Day: October 26, 2017

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#metoo The stages of pain, denial and healing

I am one of many women who postet #metoo. The Weinstein-Exposure startet a discussion that comes very late, as the affected have been left alone for so long. But it is a little miracle in itself, that the topic finally entered the collective stage. The hashtag #metoo is already 10 years old, but time wasn´t ripe before…and the names maybe not famous enough.

I wrote a few month ago about my own suppressed trauma from childhood, that suddenly showed up after 40 years. It showed up, when I asked my higher self why I still attracted abusive people after all the healing work I did. The answer was a shock. I asked myself why my consciousness didn´t let it out earlier, as there´s been already quite some other incidences later in my life that I´ve been conscious of. The answer is that what happened to me as a 8 year old, was just too horrible and the remembered episode has been the only one where I was awake, as for some reason the barbiturate wasn´t working that day. It happened over years and normally I was drugged and used and thrown away like a doll, seemingly even selled to others. The whole story showed up in layers to be integrated. My own consciousness is just a mirror of the collective, that denied what it couldn´t deal with. And the collective denial continues and will be unveiled in layers.

The reason why there´s so much dispute in the discussion, are the different stages of processing the involved persons are representing at the moment, as expressions of the collective.

When Pain starts to talk to Denial, there´s no way they can have a proper conversation, not to mention a connection that brings healing.

Out of own experience I want to encourage Pain to express the stages of pain, rage, sadness and whatever it might be you feel. To feel it is needed for the proper integration. Feel it fully, express it…and than give love to yourself. Comfort yourself. Be proud that you were brave enough to express yourself. It is important to value all stages of processing, as only this can bring healing. That goes for the individual as for the collective.

I experienced myself, as a child and this year again, how it feels to be left alone. Or how people even use it against you, to pump up their self-worth and make you “less than”. Yes, this is painful, but I welcomed the clean-up in my life anyway. Maybe you can also try to get a point of view that helps you instead of hurts you.

In later phases, when there´s already peace in the system, there might occur a greater picture. Facts like that the ones that are in denial have not been brave enough to face the topic themselves, to literally step in your shoes. There are many reasons why people deny pain. They might have been victims themselves, they might have been perpetrators, but in both cases they can not deal with the pain. Sometimes they went from victim to perpetrator. It´s a well-known fact that this happens very often. For some reason they don´t have the courage until now to deal with it. And you can not force people to face their shadows, without becoming somehow assaulting yourself. Do not enter the destruction and distraction circle.

Over the last month I learned much about cowardish behaviour. Funny enough the “spiritual” community is the best…in creating forms of denial. And it´s making sense. Most people in the spiritual community still want to be “better than” or somehow special, totally unaware that they are the best when they are just themselves and drop all of that special advanced BS. People just have to be “better than” when they didn´t learn to love themselves and others fully.

The second reason was spoken out loud in Basel from Teal Swan on stage. She said, that most of the spiritual stuff is Novocain, a painkiller. Doesn´t heal anything, just makes people run from one event, book, teacher to the next, to get their shot of release. I couldn´t agree more, been there, done that …until I realized it. Well the second reason has much to to with the first reason, as the biggest pain is the lack of self-worth.

So please, when you have to process pain search for help and stay away from people that are still in stages of denial. Do not waste your time and energy with a fight against other peoples shadows. Use all your energy to face and heal your own shadows. Do also not search for revenge. The best revenge is to be a healed, happy and free being. Go for it. I am by your side and many good men and women are too.

Sending my love and compassion to every one <3