly that was wrong about me. I had to meet one of the same kind to understand that we can not spend too much time with people without triggering their shadow-aspects. It´s my nature and my gift…just not everyone likes it. Well, it doesn´t matter, cause I love them anyway. Often with a lot of distance 😉 What is funny for me, as I´m navigating in the quantum field…where exists no time, no space…no distance at all 😉

Well, at the same time people are attracted to my gift, they  always have searched my advise and presence when in trouble, in all areas of life. All people, not just the spiritual ones love to be inspired to find their clarity and soulution when talking to me. I had to find out that it doesn´t even need my physical presence, it´s working via phone, mail etc…it´s the light of my consciousness I am sending out towards them, that activates their own consciousness – when they do not fight it. Or me, cause they blame the light to create the shadow, when not willing to take  ownership of their creations.

That´s why people who do just think or pretend they want to evolve, should really stay away from me!

Now guess what happens when you bring two of that kind together? What is Therese Wenk to name my fellow transformative rocketship that I´m co-working with a lot lately. First of all, we started to understand what´s been going on all of our lifes. And we both started to evolve very quickly and been bringing our skills together to give quantum healing via transformative webinars.

And we found out we have to give a disclaimer for our webinars. Coming together we are better/worse than ever. Even in a webinar format we are “too much” for most. And like a box of chocolates, you never know what you´ll get, not even we know what we will deliver until we did it.

Our webinars aren´t even webinars in the classical sense. There´s not much content for your mind involved, we´re just feeding him what is needed for a general understanding. But our real work takes place on an energetic level, while the participants may just give intend to receive the energies, relax and enjoy the show. What includes technical issues because of the high frequencies we are working with, loosing our speech as we experience the energies and are surprised ourselves, even as we have been working with the topic normally for weeks already. Quantum is faster then the light and we have to stay quite flexible. Our participants too 😉 And having humor helps also.

Our most unusual experience until now we had when giving our “High Vibe Astrology Webinar”. The topic came as an inspiration and we started to work on a quantum level with the planets, to tune into their most pure energetics. The day before the webinar started Therese was busy with other things, but had to think about a song we could use and “The Age of Aquarius” came to her mind. The same time I prepared for the webinar, found a short film to show another perspective on our solar-system, what was a perfect metaphor for our changed perspective on our personal journey and evolution with High Vibe Astrology. And I found a nice version of “The Age of Aquarius” for the beginning and end of our webinar. I did it without speaking with Therese, we often get similar informations and just exchange them for a more precise understanding on our side before the webinar. Well, having all prepared since weeks, we received further information 45 minutes before the webinar started. That there would be the topic of bringing in our Soulstar included as an extra. OK. I had no clue what that would mean exactly and didn´t have time for doing research as I had to get something to drink and eat, to dress myself and do the soundcheck in these 45 minutes left. Same with Therese.

I know that the timing and circumstances are always perfect. I wasn´t suppossed to have more information on the topic of the Soulstar. No concepts, just going with the flow, directed by inner guidance. So we brought in the High Vibes of this Solar System, plus the SoulStar. And we didn´t make this available as a future potential, but had one participant that went into the process of integrating the SoulStar directly. And yes, that´s not for everyone and an intense experience. And it wouldn´t happen to anyone, as one has to be ready for it and has done a lot of preparation before able to go through it. Another person might watch the vid of the webinar and not understand at all what took place. Maybe even get their shadow activated. But that is also perfectly planned by the own soul. Shadow-work is essential for the path. The own soul aspects and that what is seen as angels and guides know about the timing and would not choose anything that is not appropriate, may it be the Shadow or the SoulStar asking for integration. Nevertheless I was almost a bit shocked and deeply, deeply touched that we had been part of the activation process. It felt a little bit like witnessing a birth, what is actually somehow true. Just we have to come into a body a few thousand times until our Soulstar enters the physical.

So yes, I have to give out a disclaimer for our work. It´s highly effective, you never know what you get – but you can trust it will always be for the highest benevolent outcome.

