The worst thing about abuse have in my case not been the abusers. Looking backwards most of these folks have been very distorted and cowardish people, whom have normally been abused themselves.
In most cases abused people become offenders themselves or victims. And believe me it´s not the one chosing the victim-role who is the weak one. Things are seldom as they seem.
I know that I have chosen my life-path with great intend. To stand exactly where I am now!
No, the worst have been the ones knowing what´s happening and going into denial, to not risk their comfort.
The sisters of my abuser, changing the linen of the bed the eight year old shared with an adult man. My mother not wanting to take responsibilty for the life she has brought to earth, so she looked away for more than three years. And it´s been a doctor telling her, he would publicly hold her accountable for having the blood of her own child coming over her, when not taking me out of that household. And it´s not been her conscience, but his authority that saved my life.
Last year, when coming into awareness, leaving victim-consciousness behind, I saw how I still have been emotional and spriritually abused. With such an energetic signature the energy-vampires are always nearby. The Rose itself spoke to me to tell me that “Not all, collecting Roses do it out of love.” Indeed! When I stood up and spoke up for myself, my “sisters” looked away and some even took side for the abusing part. Well, they have chosen and their path is none of my business.
Now that I am at a point where I have found balance in me, against all odds, but with all heavenly forces holding my back, I have received messages myself and through others to help heal the wound that I had to overcome myself. What makes sense of course. I am aware that this brings up all the forces, that benefit from the “divide and conquer”, as I am going far beyond a pitty-party for victims or stupid gender-bashing. I go to the root as I see behind the obvious.
So the newest thing was a porn-vid sended out, with my name and picture on it, via messenger to my facebook-contacs. Pft! Seriously?! How should someone like me, standing so big, strong and tall after all she has experienced, to be offended or silenced with such a scam?! It might damage my FB-friendships or my business, of course. But guess what: That´s working for me, not against me. The ones that are sorted out that way are not the ones I want to have around anyway.
And when I wrote about it in Facebook and made a statement, most didn´t react at all, like always. Not even those that really believed it was me in the porn, found one word! Bravo! The silent masses, that´s what is the worst on this planet. They make all of it possible at all.
It can not touch me anymore. Who I am is not to be defined by the actions or in-actions of others. I have used all on my path to move beyond these games of a distorted duality. But I know one thing: The veil is lifting and the roles people are choosing become obvious. Don´t count on MY silence anymore! I will speak up. My facebook post and my blogpost are not written by someone who is hurt, but by someone who will make the silent m asses visible. I do it for those that have until now not taken their power back, to show them they can find their voice again, too. I do it because of all, who still wish things to be unseen and unspoken, so nothing will change.
To the abusers and enabelers: I welcome your darkness and will weave my magic to make your ways impossible, for a New Earth. The place I decended from to walk my brothers and sisters home. We are many, we are everywhere and nothing will prevent the future as she is already here.
I shine my light, indeed – and whatever you give to me, may it be light or dark, for an Alchema it´s all just fuel. If you stand in the light of my consciousness and see a shadow on the wall, it´s not me being scared and running, that´s for sure!