In the shadows resides all that can´t be accepted and loved. That is how shadows are created: through shame, guilt and rejection. A child cannot stand it to be not good, not lovable and as such experiences cause the feeling of heartbreak it puts all that s/he is thinks will cause these feelings in the unconscious shadow realms of its being.
So it is no wonder when these aspects feel angry or depressed and go on a rampage of destruction. Whenever someone acts out in a destructive way it is never his/her true divine self, but a shadow aspect. Don´t join them in their game. Every time you get triggert by someone elses shadow you can be sure he matches your own. You can not convince a shadow with arguments, he is stubborn and tricky at the same time, you cannot win such a game.
There are only two thing you can do:
1.) send love and compassion to this aspects
2.) avoid to get entangled in any way.
The more ugly these aspects seem to you, the more love and compassion they need. And if you deal with someone elses shadow it is sometimes better to send them love and light on the inside but stay away from them, as they are too suspiscious to accept your love. That´s a lesson I recieved. A shadow aspect doesn´t trust love and is afraid to get hurt again, so chances are high he is making sure he is right. We are mighty creators, even when we don´t know it. Sooner or later someone will say or do something the shadow sees as a prove and fullfilment of his/her negative expectation. Shadows are experts in creating self-fulfilling negative prophecies. Therefore you won´t be able to help someone else transform its shadow unless he is totally dedicated himself to do it.
But you can take care for your own aspects instead of focussing on others. Dealing with the shadows of other is in many cases anyway just a trick of your own shadow to distract you, so he isn´t himself in your focus.
How to deal with your shadow?
Totally accept his feelings of anger, sadness, shame or whatever may show up. Don´t suppress it, don´t ignore it and don´t fight it. Allow it. Hold it. Listen to it, but don´t believe the dark stories of no-love he tells. Just know that he believes in them. Your shadow is like a child trapped in a nightmare. How would you treat a child with a nightmare? Tell him there are no ghosts and leave him alone in the dark? Or maybe it is a much better idea to comfort your inner child until it feels safe. Turn on the light, comfort him and make sure noone is in the cupboard or under the bed. Sing him a song of birds and sunshine, hold the child in your loving arms to keep all monsters away. And when they should show up again make them a chain…out of daisies, color their claws and invite them to sing and dance with you. Love, joy and happiness are the mightiest forces in all of creation.
Shine your light precious soul!