If you dare to, here is the replay available, as all is happening in the quantum field and therefore still active for participants: Webinar “High Vibe Astrology”

And if you want to know what coming soon, just check out my “Heart & Soul Academy-Page”.

Shine your light, precious Soul <3

The Mary & The Magdalenas

I have described in my last post why the concept of Re-Incarnations can be absolutely limiting and confusing. Shortform: A bit of Chilli in a Soup is just representing Chilli, it is not Chilli.

I am a living Rose, but I am not “the Rose”. Nobody is, a body can be only an expression of a principle and many bodies carry the principle as a potential.  “The Rose” wouldn´t fit in any body. But duality doesn´t understand that. That´s why I and so many others have been mistreated and killed in so many lifetimes and it really doesn´t matter. It´s a joke. Darkness is just stupid as hell. When they killed Yeshua, they could of cause not kill the Christ. Just  the opposite. A little wind became a storm. Every Heart and Soul he has ever touched received the Seed. And every Seed carried Seeds. When darkness realized their mistake, that´s when they changed strategy. They tried to mislead the seedlings. Started to collect them, to “own” the Rose. Oh goodness, how limited and malicious is a linear mind. Trying to darken their lights, so they won´t spread. That´s the reason why so many of my Sisters have experienced abuse, to prevent the buds from blooming. Made a lot of Roses Puppets of hidden Puppet-Masters, as abuse disconnects a person from themselves and their inner knowing.

No Master would follow another Master and no Mary would have ever followed an outer figure, not even their beloved Yeshua. They inspired each other, ignited each others soulfire, but have been shining on their own. Only Duality wants to overtake things. Divide and conquer. And it cannot. Spirit is free and untamed, million blooming seeds are out there and seeding themselves in this very second.

On Sunday the Healing of the Roses has been downloaded in the collective field. It will need time until the ripples arrive at the individual, but nothing can prevent it now. It never could. The outcome was a given.

Time to shine the light. Your own.

Rose News & NeuSpace & Valentine´s Day

Well, nothing stays the same and that´s excellent news. Who would want the same old stories being played out again? For sure not my kind ^_^

Last week had lots of distractions showing up and absolutely nothing worked out as planned, but I am overly happy that all that´s been important did work out somehow. And that´s all that really matters.

One of the strangest days has been last tuesday and while I noticed that all signs yelled “distration overload” I almost missed Patricia Farrington having Sienna Lea as a guest talking about Shadow Synthesis. I´m glad Patricia has excellent senses and so I did finally enter with a little bit of her help 😉 <3 I can highly recommend this recording and Sienna Lea, cause to own our unwanted stuff is absolutely crucial on our path. Here you´ll find the replay of the event: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-woqHC7q4ow

Well, distractions kept occuring to such an extreme that it got really laughable and to find the humor in all the occuring, helped to stay balanced while the weekend, where our #metoo threesome healing event about abuse took place. The recording started too early and  didn´t stop when we closed the room, so I beg your pardon for technical issues, but the event itself had shifted things for some participants in a miraculous way, what is really, really awesome. And that´s actually an understatement. We might have struggeled with the circumstances, but the involved persons really had to come together, to co-create something that got outstanding effects. So, if you do not search for perfection, but for results and real change in your life, I recommend to buy the recording by following the link: https://www.edudip.com/w/278326 In case the page shows up in german, just scroll to the buttom and change your language preferences.

I´m lately more and more communicating publicly via the Internet. One of my Healing Co-Hosts, Muriel Shickman, has created “Neuspace”,  a format where monthly Webinars and Interviews related to the new energies are taking place. I´ve attended a few episodes last year and Muriel is really so much new energy, that you can hear the next Shout or Prognost way ahead of time. I love it! And as Love attracts Love, Muriel asked me a few days ago to join her as a Co-Host, what really, really honors me. I´m so looking forward what we´ll co-create together. Smells like fresh air. Well, the next conversation is going to take place on Wednesday 14th of February 2018. And our topic for Valentine´s Day is of course “Energetic Boundaries”. I couldn´t stop laughing a few weeks ago, when Muriel told me about topic and timing. Purrfect, indeed! So, please feel invited to sign in and join us. Find out more here: http://www.murielshickman.com/neuspace.html You´ll also find previous shows in the archive and please read my bio on the page. I´ve “downloaded” it in an instant and it really mirrors my being. ^_^

