A few weeks ago I was looking at the word disappointment and fell in love with that word and the truth it mirrors.
An appointment is made by two or more persons, that made an agreement. If one doesn´t want to follow these terms any more s/he should inform the other. Sounds simple, but in fact people are making promisses they never meant even for a second. I don´t like that, but I happily accept all disappointments of that kind, as I love to leave illusions behind. I´ve learned to watch the actions, instead the words and only want what is true.
When looking at the word disappointment I also had to realize that some people are disappointed all the time, while there has never been truly an appointment, just their expectations. They made up some rules in their mind, unspoken laws, that not only form their own prison, but also take all others around as captives. I have to admit that in my past I tried very often to spare people disappointments, cause I love having happy people around me. But I had to realize, that I cannot make others happy and that I have never openly been asked to agree on these terms and conditions. These illusionary appointments have only been made up in the others mind. I felt how I would never want others to do anything they don´t want to, so why do they expect me to do what they want? Cause their “love” has conditions and they only love me for fulfilling their wants and needs. So I am living true love when I disappoint them. True love is totally free. And I really don´t want people in my life, that give a sh*t on my wants and needs, as long as I serve theirs. I decided that I cannot accept these kind of relationships in my life, cause in fact these people cannot have a true connection to someone. They only listen to you, cause than you have to listen to them in return. They are traders, not lovers. They don´t love themselves and therefore you have to fill a void, that is caused by a deep feeling of lack. They need you to fulfill them, but in truth they are never fully satisfied. I saw so clearly how they never appreciate what you give to them, but only see what you didn´t. You can never make them happy and they will never truly be happy for long. Only true communion can do that. And they don´t want that, but instead they want a fake connection, shown by outer rules, signs and appointments. They´ll force you openly or with manipulative behaviour to prove how much you love them, even by harming yourself. If you do them a favour by not doing what is in your own interest, you prove your love. Don´t do that. They are not able and willing to have a true and free connection from heart to heart. It is in their and your own interest to not follow their rules and expectations. It is my pleasure to disappoint these kind of people, by only being available for the real deal. Nothing less!
All these unspoken rules, all these mental prison cells, make real connection and communion impossible. Real, deep communion is only possible when free people are connecting by free will, with open mind and hearts. But all these invented laws of behaviour make it impossible to really touch each other. People try to install safety with that, but it is the safety of a dungeon or graveyard instead of the trust that only occurs through the freedom of a love-connection, unfolding naturally.
So I ask you to follow your commitments as long as your heart wants to, but also dare to disappoint to destroy the prisons that keep us away from true love connections from the heart.
Shine your light!