Abandonment is an issue many of us had to deal with and it had been my own core-wound. As I know how painful it may be, I am dedicating this little article to all that are experiencing abandonment and rejection in any form. Know that you are dearly loved – always!
First of all we´ve got to make clear that another person might be abandoning you, but it is the own interpretation of not being wanted and accepted, that is bringing up feelings like unworthiness, depression, grief and heartbreak. Your own feelings about the actions of the other person are harming you.
Seen from a higher perspective these experiences and feelings will lead you to their opposite, to fulfillment, joy and unconditional love. And it is not „the other,“ but you owning the key for this paradise.
See, it is the human self of the other involved person, that is acting this way. When we take a closer look, s/he isn´t abandoning you, but the feeling within themselves that you are representing for them. And no, this feeling has in most cases nothing to do with who you really are, but how they percieve you and the situation.
If there ever existed an unwanted child it´s been me. Until this very day my mother can´t stand my face, voice or presence in any form. The reason for that has nothing to do with my true self and not even with my human persona. One of her reasons is guilt. For her this guilt is an inner reality and she doesn´t want to look at it. With every act of denial and rejection her guilt is even growing, but all of that has nothing to do with who I am. I don´t even believe something like guilt is existing. I wrote a whole chapter about it in my last book. Responsibility is a truth, but guilt isn´t real. But to my mother her inner feeling is reality, while I could stand next to her filled with love´n light, but that won´t change her perception and actions. As I found out, my inner light made it even more uncomfortable for her to be with me than it used to be while I accepted my role in this drama.
I describe this to make it obvious that it is not you being rejected or abandoned, it is the other person, cutting herself off from their feeling, that they for some reason associate with you. It has normally nothing to do with you at all. Read it again and understand it. It is not your faulth!
You wouldn´t feel abandoned if this person wouldn´t mean a lot to you and you might say your pain also comes from the feeling that the other person doesn´t allow your love. You might say it is painful to not being allowed to be with that person and to express your love.
That is not so.
First of all: Noone is able to forbid love. You might love the other one as long as you want. Heartache isn´t occuring because of the abandonment, but because of you trying to close your heart. So it is you hurting yourself. Don´t do that. Never stop yourself from loving. And in such a situation your most love has to go to yourself. When you are able to love you are a blessing to this world. You are created out of lovelight and you´re having access to your inner lovelight, no matter what the outer circumstances may be. Give your love to yourself, you really deserve it.
Abandonment was my best teacher for unconditional love, but it took me quite a while and many, many tears until I was able to learn it. I share this to make it easier for you.
My own turning point came in a strange relationship to a guy some years ago. It felt almost schizophrenic as it was obvious that we had a really strong inner connection, but we brought forth the worst in both of us. Every time I would come close somehow, he acted out really rejecting and cruel. So we had an on/off relationship with a lot of arguments and turmoil. The universe always gives perfect scenarios for our lessons.
See, this guy had the worst fear of them all: He´s been afraid of love, what is more common as one might think. So it´s been the perfect dance: I represented love to him and he represented love for me – but because of our wounds we coudn´t be together, without hurting each other deeply. In this case it had to be me who finally had to close that door. Not because I stopped loving him. No, it´s been out of love, for him and for me, that I had to leave and that´s been the so(u)lution for our unsolvable problem.
The higher truth is always one of love. It is also the higher truth behind your own situation, no matter how painful it may feel like.
To assist you changing your perspective, here are some questions that might help you:
1) Do you understand that you are the beloved child of god?
2) Do you love and accept yourself fully?
If there is a no, you have found the reason for your pain. It´s not the other. It is you, not seeing your souls truth. If you can´t give a yes, you are not alone, cause not many people on this planet can answer with a yes. So, that´s your point where you have to work on, if you don´t want to experience these painful situations again and again.
To help you letting go of „the other“ here are two more questions:
1) What might it be that you are representing for the other, that s/he cannot stand?
2) Do you agree, that the other is an independent person, free to choose any perception and experience that is needed for their souls path?
You have to understand that god allows all of us to express themselves fully. If god lets them, even when they destroy themselves, it is not up to you to force anone to anything. If you feel like, it is your resistance and lack of trust in the higher purpose of all that is you have to work on.
But again the key to end your pain is in your own pocket, not in the others.
And in the end I´ve got to tell you a truth:
Abandonment is an illusion, it doesn´t exist.
We are all part of the OneLove of creation – how could one part of the eternal soup of love cut off another? The idea is even laughable.
If someone tries so, they are not in alignment with their inner truth, that is always one of love.
In the case of the guy that feared me because I represented love I made contact with his Higher Self, while leaving him in daily life behind. That´s been the reason, why I recieved a higher perspective. So I was able to let go, as I knew our love is true and real and all is well. I accidently met him again a few years later and there was nothing but love between us, but he´ll have a long path until he is able to integrate and live love fully, so we wont be together in this lifetime. He needs other lessons, that I can´t and won´t give to him.
You might try to connect your own Higher Self, maybe in a guided meditation, to find out what is the real lesson behind the outer experiences. If you did so and have been able to let go, you might than ask your Higher Self to make contact to the Higher Self of the other, to get the bigger picture.
That is what I am doing when cases like my mother show up in my life. See, no Higher Self of another person would ever abandon another. They are made out of pure Love. That is the reason why I said abandonment doesn´t exist at all, no matter how painful it feels like, it is not true from the higher perspective.
Even the Higher Self of persons abandoning and hurting you, are in love with you.
Allow that. Make peace and give love to the other and recieve love from the other. The eternal love is with you, every breath you take, every step you make. You are never without it. Can you allow it to be with you?
Feel loved, dear ones.
Shine your light!