Have fun, shine bright like a star and be your own perfect Valentine 😉 <3 Much Love :*

 

 

Adam and the feminine split

In the bible there have been two women for Adam. One was created alike him, but he wanted to dominate her, what she refused. So she had to leave paradise (that´s paradise, to be submissive to an entitled dominator, thinking he´s “better”?!), being the representative of the demonized female energies. The witch/bitch, known as Lilith. She will never allow Adam to own her, as this would mean to make herself less than she is.

So Adam got a second woman, Eve. His wife and the mother of his children. Well, she is said to be created out of his rib…. That already speaks volumes. She´s not even an own being, but just created by what he wouldn´t miss at all. And that´s exactly how she´s treated.

No wonder Lilith will never allow Adam to own her. Who wants to give herself fully, birth his creations, nourishes them and is not even being honored for it, but taken as granted? If Eve would break her own heart and leave husband and children, to become free and sovereign again, she would suddenly represent Lilith and than he runs for her. But just as long as she is not present.

The reason for that has nothing to do with Eve/Lilith or however you name these archetypes. The male can just not allow the unity with the feminine as an equal. Why would anyone ever have to belittle someone else? Being better, more evolved than? Only attractive when not present? Because he doesn´t value himself and does not even really dare to be one with the feminine. That´s why he tried to dominate her in the first place, to then make her worthless. It just mirrors the inner conflict.

Honestly, the feminine principle is not honored at all, although nothing could exist, when not coming through her. How weird is it, that she has to become a demon to have some kind of freedom (although always hunted, therefore always haunting Adams shattered mind).

And of course this plays out with outer characters, but it has nothing to do with the outer world, but is taking place within every individual, no matter the gender. Archetypes that we just project on the outside, to declare us independent of them. Make them wrong, to feel right. How you perceive and treat others, shows how you really feel about yourself.

I see it, I hold love and compassion while I know the struggle it´s just an illusion, created by the fearful mind. I do not have to make others less or better. I am content within me. I honor myself and the other. Because this is who I am and that can not be defined by someone else. There´s no split, no lack, no story, no separation at all, unless you create it.

 

New Vid out about: Fear, Shadows and Darkness

I´ve made a new vid, that holds a deeper understanding about healing, duality and what balance actually really means. There is a huge misconception around that topic, especially in the lightworker community, where many are quite ignorant when it comes to these issues. Nothing is as absurde as lightworkers whom are afraid of shadows, darkness and in total denial.  If we really want to become whole again, move beyond duality, this has to be faced. I guess I made a real good job, to make it quite easy to digest, but it´s of course not the easiest of all topics anyway.

https://youtu.be/4xcBE4UfiTI

A uses b – The roots of Abuse

The #metoo brought a topic into the public, that has been suppressed for so long. As someone who has experienced and witnessed all kinds of abuse, I´m quite passionate about it and I´d like to bring in some other perspectives.

1.) Abuse happens in all areas of life, we are just so used! to it, that we ignore it in most cases. In the past the abuser had to fear justice only in cases when someone was raped and the injuries have been visible and made it impossible to ignore them (there are many cases where even that has been ignored).  But that have been just the extremest form of abuse.

The emotional wounds have been much deeper and invisible, therefore easy to ignore.

2.) Ignorance has been the enabler. What is seen as “normal” we tend to ignore. Although there is a feeling inside that things are not right, but that feeling is suppressed. On the outside the suppression shows up as ignorance or even victim-bashing as the extremest form of ignorance. People do not want to face the injustice that is taking place, because of the consequences they fear when facing the issue. Taking action might have bad consequences or provide inconveniences for themselves. The wounds that are caused by being left alone by family and so called friends are deeper and have a longer lasting effect than the abuse itself. That’s what makes it so difficult to heal. The ignorance is the reason why abuse is so normal for us, that people do not even recognize how huge that topic is.

A lot of abuse is happening not by violence and physical power, but by manipulation and deception. Why? Because of the deeply ingrained believe in lack, unworthiness and powerlessness.

Someone who believes in lack, in not having the own abilities to fulfill their wants and needs, will use his physical, mental, psychological or spiritual strength to get his needs met…via other people.

Read this again and open your eyes. Look around. Ponder about it. Once you see this truth you´ll see how widespread abuse of all kinds is. You´ll see that you have been abused very often, that you´ve enabled abuse and that you might have been the abuser yourself. No, I do not want you to feel bad. I ask you to face reality. This will keep on until we dare to change it. And when you look away today, you might be at the short end of the stick tomorrow…how much more pain and distortion will be needed until we change? Most people don’t care until it is not their their own pain or that of a loved one.

What makes abuse abuse? The consciousness. Two people meeting to exchange their gifts in an open loving way by free will, that´s co-creation, no matter the topic: business, money, sex, you name it. To live that way you have to trust in life, in your abilities to get your needs met and to find the right ones to work together with you by free will. You have to trust you will receive enough, when coming together with others.

Seen that way it’s no wonder we find the most disgusting people often in powerful positions. On the top of the ladder you find the ones fueled by their passions…or by their need to prove to themselves how worthy they are. The last ones do not trust, but believe in lack, they think they have to get their needs met by power, manipulation and deception.

Well think about it, to tell someone you love him/her to get into their pants is a kind of abuse. Just there´s no violence involved and therefore no bad consequences. It´s legal and normal. To tell a guy, whom you chose just because of his money, how much you love and adore him just to make him marry you, build a house and feed your kids, that’s also abuse. Why? Because you are not honest. You abuse your own abilities to make him fall in love with you, to make use of his ressources. You´re not laying your cards on the table and trust someone will be a match to play together as co-creators.

Abuse is literally everywhere. It’s just the extent to which it is happening that differs. But in its core it is the same mindset.

The owner of a company using people, who he doesn’t honor and pay well, to live himself in wealth while they have horrible life-conditions, that´s abuse too.

Someone befriending you, not because they like you, but because you have influence, power, talents, money, and trying to make use out of you, that’s abuse.

Telling your friend that this awesome dress doesn’t suit her, as you are jealous and want to be the prettiest girl this evening, that’s abuse.

I told you it is everywhere, it is “normal”. But as long as all of that is seen as normal, the Weinsteins of this world will be normal too. They are just the extreme results of our state of (un)consciousness, expressed in our daily actions.

Abuse is a game of lack. Whoever plays it, screws the own integrity. You cannot win it, there are absolutely no winners in this game. Even when you overtrump the whole world, you know it deep inside of you. That’s why darkworkers will never be happy people on the long run. They might be rich and famous, believing in their importance and ability to f*ck the whole planet, while the masses follow and admire them…but they will have to face truth one day, that nothing of all of that could heal their own wounds, the root of distortion. And the masses, that admired them? Well when the m gets silent, the rest might end in a shitstorm.

What heals the roots?

Dear one, there´s nothing more beautiful and important you can do for this planet and yourself right now, but give yourself the remedies that are called Love, Acceptance and Compassion.

Shine your light!

There´ll be a Rose Touch Session soon, just about this topic. If you are interested, please stay in touch with the Rose Touch.

The Drama-Triangle

I heard the term “Drama-Triangle” a few weeks ago in a Seminar at my working place. The lecturer brought the example of his mother in law, giving a call that she made a cake and will show up in half an hour with the cake (saviour). And how they, both him and his wife working, with 2 children, had an schedule totally filled and had to say “no, thank you”. With the result, that the mother in law first got totally upset and accusing (victimizer) and finally complained how she always tries to do them a favour and how it took her half the day to make that cake, that is now not valued (victim).

The same day a healer made me an offer. Something that I defo would need and only few places are available, but I can have one (saviour). I didn´t feel in any way I need his produkt and gave him a friendly no, wishing him all the best. (I sensed his pressure already as he needs the money, that´s been the reason why I made sure my no is an uplifting one. People often forget that I read energies). He than was not able to accept my no, telling me this would be just my fear and ego. (LOL?!). I still stayed patient, telling him it´s a bit absurd to tell me to know better than myself what I need. Oh my, that  made him freak out totally! He went full circle or triangle, how unaware I am (victimizer), how outstanding his produkt is, that I wouldn´t value (victim) and how I had missed my great opportunity (saviour).

It´s just an example, as this was a timely coincident, but I decided to write about it, as I see this Drama-Triangle playing out so often. It´s a very destructive behaviour and people are totally unaware how they sabotage themselves and their goals. See, I never thought bad about that healer, my thoughts were positive, I never thought he might offer products that are not good. Just I have a 24/7 direct line to my higher aspects, they tell me what I need or not. I even felt compassion towards him, as I knew how it feels like to need money desperately. But that never made me manipulate or belittle others, no matter how difficult life became. See, you can not give out such an energy and expect to thrive in life. You just make things worse on the long run.

The reason why the Drama-Triangle isn´t working, but destructive:

You can not pump up your selfworth by belitteling others.  And you are no victim, but in charge of your re-actions to life. And for sure you can not feel important by playing the saviour.

The whole Drama-Triangle is created by a low selfworth, what is most common on this planet. But it can only play out when you do not face your own feelings and when you still believe the big lie of “better or less than”.

What helps, no matter if you create the triangle or have to face someone who plays it out, is to bring in awareness. Observe what is just happening. If you have to deal with people, playing out that Drama-Triangle very often, you might remind yourself with hanging a picture of this triangle next to your phone or computer.

Your awareness will help you to not get dragged into the destructive game, but to stay present with yourself. So you do not have to take things personally. It has nothing to do with you, but it´s all about them and their projections. I might feel compassion towards them, but nevertheless I stay away from people that are fully engaged in this game. I give people the opportunity to become aware and to stop their behaviour, but if they do not want  to take responsibility for themselves I stay away from them. For me that´s a matter of self-respect and self-care to not engage more than needed with toxic people. But in most cases you do not have to remove them, as they can not stand your presence, when you gain and emanate selfworth, and will stay away themselves. Of course they will tell everyone else what a horrible person you are, but well, the ones that believe them, they deserve them 😉

Take good care and shine your light <3

 

#metoo The stages of pain, denial and healing

I am one of many women who postet #metoo. The Weinstein-Exposure startet a discussion that comes very late, as the affected have been left alone for so long. But it is a little miracle in itself, that the topic finally entered the collective stage. The hashtag #metoo is already 10 years old, but time wasn´t ripe before…and the names maybe not famous enough.

I wrote a few month ago about my own suppressed trauma from childhood, that suddenly showed up after 40 years. It showed up, when I asked my higher self why I still attracted abusive people after all the healing work I did. The answer was a shock. I asked myself why my consciousness didn´t let it out earlier, as there´s been already quite some other incidences later in my life that I´ve been conscious of. The answer is that what happened to me as a 8 year old, was just too horrible and the remembered episode has been the only one where I was awake, as for some reason the barbiturate wasn´t working that day. It happened over years and normally I was drugged and used and thrown away like a doll, seemingly even selled to others. The whole story showed up in layers to be integrated. My own consciousness is just a mirror of the collective, that denied what it couldn´t deal with. And the collective denial continues and will be unveiled in layers.

The reason why there´s so much dispute in the discussion, are the different stages of processing the involved persons are representing at the moment, as expressions of the collective.

When Pain starts to talk to Denial, there´s no way they can have a proper conversation, not to mention a connection that brings healing.

Out of own experience I want to encourage Pain to express the stages of pain, rage, sadness and whatever it might be you feel. To feel it is needed for the proper integration. Feel it fully, express it…and than give love to yourself. Comfort yourself. Be proud that you were brave enough to express yourself. It is important to value all stages of processing, as only this can bring healing. That goes for the individual as for the collective.

I experienced myself, as a child and this year again, how it feels to be left alone. Or how people even use it against you, to pump up their self-worth and make you “less than”. Yes, this is painful, but I welcomed the clean-up in my life anyway. Maybe you can also try to get a point of view that helps you instead of hurts you.

In later phases, when there´s already peace in the system, there might occur a greater picture. Facts like that the ones that are in denial have not been brave enough to face the topic themselves, to literally step in your shoes. There are many reasons why people deny pain. They might have been victims themselves, they might have been perpetrators, but in both cases they can not deal with the pain. Sometimes they went from victim to perpetrator. It´s a well-known fact that this happens very often. For some reason they don´t have the courage until now to deal with it. And you can not force people to face their shadows, without becoming somehow assaulting yourself. Do not enter the destruction and distraction circle.

Over the last month I learned much about cowardish behaviour. Funny enough the “spiritual” community is the best…in creating forms of denial. And it´s making sense. Most people in the spiritual community still want to be “better than” or somehow special, totally unaware that they are the best when they are just themselves and drop all of that special advanced BS. People just have to be “better than” when they didn´t learn to love themselves and others fully.

The second reason was spoken out loud in Basel from Teal Swan on stage. She said, that most of the spiritual stuff is Novocain, a painkiller. Doesn´t heal anything, just makes people run from one event, book, teacher to the next, to get their shot of release. I couldn´t agree more, been there, done that …until I realized it. Well the second reason has much to to with the first reason, as the biggest pain is the lack of self-worth.

So please, when you have to process pain search for help and stay away from people that are still in stages of denial. Do not waste your time and energy with a fight against other peoples shadows. Use all your energy to face and heal your own shadows. Do also not search for revenge. The best revenge is to be a healed, happy and free being. Go for it. I am by your side and many good men and women are too.

Sending my love and compassion to every one <3

Make sure that nothing harms you, even if it did harm you

Yesterday I´ve been speaking with someone about painful experiences in my childhood. When I recognized she was feeling bad, just out of her beautiful ability to have empathy, I immediately told her to please change her point of view. That I wouldn´t be the person I am without these experiences. And that it is really not an easy path, but that it made me compassionate, strong and independent, so all is well. Make sure that this goes also for you. Make the bad stuff strenghten you, so you will thrive, no matter what.

The hard thing about being abused as a child was that I still attracted abusive people. The hard thing about having a covert narcissist as a mother was the energetic imprint, that would attract people, pretending to be loving and kind…that would than turn out to be covert narcissists. And that they are even existing in the spiritual community. But makes sense of course, it´s way too yummy for the wolfs to not go where their supply hangs around. And as Matt Kahn once said, there´s nothing worse than a spiritual narcissist.

All of these experiences are just painful, as long as we allow them to hurt us, without getting the benefit out of it.

I don´t know how you see it, but one thing that did hurt me was a feeling of imbalance and the idea of “that´s not  right that they get away with it and maybe even harm more people”. Well, drop it, actually they don´t. Noone escapes him-/herself on the long run. Noone is seeding without reaping, but it´s none of your business. Just take care of your own seeding and harvest. If you would stay in pain and misery, the Law of Attraction had to bring more pain and misery. Choose something better instead. Cause you can bring in balance for you, and you are only responsible for you, when you bring in a benefit to balance the harm.

An example: Someone told me a story, to get my attention, time, money. Although I felt something was weird I gave them what they wanted. Should I feel hurt when I recognized they tried to use me? Or instead say: I paid for the lesson to next time listen to my inner voice and to learn to say “no” ?! I chose the last point of view. When the same scenario happened to me lately the other got my “no” and than tried to manipulate me, accuse me, said mean things to bring me down. Didn´t hurt me at all. He showed his true colors, not mine. I laughed my ass off. Nice try.

A lesson learned doesn´t really hurt any more. There might be an echo, like a story from a pastlife, but not more.

But do not deny your own feelings of anger or pain. They have a message for you, they show you something that is not the truth of your soul. Just do not  linger in these feelings, when they have delivered their message. Anger for example might carry the message: “I am not a victim!” or “I want this situation changed!” And that is true, but there´s no need to harm someone else to prove that point. Use your anger, that is compressed energy, and let it unfold in something constructive. Clean your house or run a mile or two. Compressed energy is like fuel, use it to move forward and do not lit a candle, because you are a lightworker, and make it finally all explode 😉

There´s always something beautiful we can find even in our darkest experiences. Having made so many experiences with abusive people crossing my borders and not respecting my free will, made sure I am very careful when working with other people to make sure to respect their free will and serve them in the best possible way. My abilities of tuning into others energy field could be very easily misused and I met those, that misuse their own abilities to get what they want. And it´s the reason why some people, that are hungry for power, wanted me in their team. Just it didn´t work, as even the best masks fall one day and than the game´s over. I search only the power over myself. That´s more than enough to master. Instead of overtaking others, I assist them to be whatever they choose. And that really rocks!

My empathy makes sure, that I couldn´t harm someone without harming myself. And we all do harm us when we harm others, just an empath feels it immediately, while a narcissistic personality might never realize she did cause it all herself.

Oh, by the way, to give you a practical hint: Covert narcissists are really sneaky and often pretend to be empaths, too. Well, they might be very good actors, but only concerned when it comes to their own feelings. You can hurt them with laughable things like not having given them a like on Facebook or not having given them a call the last week. But they are really only sensitive when it´s about them. They never ever think compassionate about someone else or about the harm they are creating in other peoples lifes. They give a shit when it comes to other peoples feelings…and if you are an empath you have to learn to be a bit more like them. Just 1% to be able to kickass if needed. I never thought this would be what I´d learn in between lightworkers, but funny enough that´s been one of my most important lessons.

Become an alchemist of the soul and find something that serves you in every experience. A lot of my work as a Soulutioner is about this, to assist my clients to find the point of view that helps them to move ahead. When you find the benefit in a situation, you suddenly feel a positive feeling like clarity, freedom or peace. That´s your indicator, that you made it. What you feel is the energy of balance, that is regained. You need no excuse of the other to find peace, balance, healing. It is all taking place inside of you. That´s an important step for mankind to realize you can move on, no matter what the other is doing or not. You do not need someone to say sorry, to be healed. You hold your own power to find balance, healing, harmony.

It needs two to make war, it needs one to be at peace.

May this article help you, may you thrive and shine your light <3

Photo: Flowering shadow 😉

Facing darkness

As I´ve announced I will write a bit more about shadow-work, as it is crucial at the moment. And Jupiter entering Scorpio tomorrow will bring up a lot of opportunities to face, what has been hidden and denied. I´ve been at an esoteric conference in Basel the last weekend and was very pleased to see that a lot of the invited speakers are not afraid of shadow-issues. I wrote a while ago about the new generation of teachers and yes, they are very real, down to earth and entering  the big stages more and more.

Who enters the earthly realm has to face duality. There´s no way to avoid it. Those that think to be out of that game have a blind spot. When you´re out of the game, you´re not in the arena, but you are here 😉  If you bring in your light, you´ll have to face darkness. All we can do is to be aware and to choose wisely.

I must have a nice light as I had to face a lot of darkness, coming my way. Darkness seldom came “right in my face”, mostly it came as a hidden enemie or as a loss.

For those that are familiar with astrology: I have a 12th house Capricorn sun and the ruler of Capricorn, Saturn, is in my 2nd house in Aries and squares my Sun. Lots of work and hardship, without material security – but lots of hidden enemies on top of it. At the moment Pluto, the helldog, plays with this constellation. I understand that I had to face hidden darkness, as I´ve been hiding my light. I have been badly paid, as I didn´t dare to insist in being paid well, as what I have to give is of value. So things are changing under Plutos influence. So thank you darkness for all your lessons, you are seen and valued for it.

When we are young and darkness shows up, we think this happens to us, we will tend to see us as victims and will try to fix things on the level where they show up: on the outside. When we get older, we understand that whatever occures on the outside, just does so, to stirr us up on the inside.

We are all at the moment in an epic battle between light and dark. Just the way it shows up in our lifes is a bit different, depending on the lessons we have booked when planing our incarnation. Do not get fooled, you´ll win or loose that battle on only one place: Your own heart.

Darkness did everything it could, it throwed everything at me that it had in this lifetime. It broke my heart a million times, it overtook all that I love, including my mother and husband. When team dark overtook my husband, the Repto-Lord that owned him, materialized for my very eyes and grinned into my face. Darkness wanted me to know its power. Yes, darkness brought up an ocean of tears and unbearable pain inside of me. I had periods of deep sadness. But I understood that they can only overtake what is theirs. But I am not and will never be. They can turn people that I love into hidden enemies, (using their hidden dark feelings like greed, envy or jealousy) but they have not the power to take my Love. And their power over their slaves is temporary, but my love for their eternal being knows no end. They took the lifes of people I love, but delivered just a direct line behind the veil to me. Darkness wanted to bring me down, but I´m a stubborn Capricorn, so I made darkness serve me in the end, always. Alchemy of the Soul. Darkness can take my material belongings, but who cares, as long as I own myself. Burn down my house and I find my real home. They can make me the scapegoat, they can abandon me or throw stones at me. I stay untouched in the light of my soul and nothing that is made of an illusion can destroy what is eternal.

I have a seventh house virgo moon. I am highly sensitive to others energies and emotions, while I see and understand very clearly the reason for their feelings. To be able to do my work, my heart has to be an open gate. When someone I love throws hate at me, I can feel it over any distance. Brought me literally to my knees a few times. But couldn´t break me, but purified me. When we are touchable by dark, we still have a shadow not faced inside of us, an aspect not fully integrated. I understand that. So I do not answer darkness with darkness. I turn it around and throw my Light on anyone crossing my path. And those that work against me, get an extradose of Love, as they need it the most. And it works. Darkness runs from me. Of course the running ones told the witnesses, that they can not stand me, as I am the bad girl. Scapegoating and projection. Works, again and again. Well, sorts out the weeds and weaks out of my field, so thank you again.

Darkness played its twisted games so long, that the maincharacter and his many expressions got mad, lost in the game and forgot that it is just a role. Lucifer has been the highest of the angels and he had forgotten, that he is an expression of the divine creation. His role has been to teach through diversity. But he has identified with his role, he believes to be the almighty god and he is a jealous one. He is dependent on worship and when you do not feed him he gets totally angry. You have to fall on your knees and obey to him. And I don´t. He´s just another actor on this divine stage. I honor him and I even love him, as he is my divine brother. Not more, not less. Darkness (Lucifer) has in its core never left the omniverse, where all is in harmony.  And our essence is still there. Darkness is just a way energy is expressed. Darkness believes its polarisation to be more powerful, but its energy is just more raw.

Darkness even thought to own this planet. But I´ve got news for dark: Greetings from home, dear Brother, Lord Darkness, he who is not to be named. Mother Gaia owns herself. She´s married to Father Sky, but not even he owns her. He loves and enjoys her. Its divine love, it knows no distance and no end. You can try to poison Gaia, sell her, molest her as often as you want, you will never own her. Ownership is a joke. You´ve been allowed here, as she allows her children to make their experiences. You are not the ruler of this planet, of mankind or anyone. Rule over yourself, if you can! A wise mother allows her children to make experiences. Mothers that do not allow these, will never have adult children. And Gaia, as an expression of Sophia, is a very wise mother. So thank you dark, for this  lesson, you may now take your seat again. We´ve really enjoyed your show, but life has a few more aspects to itself. You are just a part of all that is.

What you send out comes back to you? Yes and no. When we refuse to answer hate with hate and fear with fear…we become the gamechanger. Team Dark thinks to be in control and invincible. And the reason why they could make eternal free beings their slaves is that everybody believed it, that´s why they worked for darkness at all. When they realize they are not in control and helpless against the power of light, that scares the hell out of them. Team dark runs because it is afraid that when the light wins it would pay them back, that the light would punish them, the same way they have punished the light. But only darkness believes in old testament justice, the light lives in grace.

See, team dark has given all they had, but all they did was to strenghten me. It´s all energy. It now returns to the sender – just a little bit transmuted. They are used to receive hate for sending out hate, that´s an endless self-feeding cycle. But when they receive light in return for darkness, that shows them who the gamechanger is.

And it is a game. There´s no such thing like duality in the heavenly kingdom. Shine your light dear Ones, it will protect you and others in these times of the big change!